


And No God Take Pity

by silverneko9lives0



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Dubious Consent, F/M, Kid Kili, M/M, Vampire Sex, Vampire Turning, major tags listed just to be on safe side, teen Fili
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 00:59:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 43
Words: 50,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3590352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverneko9lives0/pseuds/silverneko9lives0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin Durin and his sister Dis Ívarr just inherited a castle that they didn’t even know was part of their family’s heritage. Deciding to take a look, the siblings decide to renovate it into a hotel and move in with Dis’ sons Fili and Kili. All seems well, but Thorin’s seeing things: a man who can appear and disappear at will. He passes it off as the altitude. That is, until the man attacks him one night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

~The Scandes, Year of Our Lord 1015~

Bilbo kissed Thorin’s throat, drawing his hands down his sides in a caress.

Hands tangled in his hair and the man moaned Bilbo’s name. Bilbo embedded his teeth in the man’s neck and legs wrapped around his waist, their members slid against each other. He pivoted his hips down, rocking them, encouraging.

To think, a decade ago he would be here, madly in love with this man: his sire, his hunting partner, his everything. Ten years wasn’t much, but every day had been an adventure sine he was reborn. Thorin’s nails tore at his back and he moaned.

Bilbo released him, licking at the marks already healing on the pale column.

Bilbo rolled off him and Thorin turned on his side, resting his head on Bilbo’s breast.

 _You’re beautiful_ , Thorin’s thoughts echoed in his mind.

 _Only to you,_ he thought back.

Thorin frowned at him again and an image of himself appeared in his mind. Somehow, every time he was given a glimpse of how Thorin saw him, he was left baffled. That wasn’t him. Couldn’t be him.

Thorin kissed him.

“It is you,” he said. “You can’t let what people have said before get to you. Please, Bilbo. I love you. Don’t listen to the words the living has said to you when you were among them. You’re one of us now. You are mine and I will always be yours. If I say you are beautiful, then you are beautiful and no one can take that from you.”

Bilbo kissed him back. “I love you, too.”

There was ramming at the door, startling them.

They hurried to dress and Thorin fled the room. Bilbo followed after. The doors slammed open and humans stormed inside. Thorin raised his hand, and the fires quenched, engulfing the mob in darkness and left Bilbo and Thorin as the only ones who could see.

“It is rude,” he began, “To storm ones home as if you’d the right and the privilege.”

He made for the stairs and Bilbo seized his arm.

“Don’t,” he whispered. “I have a very bad feeling about this.”

Thorin smiled at him and touched his cheek. “I got this, Beloved,” he said. He took Bilbo’s hand off his arm and kissed the knuckles. “We will eat.” Bilbo looked at the group. One of them smelt like them, but living. Such a combination was impossible and even if it were, they were abominable to both mortal and vampire. Thorin had to have sensed his presence. It would be impossible for it to be missed. 

The Half-One stepped forward. He was tall, dressed in priest’s garb, with a silver cross around his collar. “By all means,” he shouted. “Teach us manners, _Lord_.”

Thorin growled at the Half-One’s taunt. He jumped down and Bilbo clutched at the railing. The Half-One looked up, meeting Thorin’s eyes with pale blue. Thorin lunged, aiming for the priest’s eyes. The Half-One dodged, matching Thorin’s speed and wielding a whip composed of chain links Thorin blocked it, and jumped back. His skin had burned and he looked at the Half-One again, arching a brow. Bilbo ground his teeth and his grip crushed the stone beneath his fingers

_This is no time to be impressed! Thorin, we must go! He will kill you!_

Thorin dodged another attack, then another, and another till he was nose to nose with the Half-One. He rammed his fist into the priest’s abdomen and the stench of blood stained the air. The priest gasped then raised his own hand, plunging a silver stake into Thorin’s chest.

Bilbo screamed and Thorin tilted his head back.

_Thorin—_

_RUN!!!_

Thorin burst into flames.

_Live for me. I love you, Bilbo…_

“There’s another one,” the Half-One said, clutching at his stomach.

“Azog?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said, “Go find his mate.”

Bilbo pressed against the wall and they ran past him. Azog limped up the stairs and Bilbo slipped into a room, grabbing the hilt of a silver lined sword, taking care not to touch the metal. Azog stepped into the room and Bilbo crawled up the wall, waiting. When Azog paused, sniffing, Bilbo lunged, landing on his shoulders and sliding the blade into his cranium.

He pulled the sword free and dropped it. He slammed the doors, startling the men.

That night, blood was spilled, and none satisfied his fury. Walking past the corpses, Bilbo knelt at Thorin’s corpse and pet the charred skull. He slit his wrist and held it over Thorin’s mouth.

“Please,” he whispered. “Please wake up. Thorin…please, don’t be dead…”

The ashes didn’t swirl as they had many times before when they’d been caught out after dark. Blood was usually enough to revive him.

But this time, there simply would not be enough blood in the world to revive Thorin the Oakenshield, Lord of Erebor Manor.

~Gothenburg, Sweden, 2015~

Thorin handed the open letter to Dis, grinning like a maniac. “You’re not going to believe this.”

“Believe what?” Dis said, not looking up from her computer.

“Just…take a moment to look at it.”

Dis arched a brow at him, then pulled the letter out of the envelope. Now both brows rose and her mouth opened. “We have a castle.”

“We do. Some old relative from ages and ages—and I mean pre-Christian era—built a castle in the Scandes.”

“Did you fact check this?”

Thorin gave her his trademark puppy eyes. “You doubt me that much? It’s like you don’t even know me. Balin checked it out. And Gloin. I’m not an amateur, Dis.”

“The vouch for it?”

“They do.”

She was starting to smile. “We have a castle.”

Thorin nodded. It was odd to see him this giddy, but then again, Thorin was a historian. Anything that had to do with old castles and great battles was enough to make him even a little excited. But finding out you were the rightful owners of an old castle in the mountains, well…Thorin could perhaps open a museum like he wanted. And Dis did want a hotel of her own.

A castle would be two-birds-one-stone sort of deal. Both of their dreams satisfied before they were old.

Dis read through it. “The archeologists aren’t letting us in?”

“Yet. I already spoke with the head archeologist. There were thousand year old skeletons and dried pools of blood all over the place. He’s pretty sure they died of exsanguination.”

“Blood loss?”

“To the marrow,” Thorin said. “He said it’s possible that they will find evidence of a vampire.”

“Vampire? Really?”

“What they found was on par with Elizabeth Bathory and Dracula.”

“Oh my God, Fili will like that.” Thorin nodded. That would be Fili’s fancy. “Anything for Kili?”

“Um? A castle? I think that’s more than enough for the boys to get excited over.”

Dis sighed. “Aside from Balin and Gloin, am I the only one who knows?”

“Honestly, I _want_ to tell Dwalin and Balin might do so anyway.”

“You’re happier now than you have ever been in your entire life,” Dis pointed out. “Most men this giddy are finding out they’re going to be fathers.”

“I don’t need to have a kid of my own. I got yours…wait.”

“Let’s not.”

“Fair enough,” he said.

She turned back to her computer, fingers hovering over her keyboard. She sighed. “You still want that museum don’t you?”

He nodded. “And we can make it into a hotel too,” he said. “Think about that. I mean, we got time till the archeologists are done. I can talk to them. We both have plenty of money to fund renovations. We got it good at the bank, they’ll surely give us a loan. I mean, who would stop us? It’s _our castle_.”

“Is it?”

“It’s in the mountains, it’s not that big. Plus its name is already written down: Erebor Manor. We could just take out the manor part and call it Erebor Museum or Hotel. Or Hotel and Museum. I’m not that picky.”

Dis bit her lip, the doubt and hope clashing within her. “I don’t know, Thorin. This doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

“Why?”

“I just…I have a bad feeling about this thing. Just intuition. And the Vampire thing doesn’t help.”

“Vampires don’t exist,” Thorin said, taking her hands. “It only means we have a relative who happened to be a cannibal. That doesn’t make us like them. Whoever it was is long dead. Fili will love it. So will Kili. And we want to open our own museum and hotel, don’t we? Break away from the jobs we honestly just don’t like? You complain about your boss more than I do about Dr. Lasgalen.”

She sighed. “You’re right. You’re right. Let’s jump. Who’s the archeologist working there right now?”

“Some Oxford professor on holiday name Grey, or something,” he said, checking his watch. “Gandalf Grey.” He paused. “Yeah. Gandalf Grey. Can I pick up the boys? I really want to tell them.”

“No,” Dis said, smirking. “We tell them together or not at all. And only that we have a castle that was owned by some ancestors. Beyond that, nothing is set in stone.”

Thorin slumped his shoulders and sighed. “Fine. Get your coat. We’re going out to eat tonight.”

“Seriously?”

“I think finding out that we have a castle is worth a celebration, don’t you think?”

Dis nodded. “Fair point,” she said. “Let me get my purse and coat.”

“I’ll meet you out in the car,” Thorin said, heading outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm, a bit about modern Thorin here, to explain why he's (a bit) out of character. First is that he doesn't have his trademark riches-to-rags background. Sure his family had had some financial issues back in the day, but for the most part they got by just fine. Second, I don't think it's possible to be a broody ball of angst when you find out your ancestors lived in a castle and that you could get it back since it's still part of your family history. As for Dis, she always seemed to be the more practical of the two of them no matter what universe they get thrown in.


	2. Chapter 2

Bilbo watched the people working on his home from the chandelier, holding as still as possible so not to jostle it. It was odd seeing humans in the castle. Since the day Thorin died, no one had ventured into the Scandes, forcing Bilbo to leave his home once or twice a month to keep fed in Trondheim.

Never anyone who’d be missed, it wasn’t uncommon for someone homeless to go missing in the middle of the night. It was the bare minimum he’d need in order to “live,” if what he was doing these days could even be called living.

He had tried leaving Erebor a couple times, separate from the memories, find someone to take his mind off Thorin. The last one he had turned had been some woman, Erzebet, or something of that sort, but it didn’t work out when she turned out to be solely interested in women. She had a really fanciful bloodlust though, he’d give her that.

Too bad her cousin killed her.

Before her it had been Vlad and that was interesting, being with someone who was capable of loving men, but not interested in bedding them. What did the current generation call it?

Biromantic?

Vlad was a bit too…charismatically religious for Bilbo’s liking anyway, but they parted on friendly terms. He was killed too, wasn’t he? A couple centuries ago when he decided to try his wares in England? Bilbo shrugged it off. It didn't really matter to him.

He licked his lips, the young one was cute, at least. Maybe he should try his hand at a new relationship again. There weren’t many of his kind left if any and he missed the feel of teeth in his skin.

“Ori.”

The young man looked at his mentor. “Yes, Bifur?”

“What have we got here?”

The mentor—Bifur—had a war-wound on his cranium, affecting his ability to speak clearly and it came off as a slur, slow and careful.

“It looks like graffiti,” Ori said. “Tagging of sorts under the rug. I’m still deciphering it, but so far I can tell it pertains to the last lord of the castle.” Bilbo remembered that. The idiot who did that was drank dry, but Bilbo convinced Thorin to keep it. They covered it with a rug and forbade it from being lifted by the next person on pain of death.

That person was killed too for trying to kill Bilbo, not that she could have done it anyway. She couldn’t quite pin him down long enough to drive a wood stake into his heart. 

_Did I break her neck or did I drink her?_

Honestly, he killed so many people that it sometimes he wasn’t entirely sure who he had killed and for what reason. The faces tended to muddle together. Being a thousand years old tended to do that.

“That word there is similar to master or steward.”

“So something to do with the lord’s butler?”

Bilbo ground his teeth.

“A steward’s a higher position, actually,” their leader, an old man who had a number of grey suits (even Bilbo was a bit put off by that. Who would ever be so drab? He had quite a colorful wardrobe of his own. The idea that his kind would only wear black tuxedos or leather jackets was somewhat insulting. His favorite dinner-waistcoat was yellow, thank you very much) and a blue fedora (why blue?) as the only color he ever wore. “May I?”

“Of course Doctor,” Ori said, stepping out of his way. The Doctor knelt and Bifur did the same. They started snorting and Bilbo rolled his eyes. It wasn’t _that_ bad.

“Crude,” Bifur said.

“Very, but interesting,” the Doctor said, standing again. He stabilized himself on his cane.

“What is?” Ori asked, frowning as if put out by not being in on the joke.

“Oh, it’s just a new hypothesis about the last owner of Erebor Manor, Ori.”

“He was homosexual.”

“But he has descendants,” Ori pointed out. Bilbo rolled his eyes. Honestly, didn’t they teach _anything_ at these so called schools?

“In the middle ages, getting married and having heirs had nothing to do with one’s sexuality,” Bifur said, “And strictly for the sake of bearing children.”

“We’ll probably find out what happened to that wife the more we dig,” the doctor said. “Ah! Nori, has Bofur gotten into the basement yet?”

“Not yet, we may need to blow the door.”

“Absolutely not! Dr. Durin expressly requested that we keep it in its current condition.”

“You know, just because he had a male lover doesn’t expressly mean he was gay,” Ori said. “He could have been bisexual. Or pansexual.”

“Well, it’s our best guess at the moment. He could be demisexual or even asexual for all we know,” Bifur said, patting his shoulder.”

Bilbo turned back to the conversation about the basement. That was more pressing that the rather interesting debate about Thorin’s sexuality. He couldn’t let them into the basement. That would be…unpleasant to say at least. He sort of liked these humans. They were amusing and he’d not been amused in a few decades if not a century or two. At least, not this amused. Still, if they got into the basement before he managed to clear the evidence that…didn’t belong in the eleventh century…He didn’t want to end up killing them to keep himself anonymous, but he would if it came to it.

 _Well, maybe not all of them,_ he thought, sparing Ori another glance.

“Look what if it’s just a small one? Enough to loosen the hinges and get the door off?” Nori asked. “It’s the fastest way to get it off and see what’s in the basement.”

“I don’t know, Nori…”

“Doc, we can’t open it. It’s jammed. The place isn’t in perfect condition anyway. What’s _one_ little explosion?”

 _Enough for me to need to rip throats out_ , Bilbo said.

“I will consult Dr. Durin,” the Doctor said. “But until I have an answer from him, I do _not_ want you or Bofur blowing anything up! I feel dirty even thinking of it. Blow up a millennia old castle…the _nerve_.”

“Well, _technically_ we aren’t blowing up the castle. Just a door.”

“I don’t think that help’s, No,” Ori said.

Bilbo licked his lips and waited for them to leave the room for the midday meal before leaving his perch on the chandelier and heading down to the basement in the form of fog. The funny man with a hat was still there, muttering about rust and the damp, trying to loosen the lock as Bilbo slipped under the cracks in the door and returned to a more corporeal form.

Inside was one corpse—Bilbo wasn’t an idiot. He knew how to get rid of evidence—just starting to rot. He frowned at the need of getting another human to feed on. The human had taking his own life with one of the rusted hooks Bilbo and Thorin used to use to hand their food on. How’d it get it down to begin with?

Bilbo shook his head.

First things first.

Get rid of the evidence. He gathered the corpse and went to the tunnel. It led out of the mountains and Bilbo would give his kill back to the earth. All in all, a six hour exploit there and back. Long, but shorter if he chose a faster mode of transportation on the way back.

By the time he returned, he could hear them upstairs having dinner. He looked around, wondering if they’d be able to tell that the fire he was thinking of starting in here would trick them into believing that it happened a millennium ago—

Wait—

_No, that wouldn’t work. He’d need to be missing for that. I could kidnap him and if he’s drunk enough…_

Bilbo groaned and turned toward an urn. He relaxed and approached it, drawing his fingers down the curve of strong clay. “What do I do, Thorin?” No answer. Of course, there was no answer. Why would there be. Bilbo sighed and lifted the urn.

“Ah-ha!”

Bilbo jumped toward the door, which began to groan loudly as it pushed inward. He set the urn down and pressed against the wall, turning invisible. Bofur stepped inside. “I told you we wouldn’t need to blow it up, Nori! I _told_ you!”

“Well, look at this,” Nori said, “Doesn’t look like a torture chamber. I was expecting more like what you’d find at Bathory’s castle or Dracula’s.”

“Well, it’s got some chains and hooks, see. Mother Mary, I’m getting chills,” Bofur said, shaking visibly. “I wonder what we’ll find down here.”

“Maybe the _lord of Erebor Manor_ ,” Nori said, smirking.

“Maybe, maybe,” Bofur said. His grin died, eyes fixed on the floor. “Nori, that’s wet blood.”

Bilbo groaned.

“What? That’s im—oh my fucking—”

“Not. God,” Bilbo said, coming out of his hiding spot. He seized their foreheads, erasing their memories of the last fifteen minutes. A nice thing about erasing memories is that it comes with a little bit of hypnotism. Very handy. “Go back upstairs and go to sleep. When you wake up, you were exploring the tunnel to see if there were other rooms. Follow your normal morning schedules when you come down, you will be able to open the door. You will find _nothing_ that does not pertain to eras after the early eleventh century.”

He let them leave and sighed, leaning against the wall. That bought him enough time to get room straightened enough. These humans were too much hassle. He looked at the urn again. Thorin would have killed them by now and Bilbo ran his hand through his hair.

“You always were the guns-blazing sort.” _It’s not fair. I don’t think I could love anyone the way I loved you_ , he thought. _And I know this because I had tried._

#

When they entered the basement again, Bofur had the same reaction: shivering, wide smile, even the same words. And Nori acted the same too. They were patted on the back for their success without reverting to dynamite and the team went to work. It was Ori who found Thorin’s urn.

“I think I found our vampire,” he called. Bifur approached and read the inscription.

“Yes, you did!” he exclaimed.

“Wonderful work, Ori,” the Doctor said, approaching. “Now, I wonder if his DNA will match the Durin family’s.”

“Will the castle still be theirs?” Ori asked.

“Oh, I’ve no doubt of that, if there is any contest, it woud be with the state, not other relatives, Thorin and Dis Durin were the only living relatives we could find that bore any resemblance to the portrait we found. I’ve no doubt this is their ancestor, but better to be completely sure.”

The Doctor opened the urn and called for a bag and a scoop. Bilbo dug his nails into his hands to keep from attacking the humans as a tablespoon or two of Thorin’s ashes were taken out of the urn.

“Doctor,” Ori said. “Do you know what the Durins intend to do with the castle?”

“Ah, well, I’m not sure. I think a museum-resort.”

 _A resort?! They want to turn my home into a hotel?!_ Bilbo thought, gnashing his teeth. The Doctor looked at the ash. “Well, we got a bit of bones in there, too. That’s a tooth.”

“It’s a little longer than the average incisor.”

“A genetic trait, I’m sure. Nori, do you have the UV light?”

“On it.”

The battery operated torches were turned off and the room filled with a blue light and the sound of awe. Bilbo would feel quite haughty if he wasn’t still reigning in his anger about the Doctor taking Thorin’s ashes.

“That’s a lot of blood,” Bofur said.

“No shit, Sherlock,” Nori snapped.

Only the Doctor was frowning. “Take some samples, lads, I want to test this.”

“Dr. Grey, what would be the point?” Nori asked. “We _know_ that Mr. Vampire in an Urn over there was a serial killer and cannibal in the early eleventh century. Do we _really_ need a count of how many people he and likely his boy-toy killed?”

“Yeah, this is definitely Dracula and Bathory level. Maybe even Giles de Rais.”

Bilbo almost shivered at that. He remembered de Rais. He was the reason Bilbo almost never wanted to go to France after the fifteenth century. There were some things that even _he_ wouldn’t do. He almost did kill de Rais himself and would have if not for his arrest. Though, he was willing to admit his kill-count was rather high. Whether it was _that_ high, though…

He didn’t know.

“Still, I think it’s best we be thorough.”

“We’ll be here for ages,” Bofur pointed out. “And there’s still so much of the castle to look at before the Durins visit.”

“It’s just the brother. The sister and her children will stay in Gothenburg for now.”

“And he’ll be here when?” Ori asked.

“Next week.”

“There’s definitely too much blood here. It’ll take too long, Dr. Grey.” Bilbo scooted over to him and pressed his finger to the back of the doctor’s neck. He froze.

 _Listen to them_ , he thought. _There’s still so much to do and see here._

“Very well,” Dr. Grey said. “How about, instead, we move up to the next floor? This one has no other rooms?”

“None that we found,” Bofur said. “Just lots and lots of tunnels and chains.”

“Standard dungeon stuff, you know. Just not kinky,” Nori said. “Or maybe it was. Maybe he was into BDSM. I can see a vampire being into some hard core BDSM.”

“In that case, let’s go back upstairs. Once we’ve looked through everything, Ori, can you get a basic layout of the castle? Draw blueprints if we don’t find any?”

“I think so, yeah. I can get started now, if you like.”

“No, I still need your linguistic skills for now.”

“Sure. Let me know.”

“Of course.”

They left the room and Bilbo relaxed sliding to the ground. That was too close. _Way_ too close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth Bathory (or Erzebet Bathore): 1560-1614. AKA The Blood Countess, The Bloody Lady of Csejte. She killed young women across class structure, luring them to her home in the guise of teaching them how to be ladies and killed them. She drank, bathed, and washed her face in their blood believing that it'd help her stay young and beautiful
> 
> Vlad Dracula: 1431-1476. AKA The Impaler. As far as I know, he didn't really have a motive for killing 500-1000 men, women, and children except to for the fun of it and also to instill fear in his subordinates and also his enemies. For someone who claims to be an expert on Vlad, I'm not giving much. He did dip his bread in blood at least once, though...
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR NEXT "VAMPIRE"  
> Giles de Rais: ~1405-1440. AKA Baron de Rais, Giles de Montmorency-Laval, Marshal of France. Best known as a pedophile and serial killer and rapist. He fought beside Joan of Arc in the 100 Years War and began his killings after his retirement from the army. He was tried and hung for his murders. A hanging? Really? I know of a werewolf that got what he deserved and it was WAY more than a hanging...


	3. Chapter 3

http://mentalfloss.com/article/17675/9-castles-i-want-visit

_Predjamski Castle, Inspiration for Erebor Manor_

* * *

 

Thorin got out of the car and shut the door, staring at Erebor Manor with wide eyes and a gaping. Of all the things he imagined, he didn’t think it’d be _built into the mountain’s side_. Though he could admit that it was a rather practical choice, but what did he know about architecture?

He could see the opening of a cave behind the ceiling and turrets. From his research into the manor, he knew it was meant to make it siege-proof. Not that he thought anyone would lay siege to the castle. The walls were white stone and the windows were narrower than he expected.

Still, he wasn’t going to complain about it not being what he first imagined. Why should he? A castle isn’t measured by its size but by how well it protects its family and residents.

“Thorin Durin?”

A man in a grey pinstripe suit met him outside, leaning on a cane and wearing a blue fedora. Thorin approached him, holding his hand out. The man shook it.

“Dr. Grey, I presume?”

“Indeed. I’m glad you found us all right.”

“Yes, well, at least my GPS didn’t lose the damn signal. I had to turn around _twice_ just to get here,” he glared at the car as if it had let him down. Gandalf patted his shoulder.

“Well, missteps are only just. You arrived just in time for dinner. Come on inside and join us.”

“Thank you,” Thorin said, grinning. “Might I ask, what all has been found since we last spoke?”

“Well, we managed to open the basement. And a good thing to. My geologist was getting a little, uh, trigger-happy. Thankfully, my other geologist, who also happens to be a skilled chemist, managed to unhinge it without harming the door. We didn’t find much there, though, save an old stone tub, some chains, hooks, a table, and, of course, your ancestor’s ashes.”

“He was still _there_?”

“Indeed he was. You know that blood sample we asked from you and your sister? It matched. It was not a very high match, but after a thousand years, I think that’s quite normal.”

They entered the castle and if he had been stunned before…

True, the artificial lighting and electrical lights sort of drew away from the beauty of the place a bit, but not by much.

An old chandelier hung from the ceiling, and iron wrought sconces were found every few feet along the walls. The floor was covered in an old carpet leading toward the stairs. Over the carpet was a sheet of plastic and over that was a folding table laden in food with five other men around the table.

“This is amazing. Do you all just spend time in this room like this?”

“Yes, for the most part. It’s easier and we can avoid accidents both to ourselves and the house that way.” Gandalf motioned for him to take a seat at the table with the others. “Thorin this is Bombur, our cook. His brother, Bofur, the chemist I was telling you about. Their cousin, Bifur, and our professional linguist. His protégé, Ori and Ori’s brother, Nori.”

He shook hands with them all and they ate, telling him about the castle so far.

“The basement was _covered_ in blood stains,” Ori said. “It was sick.”

“And finding the ashes was surreal.”

“You get chills just being down there.”

“And when we clean up, we’ll show you some of the graffiti we found.”

“There’s graffiti?!”

“We think a discontent servant did it in retaliation.”

“Well that’s a stupid move,” Thorin chuckled. “Dare I ask?”

“No, no! You have to see if first!”

“It better be good enough to keep!”

“Well you can always take a picture of it with the translation.”

“True.”

#

_“You never tell me about your son,” Bilbo said. “Only that you had one.”_

_Thorin met his gaze for a moment._ _“Well, to be honest, there’s not much to tell. My wife and I weren’t exactly on the best of terms. It was marriage of convenience and nothing else. She bore me a son and that was the end of that. I cared not for her lovers and I entertained my own. But despite that, we both loved him enough to at least be decent parents to him outside our bedrooms.”_

_Bilbo propped his head on his elbow, watching Thorin. Thorin licked his lips._

_“His mother died when he was thirteen and it’s difficult to raise a young boy nearing adulthood. We got along all right, I gave him his space when he needed it, though it pained me that he was pulling away. And then I was reborn and my sire lived here with us for a while._ _Frerin—my son whom I named after my brother—did not like these changes and moved away when he was old enough to leave home. He never came back. My sire was not keen on that and tried to bring him back. It was a rather ugly end. I’ll just leave it at that. And still, despite that, his way of thanking me was demanding I never come near his family again.”_

_Bilbo frowned. “So you weren’t allowed to know your grandchildren?”_

_“No. But I obeyed and kept my distance, though I watched over them through the years. And when Frerin was on his death bed, I went to him and I offered him immortality.”_

_“What did he say—or do I want to know?”_

_“No, I’m actually proud of his decision. He said no, said this wasn’t immortality as far as he could see. Rather he said he didn’t want to be in my place. He told me he didn’t want to watch his own children die too and that I shouldn’t be there to see him dying.”_

_Thorin’s eyes grew glassy and he licked his lips. Bilbo kissed his forehead. “You’re not alone, Thorin. Not anymore, my love.”_

_Thorin closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Bilbo’s waist, hands curling around the fabric of Bilbo’s tunic as Bilbo stroked his hair, gently dragging his fingers through black threads._ _The life vampires lead was often a lonely one, for the sake of self-preservation. Having a family was a risk, usually no one bothered with one save the occasional lover if they could take one._

_“I love you,” Bilbo said. “I’m not going anywhere, Thorin. I promise.”_

He opened his eyes and touched his cheeks. They were wet. Bilbo slid out of bed—sleep wasn’t really something he needed, but still enjoyed when he could take the time—and stretched.

He sniffed.

There was a new smell in the house and Bilbo supposed it was Thorin’s descendant. A part of him was curious of this man who shared his beloved’s name, and he crept closer to the entryway, keeping to the walls and the shadows.

Then he saw him.

It was impossible.

Way too impossible.

No-no-no-no-no, such things only happened in those terrible vampire movies that keep coming out.

_Then again, there was the Bulgarian vampire I met a back in the sixteenth century that actually did find his dead sire…no, get a grip! This is impossible!_

Thorin— _not his Thorin_, Bilbo brutally reminded himself—laughed and ate alongside the others.

_It’s not him. It’s not my Thorin. It can’t be._

But it was the same shade of hair with the streaks of silver.Even the full beard Bilbo used to love running his fingers through as he kissed Thorin— _his_ Thorin. He had the same blue eyes and the same charming smile. And then he spoke and Bilbo covered his mouth, trying to muffle the choked cry, unable to keep back his tears. He thought he had forgotten the sound of it.

He needed to leave. Needed to stay out of their way…this Thorin looked at him and his smile vanished. Could he _see_ him?!

He blinked and Bilbo ducked into the nearest room and turned to smoke, sinking to the basement. Once there, he wept, trying to wrap his mind around what he saw.

Maybe it was a hallucination.

Maybe the man named Thorin who looked like _his_ Thorin just _looked_ like his Thorin and when he got a closer look he’d see differences in his character, his appearance (besides the obvious: shorter hair, modern clothes and accent, living).

Maybe he was starting to lose his mind from the loneliness and isolation.

But no matter what the reason, it wasn’t _him_.

It couldn’t be.

There was nothing left of his Thorin.

Nothing but dust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vampire Trivia: Powers and weaknesses
> 
> There's too many of both. Way too many.
> 
> So, as a general rule for this story, common powers are those that every vampire has. Here, it will namely be superior strength and hypnotism, but also telepathy and mind-reading (mind-reading is usually under certain circumstances)
> 
> And then there's the powers you know from every Dracula movie. Ever.  
> -flight  
> -invisibility  
> -changing from a corporeal form (human) to incorporeal (smoke/smog)  
> -changing from human to animal (wolf or bat are most popular, but who knows. Could be fun to have a vampire that turns into a cat...)
> 
> As for weaknesses, there's lots of those too. For here, we're going with the top three (though there are many more depending on the lore you look at/reference):  
> -Silver (can be fatal, but usually not depending on the organ exposed)  
> -Sunlight (more a hindrance than anything else. Prolonged exposure leads to rapid dehydration and eventual spontaneous combustion)  
> -A stake through the heart (Fatal, a vampire WILL die if staked through the heart)
> 
> Garlic is also a weakness, but it's less to do with having power and more to do with that Vampires have very sensitive noses. And crosses/crucifixes? Silly and very tacky superstition
> 
> With that in mind, Bilbo's powers are on par with Vlad Dracula's and most of the things Vlad was known for, Bilbo can do.


	4. Chapter 4

Ori was usually found on various levels of the castle, redrawing blueprints. For a while, he was usually found down in the basement, blasting music into his ears as he drew them. Usually his brother would bring him food and drag him to bed.

Thorin and Bofur found the attic, which was filled with what they thought might be mementos.

One was a portrait of the lord.

“God, for someone who’s DNA doesn’t match completely you look a lot like him,” Bofur said. Thorin had to agree. It was almost like looking in a mirror. The only difference between Thorin and this portrait, as far as he could tell, was the stern gaze. Bofur moved off to another part of the attic, pulling the linen off whatever he could find. “Hey, Thorin, you’ll want to see this one to. I think this might be his lover.”

“Are you sure?” Thorin asked, approaching him.

“Well, it’s a man, and unless you’ve blonds in your family…”

“Only my nephew and his father was blond. As far as I know, I’m related to more redheads than I am blonds.” He took a look at the portrait. The man didn’t look like anyone he knew, or, well, no one he knew looked like him. His hair was wavy blond, his grey eyes held a glint of amusement, and there was a slight curl of a smile on his lips.

_The man I thought I saw last night…didn’t he have the same eyes?_

Thorin scratched his head and dismissed it. It was likely just the altitude. He wasn’t used to being this high. Maybe it was messing with his perception. He’d adjust eventually if he hadn’t already.

“He’s a handsome fellow, isn’t he?” Bofur asked.

Thorin chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Still thinking it’s not his lover.”

“Not thinking that anymore. Is there a name somewhere?”

“Don’t know. We’ll take them downstairs and have Bifur and Ori see if they can find any inscriptions. What do you think?”

“Of him or in general?”

“Either,” Bofur said grinning. Thorin blushed. _Damn it, Thorin_. Bofur laughed. “Don’t be embarrassed. No one here cares. Ori and Nori have an older brother who’s gay—”

“Demisexual homoromantic,” Ori snapped, entering the attic. “Can you _not_ talk about my brother’s sexuality while we’re working?”

“But Thorin was about to tell me how much he wished this bloke was still alive.”

“He might have his own descendants,” Thorin said.

“But what would be the chance of them being cute blonds with pretty eyes willing to boink you?” 

Ori sighed and picked up the portrait of the previous lord. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were his reincarnation.” Bofur laughed and Thorin scowled. “As it is, it’s likely his DNA’s just more prominent with you or something.”

“Maybe,” Thorin agreed, “I’ll see what else there is.”

“Sure,” Bofur said.

“Don’t stay up here too long,” Ori said, smirking, “Wouldn’t want you to get locked in on accident.”

“That’s not funny,” Thorin snapped.

“Ignore him. Nori and Ori are assholes.”

“Hey!”

“I’m not the one who decided it was appropriate to try and scare the new owner.”

“I was _kidding_.”

Their voices faded the further they went and Thorin pulled off more linen sheets, folding them up and trying not to cough from the dust. One of the pictures was of the lord and his lover. It was the blond without a doubt. Unlike their portraits, this one held a sort of gentleness that he did not sense from the previous ones. The lord’s arms were wrapped around his lover’s waist and his chin rested on top of the blond curls. The unnamed lover’s hands rested on top of the lord’s.

Did the lover know of his lord’s past time? Did he know he was in love with a murderer? For some reason, the thought that the blond man didn’t know felt painful. He huffed, called himself a melodramatic fool, and took it down stairs. When he saw the pictures together, he decided he was wrong.

The lover knew.

There was just something about the way he looked in his own portrait that made shivers crawl up Thorin’s spine and not good ones.

Maybe they were in it together.

And yet…

Well, everyone lived a double life of some sort.

“Here’s a name,” Ori said. “Wilkin…what? Bifur, am I reading that right?”

“Why?” Bofur asked. “Something wrong?”

“Wilkin’s an English name, not a Slavic one,” Thorin said.

“People traveled then just as much as we did,” Bifur said. “It’s possible he was traveled to Scandinavia, met, and fell in love with Oakenshield—to keep ourselves from confusing our guest and his ancestor, we’ll address him by his epithet.”

“Good idea,” Thorin said. “You know, this is a rare portrait,” he pointed to the third. The others hummed their agreement and Ori peered at it.

“Most portraits of lovers from that era—mind, those were mostly heterosexual lovers—weren’t even this close when getting a portrait together. Minimal touching, save for their hands and they’d never stand this close. I don’t know. It’s rather…surreal to see a homosexual couple doing what others would not dare to.”

“I take it you have a conclusion to your narrative?” Nori asked. Ori glared at him.

“They weren’t afraid to be open about their relationship, for one. They may even have flaunted it. And no, before you ask, I don’t think that’s what got Oakenshield killed, but I don’t think it helped either. I think he was executed and Wilkin might’ve gathered the ashes, which normally would have been scattered. _He_ put them in the urn. _He_ put them in the basement. And I think that’s as far as we’ll get from these portraits. Of course, it’s just a hypothesis for now.”

“And a rather astute one,” Gandalf said. He looked at Thorin. “Anything you would like to expand on, Thorin?” Thorin shook his head.

“Not at this moment,” he said. “Except, would it be possible to guess they were also partners-in-crime? I just get the feeling that Wilkin knew about what Oakenshield was doing.”

“Oh, it’s _very_ likely. I would not be surprised if we find that Wilkin had a bit of a dark side himself. Let’s put these aside for now and pack them up to be cleaned after lunch.”

#

Bilbo would admit that the humans were perceptive, but damn it, he wanted to just show up and smack them around a bit. He _hated_ being called Wilkin (Wilkin Robert Baggins…ugh…Thorin was the one who named him Bilbo which wasn’t _much_ better, but he’d rather be Bilbo than Wilkin, thank you very much). That they got his name wrong was not their fault. To think that his relationship with Thorin had anything to do with his death—albeit indirectly—was silly.

Still, he resisted the urge to come out of hiding and tell them what they wanted to know. It was harder to resist the desire to sneak up behind Thorin and wrap his arms around his waist. Reminding himself that it was not his Thorin helped. He’d forgotten about those portraits since he never went to the attic anymore. Not since after Thorin’s death.

“I never understood how people could kill,” Thorin said. “But at the same time, I don’t understand how anyone could love someone who takes lives for fun.”

 _Fun?_ Bilbo dug his fingers into his sleeve. _We killed because we had to. We killed because it was the only way we could live._

“I think all of us wonder that,” Grey said. “But we don’t know what prompted Oakenshield to start killing in the first place. I’m sure we’ll find evidence of what led him on his path sooner or later. Oh! Bombur! What’s for lunch today?”

Thorin helped carry the portraits over to the wall and Bilbo crept closer. Here was his chance to find some difference between the ancestor and the descendant. Thorin turned to him, eyes looking around frantically. Bilbo touched his shoulder.  _Relax. You sense nothing. The castle’s old and it’s going to do things that old buildings do. Like creak. It’s just your imagination_. Thorin blinked and rubbed the back of his neck and smiling in a self-deprecating way.

“Get a grip, Durin.”

He went to the table and Bilbo clicked his tongue, wondering what he was going to do about this. Physically, there was very little difference. This Thorin _might_ be a little shorter, but not by much.

Aside from that…

Bilbo needed an outside opinion. The only problem with that would be that…well…an outside opinion meant going to Trondheim and he didn’t like the idea of leaving his castle in the humans’ hands. Thank whatever existentially impossible being, that might be listening, for cell phones.

Bilbo went upstairs and entered his room, before calling Smaug.

 _Damn halfer better pick up_.

“ _Norwegian Museum of Cultural History_ ,” a woman said. “ _How may I direct your call?_ ”

“I need to speak with Smaug.”

“ _Mr. Smaug is in a meeting._ ”

“Pull him out and tell him it’s Baggins,” Bilbo growled. _Humans_.

“ _He’ll be right with you._ ”

A few moments later, he heard Smaug’s voice.

“ _This better be worth my time,_ ” Smaug said.

“I have humans in my house—laugh if you want to, Dragon,” Bilbo snapped, hearing Smaug snort. Of course it wouldn’t seem funny to him. Bilbo normally would have killed intruders by now. “But one of them interests me.”

“ _Then turn him. Or her. I don’t care._ ”

“He looks like Thorin.”

Silence. “ _Oh_.”

“Goes by the same name, Thorin Durin, hails from Gothenburg.”

“ _I’ll look into it and get back to you. Want me to scare them off?_ ”

“No, not yet. I can handle a few humans. Besides, it may be time to let the world know about Thorin.”

“ _Or you, you mean. Most of those kills are yours, Bilbo._ ”

 “I don’t care for fame, Smaug. Just look into him for me, all right?”

“ _Invite me to dinner when you have the chance._ ”

“You can’t drink blood, halfer.”

“ _Unlike someone I hold a rather nice position. I think I deserve a little respect, don’t you think, Vampire?_ ”

“If you look out the window, you’ll see all the fucks I give, you brat.”

“ _Goodness, someone’s not in a good mood. I’d love to chat, but I do have to get back to work. Try not to kill anyone if you can, though I won’t blame you if you do._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is possible for vampires and humans to mate since vampires were human once. Such relationships are considered taboo for vampires, as its seen as playing with food in some ways. Others just think humans are beneath them and see no point in engaging in relationships with one unless they decide to turn a human into a vampire first, which is completely acceptable. 
> 
> If a child is successfully conceived and born, it's treated as a bastard in both human and vampire communities and are called half-ones by the vampires or the more derogatory "halfer"
> 
> Smaug and Azog are Half-Ones. Half-Ones inherit their vampire parent's powers and sometimes bloodlust, but are human and are easier to kill than vampires, but also have less weaknesses than humans. Silver doesn't hurt them and neither does daylight. Most of them became vampire hunters (like Azog), and others found a way to be more like vampires, usually called "dragons" (like Smaug), who are pretty much guard dogs and servants, but are very volatile since the way they become dragons is by killing a vampire and inhaling their ashes.


	5. Chapter 5

Thorin isn't sure what to expect when the letters are found. True, there was some doubt about them being letters, but they would find out sooner or later if they were while Ori and Bifur translated them. As far as they knew, they found letters. Either way, he felt anxious.

What would they find? What would the stack of parchment reveal? The more Ori and Bifur worked, the less they would say on the subject matter.

"I'll say this, though," Ori said with a bright red face. "Some of it is rather explicit. It's...not what Bifur or I expected to find. But he thinks he found the first letter. Or so he says."

"That's interesting," Thorin said. "Can you tell me a little more?"

"No. You'll just have to wait."

Besides that, he and Gandalf worked on a restoration plan together, trying to figure out how they would renovate the castle to better suit a hotel and museum.

The advertising part was not Thorin's forte and he wasn't shy to admit it. Advertising was more Dis' thing than his.

"There should be no worry," Gandalf said. "For you, Thorin, the only thing you might need to worry about is whether or not you look pretty. Trust me, I doubt that will be a hard feat."

Thorin glared at that. He might look "pretty" but his attitude on normal days where he wasn't exploring vampire castles was closer to sour. His boss did not help. Dr. Lasgalen was vindictive, petty, and cruel when it suited him. Thorin didn't know how many times he had kept watch for his son so the boy wouldn't come out of the closet in an unfortunate way. The man was just brutal.

That aside, he sometimes thought he saw Wilkin. The man seemed to have imprinted himself into Thorin's brain. He'd be minding his own business when he spotted Wilkin walking about and then disappear as if he were an apparition.

Thorin supposed the mountain air was getting to him. That and lack of sleep. Who knew what he saw these days. Sleeping in bags and struggling to stay awake had certainly been affecting him somehow. Especially if he thought he was seeing a beautiful dead man who likely had no descendants.

Besides that, everything was wonderful.

And at last, the translations were done and they were to be analyzed after lunch. Thorin called Dis and her sons to let them know he was still alive, went back inside and spied Wilkin's ghost again. He blinked and he was gone.

Thorin sighed and went to eat. Maybe he should talk to Gandalf about what he was seeing. He hated to think he was crazy, but seeing Wilkin was starting to be such a non-surprise, he wondered if he was going mad.

"Just so you know," Bifur said, There's some porn in this."

He waved the stapled pages in his hand, earning a few guffaws from the group.

"And he's making me read the damn thing," Ori muttered. Only Nori seemed bothered by that while Bofur wolf-whistled. Ori sent him rather rude gesture involving a finger and took the papers.

He cleared his throat and began to read.

_#_

My dear Bilbo,

I know what I am frightens you. I only wish you would give me a chance to explain myself, my love. Hurting you was never my intention and yet I have hurt you again.

Please, Bilbo, let me explain why I did what I have done.

 I love you with all my heart and I miss our talks. No, that is not quite right. I miss you, my love. I miss spending time with you and seeing the light shine in your eyes. Please do not shun me, Bilbo.

Talk to me.

With all my heart,

Thorin

Thorin,

Have you any idea what you have done to me? No. I suppose you wouldn't understand how what you have done was unforgivable. What you did...

I can't even bear to think of it.

You have killed me. That is not what people who love each other do. How can you expect me to ever trust you again?

I wish I had never met you.

I want to hate you right now. I really want to hate you, Thorin.

For what it’s worth, I want to go home because if I stay, I am afraid I might forgive you. I would rather never see you again and I wish we never met. I wish you had not decided that I was whom you want. It makes no sense to me at all. All I want to do is go home.

Bilbo

My love,

Please forgive me. I saw no other way and likely had no other choice. If I could make another choice...I don't know what I would do.

You were dying, Beloved. What other option was open to me? I was going to lose you, Bilbo. I could not bear the thought of losing you just as I had found you.

I do not regret my choice. I only pray you will forgive me one day. We could be great together, if you could find it in your heart to forgive me...

_#_

Ori stopped reading and turned to Bifur. "Are you sure this is..."

"My speech may be off, but my work is not. I translated it correctly. So did you, Ori. I didn't make any mistakes."

Thorin thought it had only created more questions.

What was Wilkin--for that must be whom Bilbo is--dying of? What did Oakenshield do that was so terrible to save the love of his life?

The letters he wrote seemed to cut at Thorin, as if he knew how heartbroken, could feel his hurt as Bilbo refused to see him for committing a crime be felt he had to commit if it meant saving him. He couldn't help but think that Bilbo had been rather ungrateful toward Oakenshield’s sacrifice. It made him want to know more.

So much more.

He glanced at the Byzantine painting of the lovers whose lives they were uncovering. Was that before or after? What of the portraits?

Thorin was desperate to know the truth. Yet it seemed he only had more questions about his ancestor and his lover.

And, of course, there was the apparition he kept seeing.

He spied it leaning against the wall. He blinked, but it remained. While Ori and Bifur debated the translation in the corner, and while Bifur and Nori spoke quietly with Gandalf about whatever the hell they spoke to each other about, Thorin stood and approached the ghost, who, unless he was mistaken, was weeping.

Its shoulders shook and the closer Thorin got, the more he noticed that it did not look anything like a ghost. At least not in the way he assumed a ghost would look. Thorin swallowed and touched the apparition’s shoulder.

It was warm.

It lived.

And it turned around, clearly startled, before turning into smoke and vanishing between the cracks. Thorin stood there, stunned. The man was definitely Bilbo. But how was it he could touch him? Was it a descendant, like Thorin?

Or…

_This is madness…_

_If he’s a descendant then why not make himself known?_

Thorin went back downstairs and, sparing a moment’s glance at the others, he went down to the basement, a torch in hand. He could hear screaming inside. It was angry and it cut him to the core though he didn’t understand a word said.

The door opened and he saw the man again, talking on a phone. The door banged shut and Thorin was rammed into the wall, banging his head against the stone and a hand around his throat. He barely stood off the ground, and while the man didn’t look it, he was extremely strong. He tried prying the hand off, but it tightened around his throat, cutting his airway off.

“Stop struggling if you want to keep your head on your neck.” The threat sounded strange on the man’s tongue. His voice was like a song, melodious and soft. Thorin stopped, but he didn’t let go of the wrist. The man let go and backed away. “How is it you saw me? You shouldn’t have been able to.”

“I always…everyone else didn’t notice you,” he rasped, massaging his throat. The man paced almost like a predator sizing up prey. “What—” Thorin cut himself off. Asking a person _what are you_ can be insulting and even if this man wasn’t actually…human…he wasn’t about to risk impoliteness. “Who are you?”

“You know the answer to that,” he said. “Deep down, you know.”

“But he is dead.”

The man arched a brow, smirking. Amber-gold curls glimmered in the dull light, making his pale face seem more surreal than it already was.

“Ask a different question. How about your first question: you were going to ask _what_ I am. That is where everything you know may very well fall apart and make you question reality.” Thorin remained silent, still massaging his throat. “Go ahead,” the man said, “Ask.”

“What are you?”

“My kind has many names. Nosfuratu, Alp, Strigoi, Jiang Shi, and many more. But more commonly, we are simply called vampires.”

Thorin stared at him for a moment before laughing. “Uh, okay. Vampires. That’s new. Are you one of the archeologists? Did they set up some joke to play on me or…you’re serious?”

“Very,” he said. “I was like you, once. I didn’t buy into the superstitions of others, though they always fascinated me.”

“You’re insane.”

“You saw what I could do. You know my strength.” The man knelt, balanced on the balls of his feet. “Do I need to eat you in order to make you believe me?” He bore long incisors at Thorin, who pressed further against the wall. The man backed away, suddenly seeming so broken. “Do what you will with the place. Just don’t force me to leave. The basement is mine and mine alone, all right? Let me keep this. You’ll hardly know I’m here.”

“I don’t know who you are but this castle—”

“Belongs to your family, I know. But it is my home and has been for a millennia.”

“You’re saying that you’re—no! This is insane!” Thorin jumped to his feet. “The man you say you are is dead! There is _no possible way_ that he’d still be here! Even if I were to believe you.”

“I know. Like I said, I didn’t believe either. Then I fell in love and you can see where loving a vampire gets you.” He held his arms out. “Think about it. There’s still time to do that at least.”

He seized the torch and broke it in half, engulfing Thorin in darkness. Thorin cried out at first, startled. He looked for the door, scaling the wall with his hands. Once found, he pried it open and used his hands and his hearing to find his way back.

“There you are.”

“Are you okay, Thorin? You look spooked.”

“You’re shivering. Someone get a blanket.”

Gandalf took his face in his hands. “What did you see?” he whispered. “Is he here? Is Bilbo here?”

“You know him?”

Gandalf stood. “Where’s that blanket? Oh, thank you, Bifur.” The warm cloth was placed on Thorin’s shoulders. “Your disappearing act frightened everyone, Thorin. What adventure did you find?”

“My torch burned out,” he said. “Got lost in the dark. I just wanted to see the basement again. See if there was something we missed.” Gandalf hummed, arching a brow.

Food was brought to Thorin and as he ate, thoughts swirled like a maelstrom in his head. There was a man living in the castle. He thought he was a vampire. Gandalf knew about him.

How did Gandalf know?!


	6. Chapter 6

He did not see Bilbo again and Gandalf did not broach the subject since Thorin’s last venture downstairs. There was no sign of his broken torch anywhere and while the others were skeptical, Gandalf called them off, leaving Thorin feeling rather cross with them.

Ori and Bifur continued the debate over the letters found, Nori and Bofur continued exploring new levels and rooms in the castle, and Thorin was left to find contractors to come up and assess how to make the castle inhabitable.

He stood outside on a balcony facing the forest in the north with his phone pressed to his ear.

The reception was slightly better out here and so far he hadn’t had any issues.

Which he counted good.

“ _Will you be coming home soon?_ ” Dis asked. “ _The boys miss you and are curious to know what you found out about Erebor._ ”

“Honestly, I think they’ll love it and I have some pictures for them. I know it’s not the same, but it’s so cold here most of the time, I think they’ll appreciate being left at home. They’d be miserable here if they were to come see it with their own eyes.”

Dis laughed. “ _So the bear-pelt blankets aren’t available, hmm?_ ”

“If there are any, they’re likely in poor shape,” Thorin admitted, grinning. “We’re just about done here and I’m trying to find a contractor to help me fix it up.”

“ _Why not just ask Dwalin?_ ”

“I would ask him, but he would do it for free.”

“ _It wouldn’t be free._ ”

That was true.

Dwalin wouldn’t take on _anything_ for free. He’d probably up sell Thorin instead simply because of the location and time…he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“ _Think of it this way, you know his work, you know he can do the job. He’s been wanting to see the castle himself and is still angry you left without him. Why not let him be a part of renovating Erebor Manor into Erebor Resort and Museum?_ ”

“We’re still wondering what to call it, hm?”

“ _Apart from keeping it’s original name? Yes._ ”

“That’s fine. We won’t be opening anytime soon as it is. Fine, I’ll call Dwalin.”

“ _Oh, you won’t have to. He should be there any day now._ ”

“What?”

“ _You know him better than I do. Are you even remotely surprised?_ ”

Thorin slumped his shoulders and sighed. “No.”

“ _I didn’t think so. So you won’t be home any time soon?_ ”

“I doubt it, Dis. I’ll try to come back home soon, though.”

“ _So long as it’s before Kili’s birthday. He’s getting scared you won’t be there_.”

“What?” Thorin felt offended. Miss his nephews’ birthdays? Fuck no! He never missed it before. Nothing was going to stop him from attending them yet. “When have I ever…is he there? Put the booger on the phone right now.”

Dis was laughing as she called for Kili to come downstairs.

After a chat with him and a promise to be there in two weeks for the party—he wasn’t sure if he could spare longer than a few days, but Kili was assured that even if he could only come to the party for a little bit it would be enough—and more promises to keep safe and that Thorin indeed missed him and the rest of the family, he was told that Fili wanted a few words as well and the phone was passed to his eldest nephew.

“ _So is he a vampire? The last owner_?”

“So far, we think he was,” Thorin said. “There’s a lot of blood spatter dating back to the middle ages, so I wouldn’t fret about retracting whatever you told your friends.” He turned around and leaned against the banister and his grin died.

Bilbo stood in the doorway, watching him. He arched a brow at Thorin.

“ _Cool,_ ” Fili said. “ _You’re coming home soon, right?_ ”

“Yes, Fili, I’m coming down for Kili’s birthday, but then I’ll have to come back up because it’s a really bad idea leaving Dwalin here alone.”

“ _Whatever, Thorin_ ,” Fili said. “ _I think Mom wants to talk to you a bit more before letting you go. Is there a torture chamber?_ ”

“We found the basement, there’s hooks and stuff, but beyond that, no torture chamber.”

“ _Well at least you know where he kept his victims._ ”

“I worry about you.”

“ _I know_ ,” Fili said. “ _Here’s Mom._ ”

“I need to speak with you,” Bilbo said.

Thorin covered the mouthpiece. “It can wait,” he said.

Bilbo crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, staring at Thorin as he finished the call with his family. At last with a _take care of yourself_ and a _you too_ , he hung up and turned to Bilbo as he stuffed the phone in his pocket.

“What? Going to tell me the truth now?”

“I already did,” he said, stepping closer. “I have an informant in Oslo who looked into you. For someone who is centuries apart, you look far too much like him.”

“Like who? Oakenshield? It’s probably a family thing. It happens.”

“So it’s a coincidence that you look exactly like your great-grandfather? And that he looked like his great-grandfather and thus far that every four generations there is a man in your family who looks _exactly_ like my Thorin?”

“That’s not possible.”

“That _you_ are here is impossible! I know he was married before, that he had a child who had children of his own, but _you_ …you’re very existence doesn’t make sense to me! No one, not after separated so far, could possibly look this similar to someone they never met nor known. I am old, but I am not uneducated. I know how genetics work. You should _not_ look anything like him. You shouldn’t even _bear his name_!”

Thorin crossed his arms. “I’m sorry that the way I look and my name offends you. I can’t help either.”

“I am not offended,” Bilbo said, “Just very confused at how you can _possibly_ be here.”

“I’m here because the castle belongs to my family and I have a right to be here.”

“But would you be here if the castle was not found? If the original owner’s identity was not discovered? Would you then be here?”

Thorin shrugged. He likely wouldn’t be here if not for Gandalf finding him.

“I likely wouldn’t be. Why would it matter? He’s dead. I am _not_ him, so don’t convince yourself that I am. I won’t make you leave, if that’s what you’re worried about, but I’m not who you want me to be.”

That said, he made his way back inside.

Thorin stopped and looked at him again. “Do you know Gandalf Grey?”

Bilbo turned around. “No. Why?”

“He asked me if you were here after our first…talk.”

“I do not know him.”

“Then how does he know of you?”

“I don’t know. I’m not exactly one of the famous ones though I have lived twice their time.”

“And bested all their kills combined.”

“I never made it into popular media,” Bilbo said, shrugging. “I must have done something right.” Thorin glared at him. “What? It’s difficult to live this long without getting noticed. Most last a couple years. Some a couple centuries if they’re really lucky.”

“So what are you? A vampire god?”

“I wouldn’t go that far. I’m just more careful than others have been, I suppose. My victims are people you’ll never miss.”

“Either way, Gandalf knew you were here. I don’t know who he is or what he wants from you, but you might want to know.”

“I do,” Bilbo said. “But I am less concerned about that than I am about your existence.”

“Why?” Thorin asked. “I have no answers for you. You could just let it go and leave me alone. What difference would it make?”

“All the difference,” Bilbo said. “If you are him—”

“I’m not.”

“Well, it wouldn’t matter. I don’t know what I’d do. Would I turn you? Would I let you go because you probably never will remember? I honestly do _not_ know. All I know is that this life is lonely and there are days that physically hurt because he is gone.”

“It’s been a thousand years, hasn’t it? You could have found anyone else.”

“I _tried_. I have tried that time and time again. No one could come close to him. Not one.”

Thorin ran his hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry, but what do you want me to do? I’m not him. I can’t give you what you want, even if I knew what that was.”

Bilbo nodded, crossing his arms. “I understand.”

He vanished and Thorin went downstairs with a heavy heart. He’d seen loneliness before and he couldn’t imagine what being alone, unsatisfied with any relationship and always stretching for an impossible ideal must be like. If Bilbo wasn’t a figment of his imagination, then, well—and was he? Or wasn’t he? Thorin didn’t know anymore—Thorin hadn’t a clue how to help him.

#

_He dragged his nails through Bilbo’s hair, legs wrapped around his waist as Bilbo fucked him and lapped at the wound on his neck. He arched his back, screaming his release. Bilbo pushed himself up on his hands, thrusting violently._

_“I love you…” Bilbo whispered. “Thorin…”_

He woke up, covered in sweat, shivering.

His entire body was wracked in tremors and it was difficult to stand. As if the fear he felt wasn’t enough, Thorin was crying.

The whole experience he felt enraged him. Since when did anyone wake from a wet dream feeling scared? First of all, he wasn’t scared of Bilbo. Bilbo couldn’t be real after all. Right? He supposed he only thought he heard Gandalf ask about Bilbo.

It made more sense than the whole vampires-are-real schtick.

_But why did it feel so real?_


	7. Chapter 7

Bilbo entered the museum and took off his jacket, setting it over the crook of his arm. The receptionists watched him warily as he passed by. He made his way toward Smaug’s office. “Sir? Sir, you’re not allowed back there,” a guard said.

Bilbo stopped and turned to him, smiling. “I’m quite sure I am,” he said, handing him an identification card. The guard glanced at it. “Baggins?”

“Mr. Smaug considers me a valued patron of the museum, you see. If there is still a problem with my going there, I’m sure he’d be willing to set the record straight.” The guard stared at him before pulling his radio out from his belt and called Smaug. No more than a minute passed before Smaug stepped out, beaming.

“Mr. Baggins, it is good to see you after all this time,” he said. “I didn’t expect you to come down from Trondheim.” _Ever_.

Bilbo shrugged. “I figured I’d see exactly what I invest into. Seems silly to be part of something and not take advantage of it,” he said.

“Well, let me give you a tour of the museum then,” Smaug said, motioning for Bilbo to follow. Once they were out of the line of sight and hearing of the others, Smaug dropped the friendly façade. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“What more did you find out about him?”

“What’s more to tell? He’s clean and he’s a good man. He’s a dedicated uncle as well, last large purchase was a plane ticket back home for a couple days and then he’ll return to Erebor.”

“He’s going to his nephew’s birthday party,” Bilbo said. Smaug arched a brow and Bilbo clicked his tongue. “I overheard him speaking with his sister about it. I hadn’t the heart to interrupt till a little while later. Smaug, it can’t be him.”

“Every four generations, he is born to a descendant of some sort. None of them, as far as I could tell, remembered. But I’m certain that he’s been trying to find you, unsuccessfully.”

Bilbo shook his head. “That’s impossible.”

“You said it happened before.”

“Yes, once. As far as I can tell, it only happened once. It’s a fucking movie trope.”

“Then how do you explain his presence? He may not have his memories, he may be human, but it _is_ him. You know that.”

“But it can’t be.”

“Shouldn’t you be at the castle making sure they don’t break anything?”

“They’re archeologists. They’re always more sensible than most humans. At least in some ways,” he said. “Speaking of, look into Gandalf Grey for me.”

“Gladly. Is that all?”

Bilbo hummed. “You’re certain that this Thorin is the same Thorin I loved?”

“The era is different, so there are distinct differences in his mannerisms that are strictly cultural, but it is him, I promise. He sees you, even when you’re invisible, right?” Bilbo nodded. “Then why not have faith that he’s here for you, even though he doesn’t know that?”

“Because it’s impossible!”

“But here he is. He is within your grasp. Bilbo,” Smaug took his shoulders. “You know how to help him remember.”

Bilbo blinked and looked up, meeting Smaug’s eyes. “I will not do that unless I have no choice. Not to him.”

“You were thinking of doing it to one of the archeologists before.”

“And if it doesn’t work? What then? I remember when I was turned and I remember what it was like. I was furious with Thorin!”

“This man knows what you are when you at first did not know what Thorin was. Many of us know the story. You forgave him. Was your love for him not stronger than before after you accepted what you are?” Smaug asked. “It was an unjust end, but not all ends are actually endings. Sometimes, they’re beginnings of a new tale. You still love him. He’s _fascinated_ with you. I promise it is him. Turn him and be happy again.”

Bilbo blinked. “Happy?”

“It’s been a long time since you’ve known it. But such things, they never truly go away.”

He swallowed. “When I have no doubt, then I might consider making him one of us. For now, he’s just one of Thorin’s descendants, who just so happens to look exactly like him. I won’t turn him. I won’t make him one of us until I am _absolutely_ certain that he is my beloved. Is that clear?”

“Chrystal.”

“I’ll be in touch. Thank you for the tour. You run the museum wonderfully.” With that Bilbo strode out of the building and into an alley, hoping to find a lost soul no one would worry about.

Someone no one would miss.

#

Thorin unlocked the door and stepped into the house. “Hello? Dis?”

“In the kitchen.”

“Uncle Thorin!!” Kili shouted, running down the stairs and pummeled into him. Thorin feigned being winded before lifting Kili off the ground and over his shoulder. Dis stepped out of the kitchen, drying her hands, and arched a brow.

“Have you seen Kili? He seems to have disappeared.” Over his shoulder, Kili giggled.

“Welcome home,” she said. “Fili’s at the library, before you ask, and lunch is served.”

“There’s enough for me? I thought you said I was earlier than expected.”

“You are. That doesn’t mean that I can’t give you last night’s leftovers.”

“Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

“You two aren’t allowed to fight,” Kili said as authoritatively as a six year old could.

“You are absolutely right,” Thorin said. “Sorry, Dis.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

They weren’t, but the problem of having two generations of siblings in the same house ended up being that there’d be twice the snark and twice as much trouble.

On the one, there was Fili and Kili, the younger set, two brothers, and as brothers are sometimes wont, they fight. Rather violently. As for Thorin and Dis, the older pair of siblings, their fights usually resulted in puerile name calling in an affectionate/pseudo-affectionate way.

The result: a no-fighting rule was put in place.

Thorin and Dis usually enforced it, but when they forgot they weren’t alone, they usually got caught in one of their fights and made it a point to apologize after. Even if they weren’t actually sincere, they made a point to pretend to be.

Right now was such a case. They weren’t really fighting, after all. Thorin set him down.

“Is the castle big?” Kili asked.

“Very big,” he said. “And it’s in a bigger cave.”

“Can we explore?”

“Once it’s safe to, sure.”

“Do you have to go back?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so. Can’t let Dwalin break it down before I get there. Right now, the archeology team is keeping an eye on him. But I’m here all weekend.”

“Are there theme parks?”

“Oslo’s south of where the castle is and there’s theme parks there. I haven’t had the chance to check elsewhere. There may be something closer.”

“Get back to me on that.”

“I will.” Dis set a plate in front of him. “You are my savior.”

“I know.”

“Fili says there’s a vampire in the castle,” Kili said.

Dis groaned and Thorin focused on chewing. He didn’t like lying to his family and it was easier to do so when they were separated. He shook his head. “There are no vampires in the castle,” he said. “But it belonged to someone who people would call a vampire. He died a very long time ago. It’s completely safe.”

Dis narrowed her eyes at him.

And that was why he hated lying. To Kili and Fili, it was okay. He never lied unless it was to protect them, but Dis…she was smarter. She knew him well enough to tell when he was lying. He was sure she’d not believe him if he told her about Bilbo.

Thankfully, he didn’t know if this was true or not.

“When’s Fili coming back?”

“Should be home before dinner,” she said before taking a massive bite out of her sandwich.

Another benefit: she didn’t give a fuck about being “ladylike” around her children or brother. The result was that Fili and Kili didn’t buy into the fake actions and attitudes girls imposed on themselves.

After lunch, Kili went to gather his football while Thorin and Dis did the dishes.

“What are you hiding?”

“It’s nothing. I’ve been…seeing things. A man that disappears. I’m keeping it together, I promise.”

“And if it’s what happened to grandpa? What then?”

“I will get help before then. I swear. If it gets worse, I will arrange an appointment, but right now, it’s just a hallucination. It’s likely the altitude.” She scoffed. “Dis. I swear. I’m fine. It’s nothing I can’t handle, okay? Dwalin’s there, too. I’ll let him know as soon as I’m back.”

“You will?”

“I will.”

“I’ll call him. Make sure you did tell him.”

“I’ll tell him.”

“I am not kidding.”

“I know you aren’t,” he said, putting the last dish in the dish rack. “I will take care of it. In the meantime, how about we just get the house ready for Kili’s birthday tomorrow. I don’t want to think about what’s wrong up in here,” he pointed at his head. “I really don’t. Can I just spend time with my family?”

Dis crossed her arms. “All right. But be careful.”

“Always,” he promised, grinning.


	8. Chapter 8

_He held a cloth handkerchief to his mouth, coughing. He looked so withered and weak and it hurt to watch. He sat on the edge of the bed and took the other’s hand._

_“Frerin,” he said. “My darling lad.”_

_Frerin looked at him. “Father, why are you—I told you—”_

_“I was not seen by your children or wife,” he said. “I swear it. I heard you were dying.”_

_Frerin held the cloth out, showing the blood staining it. “Is that all?”_

_“I can save you.”_

_“You mean make me a vampire.”_

_Thorin smiled. “Can you blame me? Regardless what I am, you are still my son and I love you.”_

_“I know, Father. And I know you think you’re being selfless—”_

_“Far from it.”_

_“I don’t want to stand where you are right now watching my own children fade away in ten or twenty years. I don’t want to see them bedridden and weak.”_

_“So you ask that I bury you.”_

_“I don’t think you’ll be covering those expenses,” Frerin said. Thorin closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Father, I know you didn’t ask to be a monster. I know you didn’t ask to be a killer like he made you.”_

_“It doesn’t matter, Frerin. I am what I am. I am not ashamed.”_

_“Neither am I. I don’t like it. I never have. But I was never ashamed of being a son of Thorin Oakenshield.” Thorin looked at him._

_“Erebor will always be open to your descendants, as is their birthright.”_

_“And who would want to live in a vampire’s castle?”_

“It’s my birthday!!!” Kili squealed, running out of his room and into Thorin’s. “Uncle Thorin, get up!” he said, climbing on the bed and jumping up and down.

Thorin groaned. “Kili you’re too old for this.”

“But I’m seven!”

 _That’s exactly what makes you too old for this_ , he thought, sitting up and catching his hyperactive nephew around the waist. “What’s the plan for the day? We have a lot of work to do before your friends come down.”

“Breakfast first.”

“Uh-huh,” Thorin said, getting out of bed and carrying Kili over his shoulder, “Then what?”

“We pick up the pastries and come home.”

“Then?”

“Then we help Mom get the house ready.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Thorin said. He dropped Kili off in front of the bathroom. “But you need to take a shower first. What do you want for breakfast?”

“Crisp bread with ham and tomatoes,” Kili said.

“All right, go wash up and it’ll be ready for you when you’re dressed.” Kili entered the bathroom and Thorin almost bumped into Dis.

“You look haggard.”

“Yeah, that’s what happens when a six— _seven_ year old jumps on you and nearly pounds your femur into dust.” Dis snorted and Thorin glared at her. “You’re merciless.”

“You’re just old.”

“Fili?”

“Still asleep,” Dis said. “Let him be. It’s not like he’s the one turning seven.”

“That would be disastrous,” Thorin said, following her downstairs and sitting down, rubbing his calf. Kili barely grazed it, but it was enough to pinch. “We need to break him out of the habit of waking people up like that.”

“He only does it to you and only on days that excite him,” Dis promised. “You can discuss it with him while you’re out. He’ll listen. He looks up to you.”

“I know,” Thorin said with a heavy sigh.

Many people assumed Thorin was Kili’s father. He could see why they would, but it usually made him bang his head against a wall and also want to jump in a sanitation shower.

The irony was he really _could_ be Kili’s father. He raised the boy since birth and they do look alike, save for the eyes. Kili had bright, hazel brown eyes that were like sinhalite gems when the sun shone on his face in just the right way.

They were his father’s eyes without a doubt. It was a pity that Kili never knew his father…

“So what’s the breakfast the birthday boy asked for?” Dis asked

“Crisp bread with ham and tomatoes,” Thorin said, massaging his forehead before standing and heading over to make coffee.

“Sleep well?”

“Till Kili came in, yeah. Had a weird dream,” he admitted as he began to brew enough coffee for the two of them.

“Care to tell?”

“I was watching my adult, middle-aged son die of tuberculosis,” Thorin said.

“That sounds more like a nightmare.”

“It felt like it, but there was a semblance of peace throughout it, like he and I were reconciling.”

“What was this son’s name?”

Thorin furrowed his brow. “Ffff…I don’t remember, but it started with an F.”

“Well, either way, you look at it, it’s just a dream. A very weird dream, but still,” Dis patted his shoulder. “The likelihood that either of us will watch our children die while they’re adults is slim. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen because it does, but it is still very rare.”

“I know,” he said. “It was just weird.” He poured the coffee into two mugs and handed one of them to Dis. “It’s good to be home. Regardless how long.”

“And it’s good to have you home,” she said. They touched their cups together in mock-toast and managed one gulp of coffee before Kili came downstairs wondering where his crisp bread was with Fili behind him still in pajamas.

#

The newcomer, who introduced himself as Dwalin, wasn’t a historian or archeologist in any way. Not to say he wasn’t careful of what he touched, but he kept writing notes on how to improve installation, make it safer to stay in, if not live in, and a number of other things.

Bilbo was certain not one of them included flirting with Ori or staring at his ass. All he knew of this man was that he was a friend of Thorin’s and that he’d be redesigning the castle.

He spoke of things like insulation, heating, cooling, plumbing, and trash maintenance—something that would certainly be a problem if they went with the option of making Erebor a hotel. There was also a very lengthy discussion on historical integrity.

All of which seemed important, but for the most part went over Bilbo’s head a little bit and he annoyed Smaug enough to make him turn off his phone because of how many questions about these changes Bilbo was asking him to explain. The last text:

_Get a fucking book on it. There’s a library in town, isn’t there? Or google it._

Bilbo knew about the library, but he usually just read fiction rather than non-fiction. He liked stories. He liked how they’ve progressed and he enjoyed figuring out which part of a story was inspired by which other tale.

But what was google? Was that the internet thing?

Some vampires he knew worked technology quite well, but he hadn’t managed to figure it out…at least not yet and likely if he were to ask, they’d start laughing and cracking old jokes in his face.

He’d rather avoid that if he could. It’d only get ugly.

He heard a noise across the hall from his room. Bilbo furrowed his brow and went to investigate only to see Dwalin kneeling in front of Ori with his hands on his hips and Ori’s eyes closed, biting his lower lip as if hoping to keep from being heard. Bilbo arched a brow and decided to go somewhere else. Let the lovers have their privacy.

Possibly ensure it as well. He didn’t particularly mind the sudden public display—as if he even saw anything with Dwalin’s head in the way—but there was a time and place and while the timing might be fine, the place was riskier than necessary.

Still, it was their risk to take.

Bilbo went outside and leaned on the balcony, watching birds fly toward the ocean in the north.

 _Heaven is not for those like us_.

He blinked, uncertain why he was recalling the words Thorin had said to him so many centuries ago, but the words came like water from a fountain:

“But immortality is ours nonetheless and not for the souls of the humans from whom we drink,” he recited. “One day, we will be forgotten. One day, we will be myth and proof of our existence will be summed up as cannibalism, or something equally distasteful. Cannibals usually go mad if they are not already mad. We drink human blood because we must, like how the human eats the bird or the doe. It is the exact same thing and humans like logic. They like things to make sense because the world is senseless. They will try to justify everything, even the most unjustifiable of evils. We can keep the balance of nature if we try—”

“I thought I might find you here.”

Bilbo spun around and seized Gandalf’s neck, but he did not squeeze, not yet. “How did you find me?!”

Gandalf held his hands up. “I have no weapon on me. I am not here to harm you, Vampire of Erebor.”

“You shouldn’t even know I exist,” Bilbo growled, baring his fangs.

“Shouldn’t, yes, and yet I do. I thought we could have a chat. First of all, I’m a Half One.”

“There seem to be more and more of you every time I turn around.”

“Well, you’re perhaps the last one to hold onto old prejudices, even if you do have a servant. I, personally, do not drink. Nor am I hunting you. That I brought Thorin Durin here should be proof enough that I mean you no harm, but good will.”

“Who are you?! Speak plainly, old man!”

“Do you know what became of your family? The English clan that bore you? They’ve survived and the last living descendant is just a boy and he’s dying. Vampire or no, you’re his last living relative. But law, both human and vampire, he is in your care. Please, Bilbo, he’s only thirteen years old.”

Bilbo lowered his hand, seizing Gandalf’s tie. “I will listen to your tale. I want the whole of it. You’re lineage, who raised you, how you knew me, why you approached me—everything!”

“All right, perhaps we could go somewhere private? I’m sure you have a place you barred us access to,” Gandalf said. “And if I tell you what you want to know, will you at least consider my request?”

“I’ll decide that after your tale.”

“Fair enough,” Gandalf said. Bilbo let go and Gandalf massaged his throat. “Lead the way, lord.”

#

Thorin didn’t think he’d ever get used to the sound of screaming children. He sipped _fruktsoda_ while nursing a migraine outside with the other parents. “When do you leave again?” Dain asked, as his child—also named Thorin—chased after Kili around the yard.

“Tomorrow,” Thorin said, lowering the glass. “Dwalin’s up there with the team and I hate leaving him alone for long, though earlier today he did decide to brag about getting some.”

Fili, who stepped out at just the wrong moment it seemed, groaned his distaste at Thorin’s announcement while Dain snorted around his beer bottle and coughed.

“Fili’s it!” little Thorin declared, slapping Fili’s arm and running off.

Fili gave the children a glare and Thorin turned to him. “Go play with them.”

“Thorin—”

“You’re it. And who’s going to see? Who knows, you could use a little fun.”

Fili sighed and held out his glass. “Hold this for me.” The children cheered, then shrieked when Fili went after them. Dain chuckled.

“He likes to act tough, but he’s a big softy, isn’t he. Not unlike another big brother I remember,” Dain said, nudging Thorin’s shoulder. Thorin shrugged, recalling the dream and wondering why it left him feeling sadder than he should.


	9. Chapter 9

Bilbo stood outside the hospital door and watched the boy. He had wires taped to his body and a breathing tube down his throat and an IV was hooked to a vein in his hand. He was so small for a boy of thirteen. He glanced at the plaque on the door:

 _F. Baggins_.

“What happened to him?” he asked.

“He and his parents were in a car accident ten months ago. He’s been a coma ever since. I’ve done what I could to ensure Frodo gets the best of care, but there is little else I can do.”

“What is your interest in the boy?”

“He’s my godson,” Gandalf said.

“Then by right, he is to be in your care.”

“He is going to die. There is very little sign that he’ll wake up at all. It’s miraculous he still lived.”

“That is not living.”

“You can save him.”

“You want me to turn him, a child, into a vampire,” Bilbo said, crossing his arms and arching a brow at Gandalf. “Have you not seen Interview with a Vampire? Do you think that there isn’t a little bit of truth to the mythos?”

“So there is nothing you will do?”

“I didn’t say that,” Bilbo said, “Only that I will not turn him. But if you like, I will wake him. Just know it will take a while. A few weeks more at most. I wouldn’t want to startle the doctors if he woke immediately.”

Gandalf nodded and waved his hand, motioning for him to enter. Bilbo entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed, taking Frodo’s hand in his.

His hand was cold, but he could feel his pulse beating steadily. Bilbo lifted the hand and bit the inside of his wrist, just above the vein, and he lapped gently at the blood before setting the hand down and touched the boy’s forehead. He could see a room, the boy in question was playing a video game alone.

_Frodo sensed him and he looked at him, blinking. “Who are you?”_

_“A friend,” Bilbo said, sitting beside him. “Do you know how long you’ve been here?”_

_“A while,” Frodo said, shrugging. “I’m waiting.”_

_“For what?”_

_He shrugged again. “I don’t remember. Mum and Dad, maybe. I think we’re going to go on a trip soon, but…” He furrowed his brow and looked at the controller in his hands._

_“You don’t remember.”_

_He nodded._

_Bilbo hummed. “Would you like to remember?”_

_Frodo’s eyes widened, but there was no joy or relief, just fear. Only fear._

_“You do remember something, though,” Bilbo surmised. “You remember something bad happened. Frodo, you don’t need to be afraid anymore. You need to remember and you need to wake up.”_

_“Am I asleep?”_

_“You’ve been asleep for a very long time, lad,” Bilbo said. “And you need to wake up.”_

_“I don’t want to wake up.”_

_Bilbo hummed, resting his chin on his hand. “Frodo, do you remember Gandalf? Your godfather?”_

_Frodo nodded._

_“He’s worried about you. You’re in the hospital because of what happened to you and your family. The doctors don’t know how long they can keep you alive and so Gandalf asked me to help you. He wants you to wake up and keep living, no matter what happened to you, you can be strong. But you need to wake up first. It’ll take a while, but if you trust me, I can help you get through most of it and your body will do the rest.”_

_He held his hand out and Frodo stared at it. Then he looked at the game. “I’m scared.”_

_“That’s okay,” Bilbo said. “It’s all right to be afraid. What makes one brave is not the absence of fear, but doing the right thing anyway when confronted by fear. I cannot say there is nothing bad out in the waking world, but I can promise you will be cared for and protected. You can be strong. Prove to me and to Gandalf that you are strong. Take my hand. It’s time to wake up.”_

_Frodo stared the hand some more before setting the controller down and took Bilbo’s hand. “Are you real?” he asked. “Sometimes I see things that aren’t real.”_

_“I’m real,” Bilbo said. “But it is unlikely we will meet again.”_

Bilbo felt Frodo’s hand twitch and he glanced at it, a finger lifted up, then rested down. He glanced at Gandalf and nodded, watching the relief flood over Gandalf’s very being. He exited the room.

“You never said who your vampire parent was.”

“Dracula,” he said. “My father was Dracula. He told me and my siblings to find you if we needed help.”

“I was not aware Vlad held me in such high esteem.”

“You got him out of Turkey. He saw you more as a father than his own.”

“He had more children. With humans? Why?”

“I wouldn’t know. He didn’t see anything wrong with it.”

 _The bastard was a fool,_ Bilbo thought.

It was likely because of Vlad that there were more Half Ones than there were vampires now. Probably spread the idea that it was a way to ensure their legacy or something equally idiotic. Bilbo wouldn’t know. He told him the risks of having children with humans.

So why would he ignore his word if he held him in such esteem?

 _Little I can do about it now_ , Bilbo thought. “I did what you wanted, can I go home now?”

Gandalf nodded. “There is still a lot of work to do at Erebor, anyway.”

“So you won’t remove your team.”

“Thorin has no intention of leaving Erebor now and I offered our services to open up as much of the castle to the public as possible. Speaking of, you aren’t hiding anything from us, are you?”

“You mean apart from myself,” Bilbo muttered. “I am due my privacy, Old Man.”

“I am sure if you manage to erase all doubt from Thorin’s mind, you’ll be able to convince him to give you a room and even aid you. He is trying to rationalize your existence still, though we both know that he knows you are real. You can convince him. You know how.”

Bilbo shook his head. “But he is _not_ my Thorin.”

“Is that what your servant is telling you? I promise you, it is him.”

Bilbo massaged his forehead and sighed, shaking his head. “It can’t be him. It’s impossible.”

“No, it’s not. It’s rare, but it is very possible. You are not the first to be reunited with your lover in this way. For being the oldest of all the modern vampires, you are very naïve and perhaps that is the result of your long-uninterrupted solitude. It is possible, it is not unlikely that, now that you’re reunited, he’s going to remember you. Little by little, he’ll remember being Thorin Oakenshield.”

Bilbo shook his head. “I don’t want your false promises and assurances,” he pleaded. “Why is it you, and Smaug, insist on drawing out my pain?”

“If remembering Thorin hurts as much as you think it is, if the idea of him being human pains you as much as you believe it is, then why are you still here? Why are you still listening to us? A part of you knows it’s him,” Gandalf said. “You just don’t want to do anything about it because you are afraid despite that there is nothing to be afraid of and everything to be joyous about. Let him remember on his own terms, then, let him seek you out when he remembers who he used to be.”

“You are certain of that?”

“He is already remembering, of that I am sure. Whether he knows it or not is another matter entirely.”

#

Thorin usually wasn’t sure what would happen when he returned. Would he start seeing Bilbo again or will the short time away help his mind accept that he wasn’t real. It was almost painful to think about not seeing the vampire again. He didn’t know why he thought that. He just did.

And then there was Dwalin, constantly watching Ori and there was the time the morning after he returned catching them together in the hallway.

“Please don’t tell my brother,” Ori begged. “Nori might not seem it, but he and our other brother, Dori, they’re stifling!”

Thorin promised not to tell him, but he did smack the back of Dwalin’s head for his lack of caution where Ori was concerned. When Gandalf returned from London—for reasons he did not explain—he started seeing Bilbo again, but he did his best to leave him be. He didn’t approach him. He didn’t follow. He didn’t engage in any way.

Aside from that he didn’t want to let the vision get to his head, he had no reason to stay away and Bilbo, it seemed, was content to let him be.

It was almost as if he got trapped in _A Beautiful Mind_.

Except he started to miss him. Thorin couldn’t explain why not talking to Bilbo left him feeling miserable. He couldn’t explain why not being near him left an ache. He shouldn’t feel this way. He shouldn’t crave being in Bilbo’s presence, talking to him—let alone dream about kissing him. He wasn’t even real!

Right?

An apparition shouldn’t leave him lying awake at night, _missing_ it and whatever it was they had. He barely knew anything about Bilbo!

“You’re brooding.”

Thorin glared at Dwalin. “Astute observation, I _wonder_ how you came up with it.”

“Someone back home?”

“No. Why do you always assume—”

“Just trying to help, don’t get your panties in a bunch,” Dwalin muttered. Thorin shoved him.

“Perhaps we should get back to work instead,” he said, standing and stretching. “I’m going to the basement. Want to come?”

“Nah. I’ve calculations on what to do about the insulation and how we’re going to get this place up to date. It’s a mess.”

“It’s old and left alone for a millennium at least. Give it a break.”

“Either way, my work’s upstairs.”

“Don’t get distracted by ginger linguists,” Thorin said. Dwalin flipped him off and he headed downstairs.

He felt chills crawl up his spine, hearing whimpers from inside the basement. His heart beat fast and he felt clammy. With a breath, he opened the door and Bilbo jerked his head up from the girl in his arms. Her neck was covered in blood and her eyes were glazed over.

The smell made Thorin feel faint and Bilbo let go of her. She hit the floor and Bilbo appeared centimeters away from Thorin, seizing his shoulder and shoving him against the wall. He smelt of freshly spilt blood and he bore long incisors at Thorin.

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same—”

Bilbo smacked the wall. “You know what I am!” Bilbo shouted. “You _know_ what it takes for me to live!”

“But you’re not real!” Thorin shot back. “You can’t be!”

Bilbo’s anger seemed to flow away at that, morphing to something akin to heartbreak…then it was back and he latched onto Thorin’s neck.

After that, there was only pain…


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING
> 
> So...within this chapter you will find:  
> -Character Death  
> -Premeditated Manipulation  
> -Manipulation
> 
> So far, there's not been any non-con/rape, and honestly, I put that TW up to be on the safe side since I don't know what will happen outside non-consensual blood-drinking. Which, tbh, would be non-con anyway.

~The Scandes, the Year of Our Lord 1004~

Monks strode through the village, chanting their prayers as they walked back to the monastery. One of them was Thorin’s servant. A Half-One who managed to keep hidden, pass as a human while still delivering Thorin his monthly meal.

Which is what brought Thorin down from the mountains. His Half-One was late in delivering a human to him this month.

Thorin whistled and the group paused.

“Brother Thranduil, might I have a word,” he said. Thranduil stiffened and approached.

“My lord? If it’s about this month’s tribute—”

“It’s late.”

“There are rumors, my lord. The people are starting to suspect me,” Thranduil whispered. “Soon they will suspect you.”

Thorin pulled him aside. “I will handle all of that. You have one job. Send someone to me. Tonight. Otherwise, I will have to find a new slave and that is messier than it needs to be. Agreed?”

“Yes, my lord,” Thranduil said, swallowing. “I will find someone. Two, if I can.”

“One will do, though I do admire your tenacity to go the extra mile, Brother Thranduil.”

With that, Thorin sent him on his way. He wrinkled his nose and pulled a handkerchief out to block the worse of the smells around him. It was more tolerable before he became a vampire, but now even the gentlest stench put him on edge. Save for the smell of blood, of course.

He needed to get out of here. Too many smells. Too much noise. Enough to give him a blasted headache which would only get worse the longer he went without feeding. He’d worry about this when he got home. He’d need to. He needed to leave. Needed to feed.

And so, while his wits were still about him, he left.

#

As promised, Thranduil delivered two men to him by nightfall. Thorin kept to the shadows for now, watching as the pair looked around.

“What do you think, Hamfast?” the first, a nobleman—English, if the accent said anything. Good. Foreigners often got lost in their travels. Murdered on the road, robbed. Especially if travelling alone or with only a servant.

“Seems a bit dreary to me, Master,” the servant, Hamfast said. Thranduil winced, expecting backlash for the servant’s outspoken statement, but the master laughed.

“Do try not to say that to Lord Thorin, Hamfast.”

“I said dreary. Could use a little more light and color, but t’is his house to do with as he pleases, my opinion aside.”

“Aye, that is true. Perhaps we could encourage a little color to brighten the place,” the master said. He turned to Thranduil. “When will we meet Lord Thorin? Tonight? Tomorrow?”

“It is later than I anticipated so he may be asleep,” Thranduil said. “I will show you your room, Lord Baggins. And Mr. Hamfast’s as well. Or if you wish, I could wake him…”

“Do no such thing. I’m sure Lord Thorin won’t mind if we meet at breakfast on the morrow.”

He turned, finally allowing Thorin a glimpse of his face. Lord Baggins wasn’t exactly the paragon of male beauty, but he was comely enough. His eyes were blue, or maybe they were green, but in the light and due to distance, Thorin wasn’t sure. His hair was like spun gold and he had a short beard.

And yet, despite this, Thorin found himself drawn to him. There was something about Lord Baggins. Something he couldn’t quite place, and yet at the same time it was as if he couldn’t fathom…he wanted him as if he had not wanted nor desired before.

Usually, choosing a partner was a split decision based on initial attraction. Having been in a relationship of _that_ sort, Thorin never really liked it as he was expected to. And with the way his sire treated Frerin…

He wasn’t a fool. No, this…

This would take time. This would require genteel and stealth. Admittedly, Thorin wasn’t very genteel. But he could figure something out to win Baggins over. He let Thranduil lead them past him and he stepped in line with them, walking beside Baggins. He licked his lips and when they stopped outside Baggins’ room, he took a moment to sniff.

Shit, he smelled good…

He’d have to commend Thranduil for his insight later.

The door closed and once they were a decent distance away. Thorin attacked Hamfast, muffling his voice to keep him from being heard.

Thranduil looked away.

“I was certain you’d go for the other one first,” he said once Thorin had finished.

Thorin arched a brow. “Actually, I think I’ll keep him around for a while. After all, his servant just died and they seemed friendly.”

“Yes, my lord. What should I tell him?”

Thorin broke the dead man’s neck. “Fell down the stairs due to poor lighting. For that, I will later send a request for more torches and smiths to fashion new torch picks.”

“And Lord Baggins?”

“He stays.”

Thranduil narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“Need I give you a reason?” Thorin snarled. “Your duty remains. I want another human next month.”

“You are set—you intend to make him like you!”

“Not yet. I want him to trust me first. We’ll see what happens then.”

“This is a bad idea.”

“Perhaps,” Thorin said. And maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe he should let the man go or drink him slowly, enjoying every last drop.

But when he met him the next morning, able to see that his eyes were indeed blue, that if the light hit his hair in just the right way, Thorin decided he’d take the risk. Especially when the news of his servant’s sudden demise reached his ears.

~The Year of Our Lord 1005~

Falling in love with Bilbo as quickly as he did had not been part of the plan. Finding out they both preferred the company of men to women was a blessing. Their first night together could have gone better if Thorin had not accidently bitten him. It was a short thing, enough to scare Bilbo till Thorin could erase the memory. And from there, if he had any other…mistakes…he’d erase the unpleasant memory from his lover’s mind.

Thranduil warned him about drinking from Bilbo too much. Thorin rebuked him for speaking out of turn, despite knowing that Thranduil was right. Bilbo was getting sick more often and for longer periods as their first year progressed. Finding him one day in winter passed out on the floor due to anemia had actually done something that Thorin didn’t think was possible since Frerin was alive.

It scared him.

As Bilbo slept that night, after being told he’d likely not survive the winter, Thorin wept, begging for forgiveness. He told him the truth about what he was and what led him to his illness. It did not seem that Bilbo was listening, as deep asleep as he was.

Thorin tucked a strand of hair behind Bilbo’s ear, biting his lip before kissing him, letting his blood seep into Bilbo’s mouth. He begged Bilbo would understand why he decided to turn him. He didn’t want to lose someone he loved.

When the transformation finally ended and Thorin fed him his first human waiting for Bilbo to regain his wits, he was distraught. Bilbo was furious with him and for a month, he locked himself away as Thorin begged outside the door for mercy and forgiveness. Letters were traded under the door.

Hunger took to Bilbo again and he stepped out.

“I am still angry with you,” he said. Thorin said nothing. “And I want to hate you. I should hate you for what you did to me. Not just for making me this monster, but for lying to me for nearly a whole year. For feeding on me…”

“I didn’t mean to,” Thorin said, reaching for him. Bilbo stepped away from his reach, glaring at him.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” he said. “None of it does. For what it’s worth, I don’t hate you. It’s not like I had anything to go back to in England anyway.”

“I didn’t want to lose you,” Thorin said. “I still don’t. I know I’m not worthy of you, Bilbo, but I love you and I was killing you. I…” He swallowed. “I couldn’t bear it if I lost you at my own hands. I didn’t mean to hurt you. This was the only solution I knew would work quickly enough…”

“That and you probably were going to turn me into a vampire anyway, if not eventually kill me after you grew bored of me,” Bilbo said. Thorin shook his head.

“Turn you, yes. It never crossed my mind to kill you.”

“What did you do to me that made me forget?”

“I can alter human memories. In time, so can you. Each time I bit you—accidently—you would panic and I…I didn’t know what would happen if I left you with that memory. I was scared you’d go to the village. I was scared you’d betray me.”

Bilbo huffed. “I don’t hate you,” he said. “I am angry, yes, but I love you. And of _course,_ I panicked! Who wouldn’t if they were to find out that their lover is a vampire? Thorin, I wouldn’t have hurt you like that. I would need time away, of course, to come to terms with it, and we are long due for a talk about _this_. Whether you intended it or not, I can guess that you did want to turn me.”

“Not so soon, but one day, yes.”

“How old are you? Really?”

“Nearly four hundred years,” he said. “I was alive before the Christians came and converted the people here. I was alive when my son died, and his son went raiding. And his son after him…I used to go on these raids before I became this. I became this and the vampire who made me wanted to make my son like us too, but my son didn’t want this. I lived alone, usually all right with my solitude, my servant sending me humans when I need them…I did not know how lonely I was until I met you and I…I don’t want to be alone anymore, but I didn’t want to turn you without you understanding why. I hoped to have this conversation before I turned you and only with your consent.”

“And if I never did consent? What then?”

“I don’t know,” Thorin said.

Bilbo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Where do you usually feed?”

Thorin took his hand and led him downstairs…

~Present Day~

He groaned, waking.

The memories flitting through his head were starting to lessen in their intensity, but it still left his head feeling like it’d been hit by an anvil.

He knew this place.

It was his house.

His dungeon. The chains remained, but the shackles were gone.

He remembered dying. He remembered being stabbed in the heart with a silver stake, ignoring Bilbo’s pleas that they flee and live to fight another day.

He remembered other lives, trying to get back to him, but never really remembering, but always— _always_ drawn back to the Scandes though fate always got in his way…

In the corner, Bilbo wept mumbling to himself and rocking. Thorin’s neck hurt. It felt like he’d been stung there and the muscle throbbed. Thorin rubbed the offending spot and winced. He pulled his hand away, staring at the blood smearing his skin.

The woman Bilbo had been feeding on was dead, but Thorin didn’t care. Not like he did a few moments ago. He crawled over to Bilbo and embraced him.

“I’m sorry,” Bilbo wept. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know,” Thorin said, kissing him and petting his hair. “I know. But I remember. I remember, Bilbo. It’s okay. I’m here now, my love. I’m here. I’m here.”

“It can’t be you. It _can’t_. You’re dead. You died and left me alone…you left me.” Thorin kissed him again, releasing a shuddering breath as he held Bilbo and listened to his denial. He pulled Bilbo into his lap and continued to kiss him, whisper his assurances that he was here, that he wasn’t going to abandon Bilbo like that.

Not again.

Not _ever_ again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given that the non-con only goes for blood drinking anyway, should I keep the non-con/rape tag?


	11. Chapter 11

His memories kept him up at night. Sometimes they gave him nightmares that he woke up in a sweat from. Bilbo would be there to calm him, visible only to him. He was human. He didn’t know how he could see a vampire whose glamour was on, but there it was.

There were times, as always, that he couldn’t see Bilbo. If he didn’t, Bilbo would just gently touch his wrist or kiss his shoulder. His neck was still healing and he took to wearing a scarf to hide the gauze, saying he’d been feeling a little cold.

Dwalin and Gandalf’s team accepted the explanation. From there, after another month of excavating, it was time to pack up the artifacts they found and send them to London for restoration. Bilbo had angrily asked why they couldn’t go to Oslo, but Thorin—and Gandalf, to Thorin’s surprise—told him that their team was English and unless they could be allowed a place in Oslo, well…Bilbo said he’d call someone first before they shipped off the mainland. A couple hours later, he returned, smirking. 

“My contact has agreed to clear you some space in Oslo and you’ll be welcomed to one of the hotels there as special guests of the Norwegian Museum of Cultural History.”

“That gives them a leeway into taking the castle from me, doesn’t it?” Thorin asked, glaring at him.

“No,” Bilbo. “This contact of mine is my Half One.”

“Still enslaving them, are you?” Gandalf asked, quite irate.

Bilbo shrugged. “It’s not like he and I are often together. He just keeps me up on current events.”

“That’s what the news is for,” Thorin said.

Bilbo scoffed. “You really think anything that happens in the news is anything less than biased? How much of it do you think is true? I promise you, having someone with intranet—”

“Internet," Thorin corrected.

“Yeah. That.”

"Intranet means it's a closed network. Internet is an open network."

Bilbo huffed and crossed his arms, a slight tinge lighting his cheeks. “I am nearly a thousand years old, what do you expect?”

“That you’d at least be more technologically literate,” Thorin snapped. Bilbo stuck his tongue out at him. “Very mature, Bilbo.”

Gandalf shook his head. “You’ve barely been back together a month and already act like you’ve known each other your whole lives.”

“After a thousand years apart unwillingly, I think a quick reconnection isn’t that unexpected or unwelcome,” Bilbo said.

“Says the vampire who refused to install internet.”

“I have Smaug! What would be the point when I can just ask him?”

“Do you even have a little bit of technology?”

Bilbo pulled out his phone. “Like this?”

“So you’re okay with phones?”

“I started getting these things fifteen or sixteen years ago. Smaug insisted on it.”

“At least this Smaug person isn’t so old that he refuses to be sensible,” Gandalf muttered. “We should get the crates to that lab. And I would like to have a meeting with your associate, Bilbo.”

“You could just say servant.”

“No,” Thorin said. “Bad form. Very, _very_ bad form.”

Gandalf patted his shoulder. “You have your work cut out for you.”

“Yeah, I do,” Thorin sighed. Bilbo stuck his tongue out at them again and shifted to fog, slipping through the cracks. Likely, he went to the basement. “Should I go or stay?" he asked Gandalf. "I could do either, but I’m a little worried about leaving Dwalin and his crew alone with Bilbo for long.”

“You are an independent contractor at the moment, are you not?” Gandalf said. “Do what you think is best. Your belongings will be in good care and we will restore it to mint condition for the museum. Speaking of, where exactly do you plan to put all this?”

“Bilbo’s going to hate it, but the basement really is the best place for a spooky vampire museum.”

“He doesn’t know?”

“Not yet.”

“Now that you remember, I was certain he’d turn you.”

Thorin shook his head. “I’ve still a lot to do as a human. We agreed to hold off on any, uh, changes. I have a sister and nephews to think about. I don’t really trust myself around them with fangs, you know? No offense to those who do have parents who had fangs…”

“I know. Keep an eye on Dwalin _and_ Bilbo. I hate to think what could happen if Bilbo gets angry at him.”

“I don’t think he will.”

Gandalf arched a brow and with that, the trucks were loaded with the crates and the archeology team left. Dwalin kissed Ori goodbye before sending them off and Thorin squeezed his shoulder.

“We ready for your crew?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Just be careful where you step and wear a mask. Lots of work to do.”

“Yeah."

#

The next three days were horrid. There was dust everywhere. So much of it that Thorin had tried to kick Bilbo out of the castle for the next few days. Bilbo had not taken to that well.

“I don’t know how this is going to affect you and if vampires were humans, maybe any mold or whatever is around could affect you just as much as it would us.”

“I’ve lived here without even _knowing_ about these things. Do I look like I need to go a hospital for breathing in supposedly poisonous fumes and dust?”

“Which worries me.”

“For _years_ ,” Bilbo snapped. “I am quite certain that I do not need to leave. I’m _fine_.”

“Bilbo—”

“I’ll keep out of the way, but I’m _not_ leaving just because you’re worried about my immune system. Humans are the weak ones.”

“You were a human.”

“Doesn’t mean I _am_. I’m quite sure I’m technically dead anyway.”

“Then how do you explain vampires being able to have children?”

Bilbo looked at him and smirked. “Tell me when you have a theory. At least.”

After that, Thorin had thrown his hands up and gotten back to work muttering about how there was no point in arguing with thousand-year-old grandpas.

Bilbo retaliated by throwing an old bead pillow at the back of his head.

It hit Thorin in the back instead and Bilbo received a rather annoyed glare for his trouble.

#

“Careful with those!” Gandalf said. “The vases in those crates are hundreds of years old! Thank you…”

Nori clapped his shoulder. “Lighten up. We can breathe a little now that Durin’s gone.”

“I believe Thorin had been significantly lenient with us, Nori,” Gandalf said.

“And you’ve been angry since before we left. Had to be Durin.”

Gandalf huffed, knowing that correcting Nori would only confuse him if not worry him. And the others, for sure.

Ori had already gotten to work restoring the letters and was debating with Bifur over whether the best course would be to bind them in a protective book or something else. And if anyone’s behavior was in question, it should be the young linguist’s. Wouldn’t it? He’d been rather morose since leaving and if the absence of a certain construction manager had anything to do with it…

Gandalf went to open a crate filled with the paintings. If anything, he could get Nori to get started on restoring these. He pulled out one, staring at the image that would soon change history and how people saw the LGBT community. Infamy behind Bilbo and Thorin beside, it could actually have a positive influence…

_On second thought, perhaps not._

He gave it to Nori, who rolled his eyes and took it to his station.

“Gandalf Grey?”

He looked at the doorway as a tall man dressed in a black suit and red tie approached. “I am Grey. And you are?”

“You may call me Smaug. My benefactor said you had need for our lab.”

“Ah. Yes.” Gandalf took Smaug’s hand and swallowed as a clammy sensation crawled up his spine. How did Bilbo manage to work with such a…a… _dragon_.

“I take it we are the same.”

“Same mold, different creations,” Gandalf said, hoping he didn’t sound too strained. “We originally were going to return to London, but your…benefactor, you say? He suggested we come here instead.”

“Yes. I know. He requested we give you free reign here and that is my intention. The Norwegian Museum of Cultural History would love to aid you and your team in any way possible. We’re even wondering if the new owner of Erebor would be willing to colaberate with the museum. After all, it’s all a part of our history. The Vampire of Erebor is a very little known tale…”

“I’m sure Thorin is willing to meet with you when the time comes. Right now, he’s overseeing the restoration of the castle. He wouldn’t be able to come down for a while yet.”

“I understand. Service up there isn’t great, but I’m sure I can reach him through our mutual friend.”

Gandalf nodded. “If that is all, Mr. Smaug, my team has work to do.”

“Of course,” Smaug said, smiling. “I won’t take more of your time. If you need anything, let me know. I’ll have someone come by with lunch. On the house.”

“You’re very gracious. Thank you.”

Smaug nodded, beaming, and left.

Gandalf didn’t trust him.

Not one bit.


	12. Chapter 12

Being pushed against the wall and kissed ruthlessly by a vampire wasn’t the most comforting experience. Especially when said wall is literally stone. There was also the case of Bilbo’s teeth to be mindful of, though that didn’t seem to be much of an issue Thorin realized as Bilbo relaxed.

“Is there an occasion?” Thorin asked after Bilbo pulled away.

Bilbo tilted his head to the side. “Since when did we need one?” he asked. “I had been dying to kiss you since I saw you last.”

He touched Bilbo’s cheek, watching Bilbo nuzzle his palm like a cat, and kissed him again with a gentler kiss. No fangs embedded in his lip.

“I take it nibbling isn’t…”

“Unless you want to look like you’ve gotten a rather nasty split lip, it’s out of the question,” Bilbo said. “Never been much of a nibbler myself, even when I was a human.”

“What about French kissing?” Bilbo looked confused. “Tongue.”

“A little risky, but doable,” Bilbo said, leaning against the wall. “So what brings you down here? Need to get away from the construction crew?”

“Ah, well, you could say that.”

The last few days had been quite busy. They began with the bedrooms, ripping them apart, taking the old furniture out for recycling and dumping. A few rooms that were in decent condition and Thorin had requested for those to be left until he could contact Gandalf to ask about restoring the beds and bedding. They were surprisingly well kept…

He still needed to contact Gandalf about those.

“It’s actually…about the basement.”

Bilbo frowned. “What about the basement?”

Thorin rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s the only space in the castle that would work for the museum I’m planning.”

“But this is the most secluded spot in the castle,” Bilbo said. “Until Gandalf came along and everything, I had the whole place to myself. The basement’s the best place to keep someone—”

“I understand that and I’m sorry, but if I say no and we board it up, it’d just cause you more trouble.”

“Not really.”

“And Dwalin would ask questions. The ball room is the only other room big enough and I was thinking of using that as the restaurant.”

“There’s a dining room you could use instead.”

“Not big enough for either.”

“You’re convinced people will actually travel to the mountain just to see a vampire’s den?”

Thorin groaned. “ _Twilight_ still has some power in the world. I think.” That would be something to ask Dis. Not that she’d know. She still favored Anne Rice’s _Vampire Chronicles._ Thorin didn’t blame her. “So, yeah, I think people would be interested.”

“Where exactly am I going to feed?!”

“I’ll figure something out. There are other rooms.”

“Not sound proof,” Bilbo snapped. “Humans are loud when they’re attacked.”

“This room’s sound proof.”

“The walls are very thick in here. Thorin, I need to be able to feed. In private. No interruption. This room is the best place for that!”

“Can’t you just…why not hypnotize your victims? When we open, you’ll have plenty to choose from…oh fucking God, I can’t believe I just said that!”

“You think it’s that easy? Feeding on someone? Hypnotizing them, yeah, that’s doable, but bite marks are noticeable.”

“Can’t you heal them? I heard vampires can heal their victims, leave no trace.”

“Where did you…what do they teach in schools these days?!”

“I think that’s from a comic book my nephew showed me,” Thorin said. Bilbo growled and paced the room. “Bilbo, I’m trying to make it work. Why would it be so bad to just _work_ with me on this?”

“Oh, where to begin?” Bilbo said. “You decided this without consulting me, for one.”

“We’re talking about it now.”

“You should have told me first thing!”

“I thought I was having hallucinations when we met!” Thorin shot back. “Remember that? How I was trying _not_ to panic while also questioning my sanity? Yeah. I decided this long before I knew who I was and who you are and that vampires exist! It’s still new to me and sometimes I wonder if this is all a dream and I’ll wake up and you won’t be here and a part of me is terrified—”

Bilbo took his face in his hands. “I promise you, it’s not a dream. I’m really here.”

“I love you, Bilbo,” Thorin said. “And I don’t mean to make it more difficult for you to hunt. If anything I thought it might be easier for you to hunt if there was a steady flow of people coming in.”

“In a way, it does make it easier, but at the same time, it doesn’t. There’s a reason I go after the homeless, Thorin. There’s no one to miss them. The people who will come here when you open the hotel…that’s harder to navigate. I wouldn’t be able to drink as much as I should and if I leave a body, people will get suspicious. Hunting, staying a myth, that’s…God, Thorin, most of my kind has been eradicated because of shit like this!”

“Well, there’s a cave here, right? Wouldn’t that work?”

“Too open. Victim will die.”

“I remember that I only needed to feed once a month. Isn’t that the case with you?”

“Yes. Once a month.”

“Twelve people a year?”

“No. Closer to three or four if I really want to be careful. I would have to drain one human completely dry. That can last me a few months between. Most don’t care about that though. I never did.”

“Then why the once a month if it wasn’t necessary?”

“For the thrill,” Bilbo said. He started to pace again, arms crossed. “My kind, me, we’re killers. There’s…I can’t explain the thrill that hunting gives us.”

“Adrenaline. Probably makes you feel more human again,” Thorin said.

“I don’t miss being human. At first I did, but then I realized I was stronger, faster, far more powerful than ever was before. Every sense I had was heightened. It might be adrenaline, but when I kill, it’s not that. It’s…it’s a necessity. It’s like…wolves. They kill because they must in order to survive. Wolves and deer, vampires and humans. Have you noticed how much damage the human population has caused in the last few years alone? The last century?”

“You really think a decline of vampires is the reason?”

“Has to be.” Bilbo leaned against the wall. “I need to feed, Thorin. This is the best room in the house for it. I’m sorry. This is not the room for your museum.”

“I can’t budge on this, either.”

“The ball room is big enough.”

“The ball room isn’t where you killed people.”

Bilbo snorted. “The majority of my kills, and yours, were in this room, true, but every room here has had someone die in it. The ballroom was a massacre site a couple of times, mostly before me.”

“You’re saying that I, past me, killed in the ball room?”

“Once or twice. Usually with other vampires. I was privy to see that once in our short time together.”

“I still think this is the best room for it.”

“This is my room,” Bilbo said. “Make it a better living space if you must, say it’ll be your room or something, but you cannot make it your museum.”

Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to remain calm. He understood aversion to change. Most people unable to accept it were old. As for Bilbo, well, after living this long and having a system that worked for centuries, he could understand that aversion. Still, Thorin didn’t want to budge either. He wouldn’t if he could help it.

There had to be a way they both got what they wanted…

There had to be a compromise…

_Of course!_

“Do you know of a television series called _Dexter_?”

“Does it look like I get television?”

“Well, it’s also a book series, so really, you could have found it. Anyway, in the series, Dexter is a serial killer who hunts down other criminals and kills them. He does his best to leave no trace of his kills by laying down layers of plastic on a kill sight to catch the blood splatter. You kill every three or four months, protecting the museum artifacts in here with that plastic. You can keep feeding in here and I can have my museum.”

Bilbo stared at him. “Okay,” he said. “That’ll work.” Thorin sighed, relief flowing through his body till he realized he had agreed to be Bilbo’s accomplice in _murder_! He felt like he was going to be sick. Thorin braced himself against the wall and focused on his breathing. He needed air. Bilbo took his arm, steadying him. “Are you okay?”

“I just agreed to help you kill people! What do you think?”

“You’ll get used to it.” Thorin stared at him. “What?” Bilbo asked. “You were a vampire once. You must remember something about killing someone. Thorin, when we met, one of the first things you did was kill my servant.”

“While also trying to figure out a way to shag you, I remember.”

“What?”

“I didn’t tell you about that?” Bilbo shook his head, trying not to laugh. “I suppose it’s several centuries too late to apologize for being a perv?”

“Do I want to know?”

Thorin thought about it…he shook his head. “Less you know, the better.”

“All right,” Bilbo said. “When do you the crew down here?”

“I told Dwalin I wanted to work on the basement last. I’ll give you a head’s up when I know more.”

“Please do.” Bilbo approached and wrapped his arms around Thorin’s neck before kissing him.

“You’re not mad about this?”

“I am, but this solution of yours with the fucking plastic better work. If it does, I’ll be more apt to forgive you for messing with a system that’s worked for the last three hundred years.”

“Seriously?”

“Hunting used to be so much easier. Then the Age of Enlightenment happened.” Bilbo shook his head. “Made everything so much harder to be a vampire.”

“Not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry…”

“And not you’re being a dick. If that is all for today…”

Thorin kissed his cheek. “I love you, Bilbo. I know this is hard, but thank you for being able to compromise with me on this.” He took his hands and kissed them. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

“I better not.”

Thorin let his hands go. “I’ve got to go make sure Dwalin’s not making too many holes in the walls upstairs.”

“So not only are you turning my basement into a museum, you’re destroying the house?”

“First rule of reconstruction is always destruction, I’m afraid. Dwalin’s good at his job. He’s my best friend. I’d trust him with my life.”

Bilbo sighed. “All right. If you trust him, then so do I.”

Thorin kissed his cheek again and opened the door, wincing as it creaked. “We got to do something about this.”

“Knowing all the changes going on upstairs, you’ll just get a new door. Go. Enjoy dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow. Right?”

“If not sooner.” Thorin closed the door behind him and sighed.

_What the fuck am I getting myself into?_

He shook the thought off. Whatever it was, he was already in it. Best thing he could do now was just find a way to keep muddling through it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex dream here.

The more time spent around Smaug, the more uneasy Gandalf felt. He stayed out of their way, checking in twice a day to see how their work progressed. It was brief and polite. No one else had suspicions against Smaug. Not like how Gandalf did.

He invited Gandalf for lunch one day. Gandalf accepted, wanting to test whether these suspicions of his were on point. He met Smaug at Hos Thea. It was a small restaurant next to a flower shop. Within were tiled floors and white chairs with white table cloths, yet it felt more homey than posh.

Smaug had procured a table in the corner. He smiled at Gandalf and waved him over. Gandalf joined him, shedding his overcoat, and sat down across from him.

After they had ordered, Smaug leaned on the table, smirking.

“I think it’s time we discuss what’s been on your mind,” Smaug said. “You know what I am. So what does that make you? Are you a hunter?”

Gandalf snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “I’m not a hunter nor am I under a vampire’s employ. Who was it you killed? You’re mother? Father?”

“The vampire who’s blood I share is my father. I do not know his name.”

“But you killed him.”

Smaug blinked. “Bilbo used me some years ago to help him overcome a territory dispute between him and the vampire I drank from. So yes, I am a dragon and _maybe_ I did commit patricide. It doesn’t matter to me either way, I’ve been under Bilbo’s employ and protection since. Though, I don’t bring him people anymore. I don’t need to. He’s capable of hunting on his own and really just asks me to explain things about ‘the outside world,’ as he calls it. Regardless how young he looks, he is an old man to the letter.”

“I see,” Gandalf said. “It doesn’t change that dragons are usually—”

The waiter returned with their food. They thanked him and once he had left, Gandalf turned to Smaug again, who had begun cutting his steak.

“I know what I am and I am not ashamed. It was the one time, all right. I’ve not killed or drank from any other vampire.”

“I doubt that. If we are the same and if it _was_ just one time, you’d not look so young in comparison.”

Smaug hummed and leaned on the table. “Interesting deduction, Dr. Grey. But perhaps its best we leave out your own hunting experiences? Or perhaps since we’re scrutinizing _my_ past, we could do the same for you? You don’t feed often, but are you not, also, responsible for the death of your father?”

Smaug pulled out a file. Gandalf stared at it for a moment, mouth thin, then he opened it. The pictures were very old. At least a century old. “You have an extensive hand in academia for a three hundred year old Half-One and former hunter. Am I right?”

“It is not something I am proud of,” Gandalf said. “My father was the last one. He had to be stopped.”

“And yet we are here, examining _my sins_ when really, you’re no better than me. I don’t know if that vampire was my father. But _you_ , oh, you _did_ kill him. Perhaps not in the same way, but still. You may not be a dragon, but we are not different, Dr. Stoker.”

“I do not go by that name anymore.”

“Of course not,” Smaug said. “But that changes nothing.”

“Vlad had to be put down,” he said. “He was always like a wounded animal and he was thinking of turning my daughter. I had to stop him. After that, I stopped hunting all together.”

“The rebellious, youngest son of Vlad Dracula. How did your siblings take that?”

Gandalf blinked. “How many of my brothers and sisters,” he said, “do you think are alive right now?”

“Most of us are comprised of Half-Ones now,” Smaug said. “And I don’t think it’d do well for either of us if we kill each other. I’d rather it not go to that, Dr. Grey. I have one last question, though: are you planning to kill Bilbo?”

Gandalf blinked. “No. He did me a favor, so now I owe him. Reuniting him with his reincarnated lover seemed like the best way to do that.”

Smaug hummed. “I understand,” he said. “And I’m glad to hear that. It’d be a pity if I had to kill you in the end for threatening my benefactor.”

“Master, you mean.”

“I am not a dog. Nor does Bilbo own me. We established that fact a long time ago. He accepts it, even if he doesn’t really understand. No, I’m just his link to current events. And my loyalty to him is not something you need to worry about nor understand. In fact, calling it loyalty is a bit of a stretch. I’d call it insurance. You should eat before your food goes cold.”

Gandalf stared at the chicken in front of him for a moment. “You won’t tell Bilbo who I am?”

“Tell my benefactor that the archeologist cleaning up his belongings is actually a retired hunter? I see no benefit to that, though,” Smaug grinned. “It does make for good leverage. You really should eat. The food here is excellent.”

#

_Bilbo dug his nails into Thorin’s shoulders as he bounced on his cock, drawing blood from the punctures in his skin. Thorin’s hands remained on Bilbo’s hips, trying not to bruise him, not that Bilbo would care. Thorin sat up, biting Bilbo’s breast and lapping at the blood that pooled out of the wound._

_He wrapped his arm around Bilbo’s waist and turned them over, licking the wound and took back control. He slowly fucked his lover to the point of madness, listening to him moan, watching him writhe under him._

_Bilbo reached down for his cock and Thorin batted his hand away. “No,” he growled, licking Bilbo’s neck. “Let me.”_

_“You say that, but you draw it out too long,” Bilbo muttered._

_“You are so focused on the end,” he said. “Focus less on that and more on what you feel now,” Thorin kissed him, rolling his hips and stroking Bilbo’s thigh. “We have all the time in the world, my love.” He bit Bilbo’s neck, feeling him arch his back and drag his nails down his back…_

Thorin woke to a loud blaring horn.

“Mary mother of God!” he shouted, sitting up. His hard on from the memory-dream deflated and he glared at Dwalin. “You fucking wanker! The fuck was that for?!”

“Breakfast is ready. And you were moaning. Got a little uncomfortable for everyone.”

Thorin glanced behind him to see Bilbo and he blushed. Had he watched? “Sorry,” he said, getting up. “Can I take a shower first?”

“Be my guest,” Dwalin said, “I’ll save you a spot. Intend to help out a bit?”

“Of course,” Thorin said, pulling on his coat. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“Sure.”

Once Dwalin had gone, Thorin pressed his head against the wall and sighed. Arms wrapped around his waist. “Pity he interrupted you,” Bilbo said.

“You could have stopped him.”

“Well, perhaps I could have. Would it have mattered?” Thorin turned around and kissed him. “Want to tell me about it?”

“It was you.”

Bilbo grinned. “What was I doing?”

“I don’t hear the shower running!” Dwalin shouted. Bilbo’s grin died and Thorin kissed his hand.

“Later.”

“Maybe we could reenact it,” Bilbo said.

Thorin swallowed. “Maybe.”

Het let go and headed to the shower, thinking on the dream. There was a lot more blood and biting than he expected and he wasn’t sure if he liked that or not. It wasn’t his usual preference in bed play. A little bondage maybe. Scratching he could handle. But biting, digging nails into flesh, _blood drinking_.

He shook his head. That was a little too kinky for his comfort even if it was between two vampires (so of course blood drinking made sense…it was what led him to turn Bilbo in the first place and likely sleeping with Bilbo might…lead to him becoming just as anemic as Bilbo did).

He wanted to make love to Bilbo again. God knew it’d been too long and his love for Bilbo from then to now was slowly melding together. Whether this would make it stronger or not, Thorin wasn’t sure.

He wasn’t ready to be a vampire again. He had to think about Dis and the boys, after all. But when things were stable. When he wasn’t needed…

Maybe then he would be interested in becoming a vampire again.

Thorin turned the water off, and dried quickly, He had to say, he was impressed with how fast Dwalin took with getting the plumbing up and running. It felt nice to actually have at least _one_ working shower. They’d need one for every room, which was going to be _hell_ to pay for…

Once dressed, he went to eat. Only Dwalin remained.

“So,” Dwalin said, smirking. “What d’you dream about?”

Thorin flipped him off around a slice of bread as he poured himself some coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never been to Oslo. Hope to one day, though. So if I get the details of this restaurant wrong, i apologize. There were not a lot of pictures...


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of smut at the end.

The insulation was done.

The plumbing was done.

The water heater was installed.

As were the electric cables and wifi.

In the following four months, Erebor was beginning to look like a gothic-modern mix. At last, it was time for the museum to be put together.

Bilbo watched from the shadows as Grey’s archeology team returned. Once the museum was finished, Bilbo felt overwhelmed by the memories surrounding him. There were eight portraits—there were more, but these, Grey decided, worked best for the theme of the museum.

Thorin agreed.

He stared at the one of him and Thorin. It was a controversial piece, as the team had deducted, but a fellow vampire had insisted on painting it, wanting them to seem natural, comfortable in their relationship. Bilbo approached it, tracing lines of Thorin’s face, blocked by the glass.

“Are you impressed?” Thorin asked.

“Yes,” Bilbo said.

“I remember that day,” Thorin said. “The emotion in this one is way before it’s time.”

Bilbo nodded.

A thousand years ago, paintings were reserved for the higher class, they depicted religious figures and Bible stories and if ever lovers were painted, they’d be side by side, doing no more than holding hands.

“The artist believed it was time for a change. I don’t remember his name or where he came from. Only that he was a vampire, too, and that he wanted to paint reality. Meaning he wanted to paint a portrait of lovers who were willing to act like lovers. I don’t recall why he decided that was us.”

He looked down at the table in front of the picture where the letters they had exchanged rested. They laid in a glass case with a modern translation of a few of said letters laminated and laid below the stacks.

“When we started exchanging these,” Bilbo began, “I was so angry at you for not telling me you were a vampire. I was angry you turned me without explaining why.”

“I loved you,” Thorin said. “And you were dying. It was selfish, but I didn’t want to live the rest of my life without you. That first year, I lied so much, you had every right to be angry. I’m still taken aback that you loved me at all after that.”

“Of course I did, you weren’t perfect, but I was safe with you, even when you lied. And the lies stopped after you turned me. After that, you were nothing but honest.”

“Half of which was because you threatened to castrate me if I ever did lie. I happen to be rather attached to my anatomy, thank you.”

Bilbo snorted. “I suppose that would do it. And it was only once!”

“It was effective,” Thorin said. “And remains to be effective.”

Bilbo snorted. “Relax. You’re not going to lose your bits,” he said. “I’ll probably always be mad at you for dying, though.”

Thorin kissed him. “I love you. And I really thought I could handle Azog. I was arrogant and I should have listened to you. But at the same time, as much as it pains me to see how long you’ve lived missing me, I love the family I have now. I love my sister and my nephews.”

Bilbo nodded moving down to a plaque telling about the history of the house. “Will I meet them?”

“Soon. School’s going to be out in a few weeks, they’ll be coming up for the summer. We’ll probably spend a lot of time in Trondheim or Oslo getting the rooms furnished and so on. There’s still a lot to do before we can open shop.”

Bilbo didn’t respond. “Are you okay?” Thorin asked.

Bilbo shook his head. “For centuries I wanted these things buried away. I didn’t want to remember. It hurt too much as it was—” Thorin wrapped him in his arms, hiding his face in Bilbo’s neck.

“I’m here now,” he said. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Except older.”

“It’s just till my nephews are old enough to take care of themselves. When Kili’s eighteen, at least. That’s ten, eleven years.” Thorin kissed his cheek and tightened his hold around him. “I love you, Bilbo.”

The door swung open—they needed to do something about those hinges—and Grey strode inside. “Frodo’s awake,” he said.

Bilbo smiled. “Good to hear.”

“Who’s Frodo?”

“My godson,” Gandalf said at the same time Bilbo said:

“A descendant.” Thorin looked at him. “Of sorts. More related to a cousin long dead by now…”

“Either way you look at it, I have to go back to London. I’ve put Bifur in charge of the group until I return. I’ll be back, hopefully with Frodo. Bilbo.”

“Yes?”

“Stay out of sight.” Bilbo shrugged. “We’re about to have dinner, Thorin, if you’re willing to join us.”

“Yes, of course,” Thorin said. He pecked Bilbo’s cheek. “I’ll be back soon. Stay out of trouble.”

“When do I not?” Bilbo asked, smirking.

Thorin flipped him off and headed up the stairs.

Once the thudding of feet on stairs dulled, Bilbo looked around the museum.

Portraits of him.

Portraits of Thorin.

Their history, their adventures, their _story_ …he wasn’t sure he was ready for it to be known.

#

Frodo was still bedridden by the time Gandalf arrived, but he had been going through physical therapy, frustrated by the lack of progress despite his doctor’s assurances that there _was_ progress.

Gandalf entered the room a bag in his hands. “It’s good to see that you have use of your arms again,” he said as Frodo finished his broth. He set the spoon down. “I brought you some blu rays,” he continued, setting the bag down. “The hits of this year best suited to your age. Though, I think _Frozen_ might not cater to you. No harm giving it a try.”

Frodo didn’t respond, still scowling at his bowl.

Gandalf sighed, setting the bag down. “There’s no need to rush your healing, Frodo.”

“I know,” he said, “But I wish it’d go faster. I hate being useless like this.”

“Useless?” Gandalf repeated, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. “My word, Frodo Baggins, you are _not_ useless. You were comatose for over a year! I was afraid you’d never wake up. But look! You’re awake. You’re eating and talking. It’s more than any of us hoped for. Give it a little more time and you’ll be running again. That’s what it will take: time.”

The room grew silent and Frodo pushed his food away.

“What happened to my parents?” Frodo asked. “I was told I was in a car accident. No one told me anything else. I didn’t ask. I wanted to hear it from you. What happened?”

Gandalf swallowed and sat down, hands clasped as though in prayer. “A truck slammed into them, the driver was drunk. He’d already been taken care of, in prison for life…you were the only one who survived the wreck. The only one the firemen could get out before the car exploded. You’re parents were already dead, you were dying…your doctors managed to stabilize you, after that, it was a matter of whether or not you’d wake up.”

Frodo stared at his hands. “When did I start waking up?”

“Five, maybe six months ago.”

“And what happens now that I’m awake?”

“You get better. You’re parents made me your guardian in the event that they couldn’t take care of you anymore. Right now, I’m working on a project in Norway with a fellow historian. A vampire castle. When you’re able to leave the hospital, I was going to bring you with me.”

“And when will that be? When I can walk?”

“When the doctor’s decide you can travel safely,” Gandalf said. “I brought some pictures of the castle, before and after. It’s still in the process of renovation, but it’s current owner intends to open a hotel and museum there. We’re not sure it will get enough revenue for it to be his only source of income, but it’ll be beautiful nevertheless when it’s done. I’m sure.”

As he spoke, he pulled out a few photographs taken with a disposable camera and handed them to Frodo to look through. Frodo thumbed through them, spreading the photos over his bed face down.

“It’s something to look forward to, don’t you think?”

“Maybe,” Frodo said. Two raps to the door was the only warning they received before one of the doctors stepped in.

“Dr. Grey, may I have a word?”

Gandalf stood and ruffled Frodo’s hair before following the doctor out.

“So…”

“It’s about the man you brought last time you visited,” the doctor said. “When he woke, Frodo asked after him.”

“Really?” Gandalf thought Frodo wouldn’t remember.

“He hasn’t mentioned him since, but I can’t find record of the man. Not in the archives nor the security…” Gandalf hummed.

“Well, perhaps they’d been tampered with? I’d check for that. Wouldn’t want a security breach, would we? I’m sure I can get him on the phone.”

“Who is he? The man you brought?”

“A family friend,” Gandalf said. “Nothing to worry about.”

He patted the doctor’s shoulder and excused himself for tea. He’d need it.

#

“I need you to use your brain bleach on me,” Thorin said, finding Bilbo on the roof, legs swinging off the edge. Bilbo furrowed his brow.

“Why?”

“You think I want to walk in on my best friend’s ass?” Thorin asked. “No. I do not.”

Bilbo smirked. “Let me guess: Dwalin and Ori were doing the do again in a semi-public place.”

“Again?!”

“Yeah, if I can’t, uh, ‘brain bleach’ that from my mind, why should I spare you? I’m starting to think half the fun of it for them is the possibility of getting caught.”

Thorin groaned, running his hand through his hair. Bilbo jumped down, landing on the balcony and kissing him.

“Perhaps, if I were to make myself known, we could get our revenge,” he purred, plucking at the buttons of Thorin’s shirt and watching him blush.

“I’d rather not.”

“Have it your way, I’m growing bored of this waiting game, though.”

So was Thorin, to be honest. He looked over his shoulder, biting his lip.

“What is it?”

Thorin closed the door leading up and it banged shut. Another door needing to be replaced still, but for now, he didn’t care.

He returned to Bilbo’s side and took his shoulders, pushing him against the wall and kissing him, biting his lip and growling. He bracketed Bilbo in, pushing their hips together and grinding down. He watched Bilbo’s eyes dilate, the fangs make themselves known…

He supposed he’d get bitten, but the thought was a brief one as he undid their trousers and pulled their cocks out, stroking. Bilbo’s head rolled back, banging the wall as he rolled his hips.

Bilbo’s hands fisted at Thorin’s shirt, nearly ripping it before he pushed Thorin off and pinned him against the wall, biting his neck.

Thorin gasped, the pain taking some of the pleasure away, but eventually, it died to a throb.

Bilbo’s fingers gripped his ass, the pad of a finger rubbing against his hole as he licked the wound. He moved his hands down a little further, stroking Thorin’s perineum…

Thorin’s hips rocked shakily as he climaxed. Bilbo unlatched himself from Thorin’s neck and stared at the mess between them.

“I’ve forgotten that was what it was like.”

“Vampires don’t orgasm?”

“Not the same way humans do,” Bilbo said, swiping a bit of come off Thorin with his finger and sticking it in his mouth. “I’ve forgotten what it feels like, how it tastes…how _messy_ it was and annoying.”

“What is a vampire’s orgasm? If I may ask…”

Bilbo arched a brow, and brushed his thumbs over the bite mark.

“That,” he said. “It could be different for others, but for me, it was always linked to feeding. Every time I’ve been aroused, I’ve gotten hungry. So did you, if you recall.”

Thorin did, but he hadn’t seen it as a connection.

Maybe he had simply forgotten.

Bilbo swiped another line of cum with his finger.

“Do you like the taste?” Thorin asked.

“It’s not blood, but it’s…different.”

He knelt at Thorin’s feet and gripped his limp cock, running the pad of his thumb around the head and Thorin’s hips canted.

“I avoid putting this in my mouth,” Bilbo said. “I’ve always worried that I’d hurt my partner—even when it wasn’t you, I didn’t…”

“No, I understand. You know, I’m not mad you had other partners after me, Bilbo. I couldn’t be mad about that if I wanted. I never wanted you to be alone.”

“But even with them, I was alone. I wanted you.”

Thorin leaned against the wall, biting down a moan. “You don’t have to put it in your mouth, but maybe use your tongue.”

Bilbo looked at him.

“Please.”

The door banged, but didn’t budge. Bilbo let go and Thorin cursed as he put himself away and Bilbo disappeared. Thorin glared at where he had stood.

The banging continued.

“For fuck’s sake!” Thorin swore, yanking it open to yell at Nori. “Can’t I get a moment’s peace?!”

Nori smirked, looking at his shirt. “Methinks you’ve had enough of a moment of peace,” he said. Thorin’s blush deepened. “Go take a shower and join us for dinner, yeah?”

“Sure…”


	15. Chapter 15

Fili stared at the castle in awestruck stupor. He felt giddy on entering. Kili right behind him. His brother was less than enthusiastic, but the place wasn’t as dark as he expected it’d be nor as dank. Where Kili had not been that keen on leaving home for any reason, Fili had inhaled as much vampire lore as he could. Not for the sake of scaring Kili. No. His brother was young and though everyone had assured him vampires weren’t real, Fili supposed a little lore wouldn’t hurt to help Kili sleep better at night.

“Remember, they can’t come in unless you invite them.”

“Put a line of sand or salt in front of the door. They’ll have to count it.”

“We could put up a net. They’d have to undo every knot.”

“They don’t like crosses.”

“Or Garlic.”

“Or silver. But I don’t think we’re going to get any silver.”

“Vampires have a lot of weaknesses,” Dis exclaimed.

“Kind of lame, right?” Fili asked, shrugging. The doors opened and Kili ran over to Thorin, who scooped him up and over his shoulder.

“You know, you’re too old for this, kid.”

“Never!”

Thorin rolled his eyes and approached them. “Dis.”

“Thorin,” she replied. They snickered and she took Kili from him. “You look good. Any more weird visions?”

“Nope—”

“You must be Dis.”

Thorin spun around and Fili looked over at the man approaching them. There was something ethereal about him, as far as Fili could tell. Kili sensed it too, given how he hid behind Fili and went strangely quiet. Quieter than before.

“I am. Who are you?”

“Oh, I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of me yet. Thorin and I recently started dating,” he held his hand out. “Bilbo Baggins, at your service.”

Fili watched the smirk rise on his mother’s face and she grasped the man’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Bilbo. I take it you’ve also heard of my sons.”

“I have,” he said, smiling at them. Kili tugged on Fili’s hoodie.

“Is he a vampire?”

“No,” Fili whispered. “Vampires don’t go out in daylight.”

“Are you sure?”

Fili covered Kili’s mouth with his hand. “Sorry, he’s not that excited to be here. Nice to meet you, Mr. Baggins,” he said, ignoring how Kili licked his hand. After being subjected to it since Kili was four, he grew used to it. It was only when he started biting that Fili would pull away.

Fili shook his hand and glared at Kili, who stuck his tongue out. Thorin had hidden his face in his hands.

“May I ask how you met?”

“I actually also have some sort of heritage claim to the castle,” Bilbo said. Fili arched a brow, unsure what to believe. “The lord of the castle’s lover was an ancestor of mine, it turns out and after his death, said ancestor stayed around.”

“Must have married,” Dis said.

“Likely the only explanation,” Bilbo said, shrugging. “I don’t mind the changes. I was just going to hand it over to the state, but this way it can be put to better use. Who wouldn’t want to stay in a haunted house?”

Kili raised his hand. “I don’t.”

“Oh, Kili,” Dis sighed. Thorin had long hidden his face behind his hand. Bilbo knelt, smiling.

“Here,” he said, handing Kili a necklace with three pendants. “This is St. Nicholas of Myra,” he said holding up the pendant on the right. “This one,” he moved to the center, “is St. Raymond Nonnatus, and this one, is St. Nicholas of Tolentino. All three are known to be protectors of children.”

“It’s just a necklace. It can’t do anything.”

“Only if you believe it can’t,” Bilbo said. “Half the work is linked to faith. If you believe in monsters, then it is very important to believe in good creatures, too, right? Angels, some fairies. There’s a lot of scary things, but for every scary thing, there’s two not-so-scary things. And one day, you’ll know that you are strong enough to overcome the things that scare you. Guess what? Today is that day.”

He pressed the necklace in Kili’s hand. Kili stared at it for a moment before putting it on.

“Thanks Mr. Boggins.” Fili nudged him.

“Baggins,” he whispered. “Its’ _Baggins_ , Ki.”

“That’s what I said.”

“No, it’s not.”

“How about we go inside,” Thorin said, rubbing the back of his neck. He was hiding something or embarrassed. Fili wasn’t sure what, but he was going to find out.

“Sure,” Dis said.

“Fili, you should know there’s a boy here about your age,” Thorin said. “The lead archeologist, Gandalf Grey, brought his godson.”

“How come Fili gets to know him?”

“They’re the same age, Ki, but I’m sure they won’t mind if you play with them,” Thorin said, fixing Fili with a stare.  _Let him join or else_ , it said. Fili shrugged. If the archeologist’s godson has a problem with it, then they wouldn’t get along. Inside, Fili expected dim lighting. He knew the castle had been redecorated and the like, but still was surprised by the bright lighting and smooth drywall.

“Front entrance has been done and a few of the rooms have been taken care of, thank God,” Thorin informed Dis. “Before we got the rooms done, we were camping in this room.”

Fili winced. That couldn’t have been good for Thorin’s back. Fili looked at the bright red carpet. There were flecks of yellow in it. He didn’t see the point to why. He looked up at his mom and uncle. The mysterious boyfriend’s hand was clasped in Thorin’s. Fili wasn’t convinced of his identity. There was something off about him, cold, aloof, and yet also wise. Kili might be wearing the necklace now, but he was just as unconvinced as Fili was. Whoever Bilbo was, he was lying. And Thorin knew it.

In the corner was a boy restricted to a wheelchair. His eyes met Fili’s. They were hostile and sad. The boy was pale and his dark hair had hints of blue from the light.

“Is that the godson?” Kili asked.

“ _He_ is,” Thorin corrected with a measure of exasperation.

Fili tried to stop Kili from going over to him, but Kili slipped past him. He just _knew_ Kili would say something offensive or thoughtless if not watched…with little other option, Fili followed. “Why are you in a wheelchair?”

_Damn it, Kili…_

The boy didn’t respond, brow furrowed and the closer Fili got, the more he realized it was in confusion, not anger.

“Sorry about him,” Fili said in English. “He actually asked a rude question. No filter.”

“He’s a kid,” the boy said with a shrug.

“So are we,” Fili said.

“We’re older,” the boy said, lips quirking in a smirk. He was actually quite cute. In a way. “So I think our filter is a bit more developed.”

Fili arched a brow and stuck his hand out. “Fili. This is my brother, Kili.”

“Frodo,” he replied, grasping Fili’s hand. “And before you ask, I’m in a wheelchair because I’m still relearning how to walk. I’ve been comatose for nearly a year. Woke up a few weeks ago. And no, I don’t mind people knowing. They’re going to be curious anyway, so why not?”

“I suppose that makes sense,” Fili said. “Though I wasn’t going to ask.” Frodo shrugged again. “Thorin’s my uncle.”

“Bilbo’s mine. Sort of. It’s complicated…”

“I thought you were the lead archeologist’s godson.”

“Gandalf? Yeah. I am. He’s my guardian, but he’s been trying to pass me onto Bilbo.”

“Why?” Fili asked before he could stop himself.

“He seems to think I’d like Bilbo more.”

Fili glanced at Bilbo. “I don’t know. He’s kind of…”

“Creepy?”

“Something like that. Like he’s got something to hide.”

“He probably does,” Frodo said. “But he’s not a bad person if that’s what worries you. You can trust him.” Fili looked at him, eyes narrowed.

“You know what it is.”

“I do. You don’t want to know, but you can rest assured he isn’t a bad person. Just…unlucky, I suppose.” Frodo pushed himself backwards. “Hungry? I think lunch is about to be served.”

Fili translated the question for Kili, who nodded, put out by the language barrier.

#

“What are you doing?” Thorin hissed at Bilbo when Dis had gone to talk to Nori. “Did you brainwash everyone to think you’ve been here the whole time.”

“I _have_ been here the whole time.”

“You know what I mean!”

“I do,” Bilbo said. “And yes. How else was I going to meet your sister?”

“Bilbo—”

“Relax,” he said. “She’ll find out the truth eventually. But for now, it’d be best to keep her in the dark.”

“Isn’t that what you tried with me?”

“It is, but that didn’t work out as well as I hoped, as you know.” Bilbo pulled Thorin between his legs and kissed him. “I have this handled. And it’s not like you’re the only other person who knows. Gandalf knows. Frodo knows, though I do worry about him knowing…”

“And when they go downstairs? See the portraits?”

“Thorin, they’ll just think the genetics are uncanny. That is all.” Bilbo kissed his cheek. "They'll think the same when they see your portrait anyway."

“I hope you’re right.”

“I know I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saints of children found here: http://www.catholic.org/saints/patron.php?letter=C


	16. Chapter 16

“Have you any idea what he’s planning?” Thorin asked, watching Bilbo laugh with Ori.

Gandalf hummed.

“I can’t help but feel he’s up to something.”

“Getting to know your family isn’t enough of a reason for him to take this risk?” he asked. “From what I can tell, he wanted to know your family after hearing about them. You _did_ talk to him about them, didn’t you?” Thorin rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yes.”

“There you are, then,” he said. “His existence has been a lonely one. It’s about to get not so lonely. If you insist on not becoming a vampire till your nephews are adults, then why not let him be a part of the family, accepted by them. It looks like your sister likes Bilbo anyway.”

“Yes,” Thorin said, smiling. “She does. She’s shrewd, though. She’ll figure out what he is and when that happens, I’m afraid she’ll blame me for putting Fili and Kili in danger.”

“Are they? Would Bilbo hurt them?”

Thorin took a dreg of wine, contemplating that question.

“I don’t think he would. At least not intentionally, but he is a vampire, Gandalf. And accidents happen. The ones that could happen because he decided to be reckless…I don’t want to think of them.”

Gandalf took a sip. “He loves you, you know.”

“I do.”

“And you’d been separated for centuries because of death—though there is a wonderful quote I happen to like. Quite suits you and Bilbo: death does not stop true love. It can only delay it for a little while.”

“A thousand years is not a little while,” Thorin said.

“But is it not true? Especially in this case?”

“Yeah,” Thorin agreed. “It’s true.”

“In which case, perhaps, rather than see Bilbo as being reckless, how about you see him as a man who had lived a very long and lonely life and now that you two are reunited, it would not be too far a stretch to guess that he does not want to be some secret to your family.

“Perhaps he thinks that might be too hard to handle. If your sister is as shrewd as you say she is, she’d eventually find out. And your nephews are a curious pair. They’d get it out of Frodo sooner or later.”

Gandalf patted Thorin’s shoulder and joined Nori while Thorin stayed near the wall, watching the group as they welcomed Dis and the boys. Bilbo caught him staring and grinned.

Thorin returned the smile as Kili ran to him and tugged on his jacket.

“Why are some places still being put together, Uncle Thorin?” he asked.

“Because we haven’t gotten to them yet, and we still have to work on our rooms,” he said. “You, me, Mum, and Fili will be living in a little housing unit. Plus, we wanted to get the museum and the dining areas ready first. Be glad we _have_ beds to sleep in.”

“I am.”

“Good to know,” Thorin said, ruffling his hair.

“Do you really like Bilbo?”

Thorin blinked and stared at Kili. “I do. Do you think I shouldn’t? Don’t you like the necklace he gave you?”

Kili shrugged. “It’s not that, it’s just…there’s something scary about him.”

_How does he…he couldn’t know._

“You know I won’t let anyone hurt you, Kili. That goes for Bilbo, too. I don’t think he will hurt you.”

“But if he does?”

“Tell me.”

“Adults don’t believe kids though. You won’t believe me.”

Thorin’s heart broke. Kili shouldn’t feel like that! Aside from the hurt, it worried him. “Had something happened that you never told anyone? Not even Mum?”

Kili blinked. “No. That’s just the truth, isn’t it? Fili said adults don’t listen to kids because they think they know better and that we don’t. Nothing happened to me. Promise.”

Thorin knelt, setting the wine glass down and took Kili’s shoulders. “Would you tell me if something happened to you? Would you trust me enough to know I’d help?” Kili bit his lip. “Kili, it is very important that you trust me and your mum. We can’t protect you, or Fili, if you don’t talk to us.”

“I’m fine, uncle.”

“Will you tell us?”

Kili nodded. Thorin pulled him into a hug and caught Bilbo’s glance.

_What is it? You’re scared._

Thorin blinked averted his gaze.

 _The children are safe,_ Bilbo said. _If you are unsure, I can do a check. A mind sweep of sorts. See if there is something wrong…_

Thorin bit his lip, releasing Kili. He picked up the glass and approached Bilbo. “Not without their consent. Which means telling them that you’re…you know. Kili just said something to me that worries me. He told me I’m being paranoid, but I…he’s scared of you.”

“Children are more intuitive, more apt to see through the bullshit because they’re more apt to believe the bullshit. You think Kili can handle it? Or keep a secret?”

“I don’t know,” Thorin admitted.

“Telling your nephews the truth is one step away from telling you sister.”

“She wouldn’t believe you anyway.”

“Frodo knows what I am. I don’t know how, but when we saw each other again, he knew who I was and wouldn’t shut up.”

"He knew you were a...you know what?"

“He did. I was visible and talking to Gandalf in the hallway. He’s very quiet. Hey, I won’t hurt them. Children are precious and turning them is a very bad idea. I can’t even begin to list all the reasons why. It’s bad. Very bad.” Bilbo embraced him and kissed him. “I’m sure it’s nothing. But would you like me to talk to Kili? Not alone. It’d be best if you were present to calm him down if I tell him the truth.”

“You’re sure?”

“He looks like a smart kid. He’ll figure it out sooner or later. Especially if he’s scared,” Bilbo squeezed his hand. “It’s up to you, though. He’s your nephew.”

Thorin looked at Kili. “I don’t want him to be scared. Nor do I want him to think he can’t trust me or his mother. Or you, if the future. I’m betting a lot, but I trust you.” Bilbo nodded and they approached Kili. He looked at them then scowled.

“You told him?!”

“Only that you’re scared of me, so I figured I’d let you in on our secret,” Bilbo promised.

Thorin couldn’t imagine this going well, but Bilbo explained who he was, what he did, and promised that he’d prove it to Kili later.

Thorin continued to glance around nervously and once or twice caught Dis’ eye. He smiled at her as she arched a brow or narrowed her eyes, wondering if she was needed. Thorin hoped smiling at her would assure her that he had it under control.

“Fili said you couldn’t enter houses.”

“That’s maddeningly inconvenient,” Bilbo said.

“What about salt lines?”

“Always saw that as a waste of perfectly good salt. Back then, all those years ago, salt was used to preserve food.”

 “What about silver?”

 “Silver can hurt us, but this necklace is sterling silver. That’s primarily made from copper, so it won’t hurt me. Silver works like…a burn. We touch it we get hurt and it’ll scar, like this.” Bilbo pulled his sleeve up to show a large scar that Thorin had not seen. “Silver is only fatal if we’re stabbed in the heart with it.”

“Is that the way to kill a vampire?”

“Yes. Stab a vampire in the heart and he or she will burst into flames. I’m trusting you with that information, Kili, so please don’t kill me.” Kili managed a small smile. Bilbo leaned on the table. “It’s okay to be scared of me. A lot of people are. And you should be. I _am_ dangerous. But that doesn’t mean I want to hurt you or anyone you know. I really do love your uncle. And he’s worried.”

“But I’m fine.”

“We just want to make sure,” Bilbo said. “What I’ll do is I’ll read your mind and if I find anything that we should be concerned about, I’ll get rid of the memory and take care of the people who hurt you. That’s it.”

“And if you find nothing?”

“Then I find nothing and your uncle will be at peace.”

“What about lies?”

“Would you lie?”

“Everyone lies.”

Bilbo nodded. “They do.” He winked. “I’ll keep it secret.”

Kili huffed. “Okay, but you’re likely just going to find that I got onto Fili’s Tumblr because it won’t let me make my own.”

“What’s tumbler?”

“A website,” Thorin said. “I’ve seen it, don’t have one, but dear god, some of what…why would you want one?”

“It’s not like I look at porn!”

Bilbo’s eyebrows rose and Thorin hid his face in his hand.

“What?!” Dis shrieked.

“Oh, wonderful.”

“One word about what I am—”

“I’d be more worried about what she’s going to—hi, Dis. I got this. It was just…Tumblr. Yeah.”

“Why would he be looking at porn on Tumblr?”

“I don’t,” Kili assured her. Then he smirked. “But Fili does.”

“Kili, that isn’t helping,” Thorin said.

Bilbo stood. “I’m going to make a tactical retreat.”

“Good idea,” Thorin said.


	17. Chapter 17

Thorin collapsed on a bed and sighed. He barely noticed the wisp of smoke flowing from under the doorway, but when a solid weight joined him on the bed, he mumbled, “Hello, Bilbo,” and looked at him. “Dis didn’t go after you, did she?”

“Thankfully not,” Bilbo said, shaking his head. He kissed Thorin’s cheek and nuzzled closer to him. “She thanked me for talking to Kili, actually. Though I don’t think he and Fili got away from that tongue of hers. Your sister is quite the woman.”

“I’m sure she’s not the sort you’re used to seeing.”

“Actually, I was reminded of my mother,” he said. “She was the daughter of a duke and she was very formidable, if you must know.”

“Really?”

“She used to disguise herself as a man and traveled till she married. And after she did, my father learned to include her in his work. Everything went smoother when they worked together.”

“Had you siblings?”

“None that lived to term, I think is how it’s said. So it was quite a celebration when I managed to live to my first birthday.”

“I suppose you weren’t healthy?”

“Not as healthy as hoped for,” Bilbo admitted, “But I got better. Stronger. I was a lot like her, actually, if my father is to be believed. And in the end, I traveled same as her, except I didn’t have to disguise myself. I don’t know what happened to them after I met you the first time around. I sent word that I had fallen in love, but I never received word. From them. I don’t know what happened.”

“I’m sorry.”

Bilbo shook his head “Just because I don’t know what happened doesn’t mean I regret it.”

“I know you don’t, but it must be hard not knowing what happened to them.”

“A little bit,” Bilbo admitted. “After this long, it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

“They were your parents. That has to matter a little bit.”

“Maybe once it did,” Bilbo said. “Now, though?” he shrugged. “I’ll like find nothing. It’s been too long. Not everyone is remembered, Thorin. And everything has changed.”

Thorin couldn’t reply. He wished he could say something to comfort Bilbo. But really there wasn’t anything he could say. He wondered if it was worth it, turning him all those years ago. He had no doubt that he loved Bilbo then as much as he did now, but was turning him really worth it. True, Bilbo was dying, but at what cost?

Bilbo straddled his waist and kissed him. “You think too loudly.”

“And you’re reading my mind without permission.”

“Can’t help it. You were so quiet,” Bilbo said. “I don’t regret a moment spent with you. Not then and certainly not now.”

Thorin hummed. “I know this is real but sometimes I’m not so sure.”

“I get that. When I was first turned, I had difficulty believing it too.” Bilbo stroked Thorin’s cheek with the back of his hand and pressed their foreheads together. “But it does get easier. And there may be a day Kili will tell me that he _knows_ I lied to him tonight. I sort of look forward to that just for the sake of having an opportunity to act indignant.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, just sounds like fun.”

“By then he’ll be a teenager. I can’t imagine what that would be like!” Thorin laughed and Bilbo’s grin widened. “You don’t smile enough.”

“I smile plenty.”

“So you had said before, but I love your smile. It’s beautiful.” Thorin felt his face warm and turned his head to the side to avoid Bilbo’s gaze. “As are your eyes,” Bilbo whispered in his ear. “And the way your cheeks turn red. Like right now. When I knew you, you had silver in your hair. It was very regal so I can’t wait to see them. I always loved your neck the most, though,” he ran a finger over Thorin’s pulse, “It’s always been a beautiful neck.” He sniggered. “You look like a tomato.”

“And that was not complimentary at all,” Thorin snapped, pushing Bilbo off and whacking him with a pillow. Bilbo laughed, clutching his stomach. Thorin crawled on top of him and dug his hands into Bilbo’s sides, earning a shriek and a warning look mingled with fear. “You are ticklish.”

“Of all the things to remember that was one I really hoped you would— _ack!_ No! Get o-o-off! Get off me you oaf!” Bilbo slapped his hands away, cackling. He wrapped his legs around Thorin’s waist and turned them over, pinning Thorin’s hands to the bed.

“Are you always so mindful of your strength?”

His smile dimmed. “I’m quite certain if I weren’t careful I might hurt you,” Bilbo whispered. “You’re human, Thorin. It’d be too easy to hurt you.” he let go of his wrist. “Or worse. I won’t lose you again. I couldn’t bear it. Not again.”

Thorin embraced him and pet his hair. “I know I can’t stop you from thinking about that time, but I’m not going anywhere.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t.”

“Then don’t promise me something you can’t be sure of,” Bilbo snarled. He buried his face in Thorin’s shirt. Thorin dragged his nails over Bilbo’s back, slowly falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, yet again, I am zapped of inspiration...can't think of anything save for this short piece of fluff and angst. I swear I have a plot coming along and I just...Ugh...I hope I'll have something more that moves the story along next week (maybe sooner if I'm lucky)


	18. Chapter 18

Bilbo’s teeth sunk into Thorin’s neck as Thorin bucked into him. There were many interesting advantages to having an undead lover. The strange feeling of his teeth embedded in his neck was one of them. The way he refused to top another.

His legs wrapped around Thorin’s torso and his nails dug into the skin of his back. He pulled his teeth out and pushed Thorin onto his back. He didn’t move, staring at Thorin instead.

“I can’t do this,” Bilbo sighed, climbing off. Thorin sat up.

“Okay,” Thorin said. “Is everything all right?”

“This is how I ended up becoming what I am,” Bilbo said. Thorin nodded.

 “We’ll be more careful.”

Bilbo blinked and touched Thorin’s neck where the blood still trickled. “I don’t think it matters how careful we are,” he said, pulling his bloodied fingers away and licking them clean.

Thorin sat up. “They are wounds. They’ll heal,” he said. “And, you know, if you don’t want to bite me, there are…ways to make that work.”

“Such as?” Bilbo asked, arching a brow.

Thorin smirked and climbed out of bed to grab his iPad. He pulled the blanket over his lap and a few second later showed Bilbo an array of gags they could use. “It’s an option,” he said. “If you’re certain you can’t control your need to feed on me. Or whatever you call it.” His smirk widened. “If you like I could also tie you to the bed. Would reduce any blood-drawing scratches.”

“Since when has it been acceptable to flog one’s partner? I don’t know about you, but that seems rather barbaric to me.”

“You don’t have to draw blood…” Thorin said, trying to keep quiet. God help him if Dis heard them. “Some people like something more hardcore in their relationship and some of them go for BDSM.”

“But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“There’s pleasure in pain too,” Thorin said, squeezing his shoulder. “I don’t mind it. At most it stings. You’re not the first lover I’ve had that scratched me.”

“Perhaps the first to draw blood.”

“Maybe. But these option are open if you’d like to explore them. I kind of like the idea of tying you up.” Bilbo stuck his tongue at him. “Just think about it.”

“I’ll do that, but no whips.”

“Okay,” Thorin said.

He kissed Bilbo’s cheek and went to go take a shower, grateful for Dwalin’s hard work. Without him, they wouldn’t have functional bathtubs and showers. He hissed as the water dripped into the wounds and washed away the blood, especially around his neck where the blood already began to solidify and to begin the healing process.

Once clean, Thorin inspected the wounds on his back. They were raw rather than bloody, so there was that. The pink-red scars wouldn’t take as long to heal compared to the pin pricks on his neck.” He dried off and dabbed some Neosporin on his neck.

He left the bathroom and dressed, glancing at Bilbo, who was staring at the iPad and looking through them. “All right?” Thorin asked. Bilbo looked up and nodded.

“I’m figuring out how to use this…I can’t tell if the progress in technology over the last century is getting harder or easier.”

“Well, I count it a win that you don’t yell at the telly.”

“I used to. Smaug told me I looked like an idiot.”

“I doubt that. You’re a thousand years old. It must be hard to keep up with change.”

“A bit. What I hate most is how phones keep changing.” He dove for his jeans and pulled out a phone. “These used to have buttons. Now it’s so fragile and complex I don’t know how to use _half_ of what it’s capable of.”

Thorin snorted and kissed him. “I love you, my silly old man.” Bilbo shoved him, glaring at him as Thorin laughed. “Water’s still hot if you want a shower. As for myself, I’m going to go have breakfast.” He kissed Bilbo’s cheek.

Bilbo took his hand, halting him. “Do you think a gag and restraints would work?”

“I think if you’d like, it wouldn’t hurt to try,” Thorin said. “Though, you said that biting and drinking your partner’s blood is equivalent to an orgasm?”

“I’ve not had the sort humans have in a long time.”

“Then it might be a little bit like orgasm denial.”

“So long as it keeps me from hurting you, I think I can handle it.”

Thorin sat down and kissed his forehead. “Dis and I are going into town today to pick up some orders. New wallpaper and order furniture. Would you like to come with us? While she’s doing that, we can visit a shop and see what’s available.”

“There are _shops_?!”

Thorin nodded. “It’s not as bad as you think. But you know what, I will make a video of this and send it to the vampires you still have contact with because it will be too funny.”

“Recording my discomfort and humiliation?” Bilbo asked.

“Now you’re making it sound worse than it actually is,” Thorin said, pouting. “Okay, I won’t. I’ll keep it for my own entertainment.”

Bilbo grabbed the pillow behind him and it Thorin’s shoulder. Thorin laughed, jumping back toward the door. “I’m just teasing, love.”

“I’m aware,” Bilbo said. “I’ll meet you and Dis downstairs in a few minutes.”

Thorin smiled. “Okay. Bilbo.”

“Yes?”

“I won’t be upset if you change your mind and decide you don’t want to go to a sex shop.” Bilbo blushed and grabbed the pillow again. Thorin dove out of the room, sniggering, and went downstairs. Dis arched a brow at him. “Bilbo is coming with us.”

“Fine by me,” she said, “I wouldn’t mind having another adult around to help with the boys. Gandalf said we could take Frodo with us if he wanted.”

“Okay,” he said, shrugging. Ditching them to take Bilbo to a sex shop might be difficult, but he could find a way to sneak past his sister and possibly two teenagers and a child.

He piled three waffles on his plate and sat beside her, adding strawberries and cream to top it off.

“So,” he said taking a bite out of his waffle. “When do we leave?”

“My guess? An hour at most.”

He nodded. It would be an eventful day. He just knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter...lots to do today.
> 
> Next week: IKEA and embarrassment...and something horrible...
> 
> PS: CONGRATS TO EVERYONE WHO CAN NOW LEGALLY GET MARRIED NATIONWIDE IN THE USA TODAY 6/26/15


	19. Chapter 19

Frodo went in after Fili and Kili, blushing madly as Thorin lifted him from the wheelchair set in the car while Bilbo folded the chair up and put it in the back seat. After the boys settled in, Dis went in the back with them, mostly for Kili, leaving Thorin and Bilbo in the front seat.

“You’re not so old that you don’t drive or have been in a car, right?” Thorin asked before getting in.

Bilbo rolled his eyes. “Relax, I’ve been in a car at least twenty times as they evolved. But I don’t drive. Easier to fly,” he kissed Thorin’s cheek. “Shall we go?”

Thorin smiled. “Get in. I warn you: driving with children makes the drive more stressful than fun.”

“Isn’t that always the case?” Bilbo asked, getting in.

Thorin rolled his eyes and off they went into Trondheim. The ride was mostly Kili being rambunctious and nearly shouting one thing or another in Dis’ ear or Fili’s, excited as he was to get out of the castle, which he proclaimed “boringer than graveyards.” Thorin hadn’t the heart to tell him that “boringer” wasn’t a word.

He couldn’t exactly be angry at Kili’s attitude. He did have a little too much sugar earlier and now he’s confined in a car with no one his age and the two who are closest seem to be deep in their own world. From what Thorin could tell, Fili was doing all he could to get Frodo to blush.

“Seems someone has a crush,” Bilbo said, smirking.

“Seems like it,” Thorin said. “When did Fili and Frodo get close? They’ve only been here a couple days.”

“It’s easy to become friends with someone when there’s only one other person your age around. Crushes are a little harder to come across.” Thorin somewhat agreed. Fili had mentioned that he liked both boys and girls before and while Thorin couldn’t help him with the girls, he had tried with the boys. He had been certain he fucked up, though. Perhaps not.

 _Finally_ , after three hours or so in a car with Kili all but screaming, they reached IKEA. Thorin turned to Bilbo and smirked. “Whatever you do, stay with us. We don’t want you getting lost in there.”

“Seriously?”

“No, you really could get lost in there,” Thorin said.

Frodo leaned forward, smirking. “Rumor has it that anyone who gets lost in IKEA then becomes an associate if they are not out of there by closing. They just hand them the uniform and shit.”

“Seriously?” Bilbo asked again, squeaking.

“No,” Thorin said, “He’s teasing.”

Frodo leaned back in his seat and waited to be helped out. Thorin stepped out with the others. He went to help Frodo, but Fili had already done so, an arm around Frodo’s waist and the other gripping his wrist around his neck. He was strong enough to wait till the wheelchair was set up before helping Frodo in it and whispered in his ear. Bilbo smiled and Thorin guessed he overheard what Fili had said to Frodo. He decided to wait and ask when the boys weren’t around. Together, they entered the store and Bilbo’s eyes widened.

“Big, isn’t it?”

“Very.”

“Now you know why it’s easy to get lost, right?”

“I suppose.”

“Come on,” Dis said. “I want to find the décor I like best.”

“Can we start with the bedding?” Thorin asked.

“We already know we’re using regular bedframes,” Dis said.

“But not the mattresses or the sheets or—”

“Then stop complaining and hurry up,” she said, taking Kili’s hand in her own. Thorin rolled his eyes and they followed her to the bedroom section. Already she had cornered an associate and explaining what it was she wanted. Bilbo looked around wildly as though he simply hadn’t enough eyes.

“There is so much here. And everything’s simpler than before. There had been a time where furniture would have stories carved into them.” Thorin nodded. He could guess. While Dis worked with the associate, Thorin decided to find textile examples for the rooms and took Fili, Frodo, and Bilbo with him.

“Remember it has to be nice, not manly,” he snapped at the boys as they went off. “Fili slow down!”

He did so. “Sorry, Uncle.”

Thorin massaged his forehead and while the lads looked at patterns, Thorin looked at some black and white or white and grey sheets before settling on two options to show Dis. He glanced at the boys. “Those won’t do for the guests, lads,” he said. “But if you want one for your own beds, choose one and Frodo, we’ll call Gandalf before making any decisions.”

“Really?!”

Thorin didn’t see why not. He looked at Bilbo who was looking at some blankets. He approached them. “You know, I never saw where you slept,” Thorin said.

“I don’t need to,” he said. “Perk of being dead, I suppose. But the act of sleeping is still enjoyable, so many vampires still sleep.” He looked at Thorin. “We used to have a bed. A feather mattress—you’ve no idea how expensive those were back then. Linen sheets and fur blankets…”

He remembered. “Well, they smell nicer now,” he said, kissing Bilbo’s cheek. “And they feel nicer, too. They won’t itch or get fleas.”

“That I’m not so sure of,” Bilbo said.

Thorin chuckled and looked at the boys again. “Have you found something you like?” They nodded. “Okay, let’s go find Dis and Kili.” Frodo took the package from Fili so he could be pushed, following Thorin and Bilbo through the aisles.

“Wasn’t the bed section over there?” Bilbo asked, pointing behind them. Thorin paused and sighed. Fili smirked.

“Still gonna get lost in IKEA?”

“If we’re lucky we won’t end up working here.”

Thorin looked at Frodo. “Tell me you don’t actually believe that?”

“No, but it’s still funny.”

Thorin was going to respond. Likely something witty, but was cut off by a loud crash and screaming. Bilbo broke away from Thorin and pushed past the crowd. Thorin glanced at the boys and knelt. “Fili, Frodo,” he said, “Stay here.”

“But—”

“I’ll be right back. Just stay put.” Thorin followed Bilbo, who was helping a few other men pull a shelf off someone. Kili was crying in the corner, held back by an associate. Thorin pushed his way over to them and Kili ran to him. “What happened? Are you okay? Where’s you mom?” Kili hyperventilated as he pointed at the woman who’s head was bleeding onto the floor and Thorin felt chills crawl down his spine as Bilbo knelt and touched Dis’ neck.

“She’s alive!” He said.

“Has someone called an ambulance yet?” Thorin asked.

The associate nodded. “Yes, they’re being contacted right now.” Bilbo glanced at Thorin and exhaled.

_She’s still alive. What do you want me to do if that  changes?_

Thorin didn’t respond.

_I can save her. She’ll be a vampire, but she’ll be alive and the boys won’t lose their mother._

Thorin picked Kili up. _Let’s not worry about that till we know for sure what is going to happen to her._

Bilbo nodded and someone handed him a towel, which he pressed against Dis’ wound.

#

Smaug watched from the wall, pretending to be on his phone as Dis Durin was brought out on a gurney. It really was a pity. She was a beautiful woman. Bilbo and Thorin followed with the children. The younger one wouldn’t stop weeping and the older was shaken.

He turned his back to them. He didn’t want Bilbo to see him. If he did, well, that might lead to Bilbo getting suspicious. And Smaug _certainly_ didn’t want his _master_ to doubt his loyalty.

Once the Durins and Bilbo were gone, he pocketed his phone and went to his car. He had a meeting at the museum he couldn’t afford to miss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an IKEA in Trondheim. Which, honestly, works out, doesn't it? :)


	20. Chapter 20

It wasn’t right for Dis to be in a hospital bed with her head wrapped in gauze and a machine hooked to her body just to make sure she still lived. A trach had been pushed into her throat and a heart rate monitor was attached to her finger. An IV was stuck into her arm.

The shelf that hit her was made of metal and that from the fall had caused some swelling and internal bleeding. The extent of it, well, the doctors knew what they were talking about, but Thorin only understood that Dis was in a coma.

The boys were terrified. Fili was trying to hide it, but Kili was immensely distressed and understandably traumatized. He glanced at Frodo and Bilbo on the other side of the ICU, then back at the doctor.

“Will she wake up?” he asked.

“We don’t know.”  _We don’t know._ It pissed him off and he glanced at her again. “It could be as little as two weeks. Maybe a month, but there is really no way of telling,” the doctor continued. "Her chances of waking lessen after a year.”

“So we’ll just have to see?”

“I’m afraid so. Though it is possible for people to remain in a coma for several decades and never wake.”

“My nephews need their mother,” he said. “They already lost their father. What am I supposed to tell them?”

“They aren’t losing their mother,” the doctor assured him. “There is still a chance she could wake up in a few days.”

“But you don’t know for sure.”

The doctor swallowed. “No,” he said. “We don’t know for sure.”

Thorin sighed and looked at Bilbo again. _Am I being hasty?_ Perhaps. But at least he could be sure that if Bilbo were to use his powers, there was a higher chance Dis could wake up.

He nodded and thanked the doctor before leaving the hallway. Thorin exited the ICU and approached his nephews, explaining what he understood. “There is a chance she could wake up in a few days,” he said. “Or not for a very long time.”

“Is she gonna die?” Kili asked, hiccupping.

“No,” Thorin said. “No, she’s not going to die. She’s in a coma, Kili. She’s like…Sleeping Beauty.”

“Except this isn’t a fairy tale,” Fili snapped. He jumped to his feet and strode away. Thorin couldn’t dispute that. He knew he should stop Fili from wandering off, but he hadn’t the heart to do so right now.

“I saw someone behind the shelf.”

Thorin turned to Kili. “What?”

“I saw someone behind it before it fell. They pushed it, Thorin. They pushed it and it hit Mom.”

“You’re certain?” Kili nodded. Thorin turned to Bilbo. “Can you stay with him? I need to talk to the inspector.” Bilbo nodded and Thorin strode down the hall. If there was a chance this was not an accident, he wanted to be sure. He wanted to know.

He found the inspector outside the hospital entrance, cigarette in his mouth. “Kili said he saw someone push the shelf.” The Inspector put the cigarette out and cursed.

“The younger one, right?”

“Yes.”

“Lead the way.” Thorin returned to the ICU with the inspector behind him. Thorin sat beside Kili.

“You need to tell him what you saw,” he said. Kili looked at his feet and the inspector knelt in front of him. He held his hand out.

“I don’t think we were properly introduced,” he said. “I’m Inspector Bard Bueskytter. Your uncle told me that you saw someone at the store today, which might have had something to do with why your mom got hurt. It would help us a lot if you could tell us what you saw.”

Kili looked up at him. “I saw a man behind the shelf. I didn’t see is face, but he was tall.”

“Okay.”

“I saw him look around and then he pushed the shelf till it fell. Mom had her back to it and I didn’t have a chance to tell her to look out before it happened.”

“Thank you, Kili,” Bard said. “We’ll see what we can do.” He turned to Thorin. “I’d like to talk to you.”

“Of course.” He followed Bard a few feet down the hall. “I take it you can’t use that.”

“No, I’m afraid not. It’s possible that there was foul play, but your family just moved here. Definitely not long enough to gain any enemies.” Thorin wasn’t so sure. “He’s probably just trying to make sense of it.”

Thorin nodded. “It’s possible. He’s only seven, after all.”

Bard smiled. “Just a little older than my youngest, then,” he said. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m sure your sister will wake up soon and I’m really sorry for all this trouble.”

Thorin sighed. “Thank you.”

Bard bowed his head and left. Thorin leaned against the wall and hid his face behind a hand. He wanted to fall apart. It was so hard to stay together right now with his sister’s condition so unsure right now. He felt hopeless.

Someone took his hand and kissed it. “Fili came back,” Bilbo said. “We’re ready to go home if you are.” Thorin swallowed.

“They don’t know if she’ll wake.”

“Frodo was in a coma himself for a year. The Doctor said she could be awake in a couple weeks, so I can come with you then and if it’s okay to see her, I will do a test of my own and let you know how she’s doing. I can’t do that now. It’s rather obvious that she’s in no state to have someone else in her mind.”

Thorin nodded. “In a couple weeks then.” Bilbo nodded. “They can’t lose their mother. If you find out that she’s…if she’s dying, then please make her…like…like you. Fili and Kili already lost their father. They can’t lose her too.”

“I understand,” Bilbo said. “She won’t be happy.”

“I know. But she’ll be…she’ll be alive. That’s all that matters.” Bilbo licked his lips and kissed his cheek.

“Okay,” he said. “I will do that. But only if we are certain her condition isn’t getting better.”

Thorin nodded and kissed him. “Thank you.” Bilbo smiled. “Thank you so much.”

“We should go. The boys need to eat and rest. Everyone up at the castle is already aware of the situation.”

“Okay,” he said. “I was thinking we should stay here for another couple days. Just till the shock wears off. I’m in no state to drive and you don’t have a license, so…”

“Okay, can you drive to the nearest hotel then?”

“I think so.”

“Then let’s get the boys and go,” Bilbo said, rubbing Thorin’s arms. “I love you, you know that?”

“I do. I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> www.brain-injury-law-center.com/practice-areas/coma/
> 
> Bueskytter=archer/bowman (Norwegian via Google translate. PLEASE correct me if this is wrong)


	21. Chapter 21

News of Dis’ accident was not taken very well back at the castle.

Gandalf was hard pressed to keep the group from leaving. Dwalin especially was not pleased with this arrangement. Dis was, in his words, like a sister to him. And where he would go Ori was keen to be there with him, which led to Nori wanting to keep an eye on Dwalin…

And so on.

Somehow, it didn’t smell like an accident. He had a bad feeling about the whole ordeal. He tried to use Thorin’s hope for opening the hotel-museum as a reason and that the sooner they got it finished the better so they could start building revenue to pay for the upcoming hospital bills bound to come his way. Thorin, thankfully, agreed with him and the crew went back to work.

Gandalf searched for Bilbo in his usual haunts, finding him in the basement again. Now that they had working electricity, going downstairs was not as frightening or as anxiety-inducing as before. Bilbo was reading the letters again, carefully flipping through the laminated pages.

“What do you want, Gandalf?” he asked without looking at him.

Gandalf arched a brow. “I want to know if Thorin struck any deals with you in regards to his sister’s condition.”

“We didn’t make a deal. I didn’t seal it with a pact of any sort, but if you are asking if he requested that I make Dis like me if her condition doesn’t improve in a few days, then yes.”

“And you agreed, likely.”

“I did.”

Gandalf hummed and closed the door. “After all the times you’ve made more vampires, are you certain that is wise. Most of whom you turned were not what I would call—”

Bilbo approached him and shoved him against the door, a hand on his throat. Gandalf reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver necklace. He pressed it to Bilbo’s skin. Bilbo screamed and backed away, massaging the burn.

“Forgive me,” Gandalf said, putting the necklace back. “But you will hear me out even if you do not like it. It would be very unfortunate if Dis were to wake up a vampire, Bilbo. I only speak out of concern for the children.”

“You really believe she might hurt her children?” Bilbo asked. “I don’t. I didn’t. No one else I made had hurt children—well, except a small few. But they were mad and that was a mistake. Then again,” he smirked at Gandalf. “You would not be here if not for me, Dr. Grey. Besides, Thorin’s right, the boys need their mother. All I’ll be doing is making sure they have her. And only if she doesn’t wake up in two weeks.”

“For all your years, you are not wise, Bilbo.”

“Not wise?” Bilbo asked, eyebrows arching. “Perhaps I’m not, but that does not mean that you know or understand more than I do, Half One. Besides, this isn’t about wisdom. I love Thorin. He doesn’t want to lose any more of his family and I offer an option to him that he has decided to take advantage of.”

“You would doom her to watch her sons grow up and die,” Gandalf snapped. “How is that mercy? How is that compassion? Does Thorin not remember that pain himself?”

“And do you know how I woke Frodo up? Do you know how that works?” Bilbo asked. “It’s a really good way of getting consent. Thorin already made his decision. All I need to do now is make sure that Dis will be all right with it.”

“And if she isn’t?”

Bilbo crossed his arms. “Then I will discuss it with Thorin. But I won’t turn her if she is against it. I know that pain. I understand it. I hated it. I learned to live with it, but I hated it. And now I have the love of my life back. It’s worth it. Entirely. Especially if it means he’ll be happy.”

“I do not believe that this is the way to regain your happiness,” Gandalf said. Bilbo hummed.

“Perhaps not, but then again, sometimes I get the feeling you’d rather I not be happy, Gandalf.”

“That is not true. I do wish you happiness. I simply question the way you go about it.” He moved toward the door and paused. “You have, as you said, the love of your life back. Do not give into his rash demands. I know you want him to be happy, but at the very least, do so wisely or not at all.” With that, he left Bilbo in the basement and nearly got run over by Nori.

“There you are! We were worried you might have had a fall, Doctor.”

“Well, as you can see, I’m quite all right. Is that all?”

“Thorin wanted to talk to you.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Gandalf asked. “Where can I find him?”

#

“Thanks for helping me,” Frodo said as Fili helped him back in his wheelchair. “I can’t really explain how much it means to me.”

Fili blushed, smiling. “I don’t mind. I like helping you when I can.” Frodo smiled at him and Fili’s blush deepened, going down his neck. He cleared his throat. “So now what? Are you hungry?”

“Not really,” Frodo said. “I was going to get my book and read for a bit.”

“Okay, what book is it?”

Frodo steered himself toward his room and Fili followed. “Harry Potter. For perhaps the millionth time.”

Fili laughed. “I love Harry Potter,” he said. “Books or movies?”

“Books,” Frodo said. “Movies weren’t that bad, but they left a lot out as well as completely changed some things that I just cannot forgive.”

“Same,” Fili said. He cleared his throat. “So, um…we’ll be heading down to the hospital later in the week to visit Mum and I was wondering if you’d...after that…if you’d like to have lunch with me sometime. Just the two of us. I mean, it’s likely that my uncle and Kili will be there, but I think—I _hope_ —I can get them to have a different table so we can…you know…”

Frodo watched him, unblinking. He smiled, a small blush tinging his cheeks. “Sure,” he said. “I’d like that.” Fili gaped for a moment, then his face broke into a wide grin. He leaned down and kissed Frodo’s cheek for a brief moment before announcing he would let Thorin know.

As he left, Frodo touched his cheek, still tingling from where Fili kissed him, and blushing bright red.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEAR CHARACTER DEATH 
> 
> Just so you know...

He stepped into the room and locked the door. After that, he closed the blinds and curtains before approaching the woman on the bed.

Smaug stroked Dis’ cheek and ran his fingers through her hair till he had a few strands for himself. He kissed her forehead.

“Pleasant dreams, Ms. Durin.”

He unlocked the door and left, blowing Dis another kiss before departing.

#

In the corner, of the restaurant, Thorin and Bilbo kept an eye on Frodo and Fili. The two lads were lost in their own world, talking about whatever it was thirteen year old boys was interested in these days.

Kili ate silently, though he had more than once wanted to know when they’d see his mother. Thorin continued to assure him that they would see her after Fili’s and Frodo’s lunch date. Now that it was said lunch date, Kili had quieted down enough to eat. Every so often, something sweet would be said between the boys and Bilbo would get a dopey smile on his face and whisper back to Thorin what had just been said.

“You need to stop that.”

“Oh, come on, it’s cute.”

“I know, but really, stop. I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable later.”

“Fine, but my argument stands. It’s adorable.”

“I know it is,” Thorin said, taking Bilbo’s hand and kissing it. Kili stuck his tongue out in disgust. “Don’t do that when you have food in your mouth, Kili,” Thorin said with an exasperated sigh. Kili closed his mouth and swallowed.

“Kids, right?”

“Don’t I know it,” Thorin agreed, squeezing Bilbo’s hand once more before letting go.

“I don’t ever want to grow up.”

“Good idea,” Thorin said, ruffling his hair. “Stay a kid for as long as possible. Adulthood is overrated.”

“It really is,” Bilbo said. “Kids have it easy.”

Thorin nodded. “You really do.”

“Whatever you say, Uncle Thorin,” Kili said before shoving more of his sandwich in his mouth. “Homework isn’t easy, though.” Thorin snorted, trying not to laugh.

“I’m sure it’s not. But I’d rather do homework than pay bills. One of them has more benefits than the other.”

“Maybe you should go back to school,” Bilbo suggested. “Or is that not possible.”

“Right now, personally, it’s not. Maybe one day, though.”

“Who would want to go back to school?” Kili asked loudly. Thorin hushed him again, ruffling his hair.

“Just trust that adults are strange.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Bilbo sniggered in his glass of water.

#

On arriving at the hospital, nurses and doctors were rushing toward Dis’ room. Thorin pulled the boys aside demanding to know what was going on while Bilbo snuck into the room.

He didn’t understand what was going on, but he understood that the machines hooked up to Dis were going haywire and the doctors were trying to help her in the only way they knew how. Bilbo approached her and placed a hand on her forehead, invisible to those rushing around him.

_“I can’t breathe,” Dis gasped, tearing at her throat. Bilbo took her hands in his._

_“I can help you. Will you let me?”_

_“What will you do?”_

_“I’ll explain when there is time. But right now, there isn’t. You just have to trust me. There is no time.”_

_Dis closed her eyes. “I want to see my children again. If I say yes, will I see them again?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Then whatever it is you want to do, do it.”_

The doctors gave up and announced time of death as Bilbo took his hand off her forehead and bit his wrist along the vein. He pried Dis’ lips open and squeezed a little bit of his blood into her mouth. He closed it and waited for Dis to wake…

She did, with a deep, vocal gasp. The doctors stared at her as she thrashed about trying to rid the discomfort she felt. They held her down, taking the trach out of her throat and examining her. She blinked at Bilbo and he could hear her thoughts:

_What did you do to me?_

He smiled meekly. _I’ll be back in a bit with your brother and sons. They’ll be glad to see you’re awake. We’ll talk about what I did later._

With that, he left the room and approached Thorin and the boys. Fili and Kili were distraught. Frodo, silent. Bilbo stood by Thorin and took his hand. “She’s like me,” he whispered. Thorin turned to him. “She’ll be all right.”

Thorin sighed shakily and laid his head on Bilbo’s shoulder. A nurse approached them and explained what had happened and the miracle that had just occurred.

“When can we see her?” Thorin asked.

“She’ll be moved to a private room tonight. I’ll speak with the doctor about letting you stay past visiting hours so you can see her.”

“Thank you,” Thorin said. The nurse left and Thorin turned to Bilbo, taking his hand again and kissing it. “And thank you.”

“You’re welcome, my love. She has questions, so I would need to stay and talk to her anyway. She’ll be hungry by then, too, but I don’t think hunting is for the best right now.”

“Blood bags. People donate blood. You might be able to find some chilled blood around here.”

“Perhaps.”

“She might prefer that. I prefer it.”

“And you think buying a blood bank is going to do any good?”

Thorin smiled. “It is a vampire castle. A blood drive there could draw in a lot of people.”

“If you say so,” Bilbo said, smiling.

“Think about it: we do that, you probably wouldn’t have to kill anymore and neither would Dis. Sure, some of the blood would have to go to the hospital, but for the most part, you could live without fear of being hunted by any Half Ones that are still hunters.”

Bilbo stared at the floor, contemplating this idea. “It might work. I don’t know how packaged blood would work compared to fresh. I guess we’ll see.”

“I guess we will,” Thorin said. Kili turned to them and tugged on Thorin’s hand.

“I want to see Mum.”

“I know you do,” Thorin said. “But we have to wait a bit longer. How about this, boys: let’s get her some gifts for tonight. Stuff to help her get better soon. It’s going to be a while till we can and I don’t think food’s going to help, but we can get her some flowers and balloons and whatever else you think might help.” Bilbo stood and pulled Thorin up.

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” he said. “I know exactly what kind of flowers to get.”

“Then let’s go to the gift shop.”

#

When Dis was finally allowed to see her family, it was not just them, but Bilbo as well and Frodo. Thorin had brought a couple books and her sons had tied a few balloons to her bed before climbing up and embracing her.

Kili, especially, had been scared to lose her and she rocked him as he wept. Frodo set a vase of yellow roses, white carnations, white daisies, and Peruvian lilies on the bedside table. Fili sat beside her and she pulled him into a hug, too, kissing his cheek as he began to cry as well.

“I’m here and I’m all right, my darlings,” she assured them.

She glanced at the books and arched a brow at one:

_Vampires: Legend, Myth, and Fact_

The other one was _A Tale of Two Cities_. She looked at Thorin and Bilbo. “Do either of you want to explain what happened to me?”

“Well…”

“Someone pushed a shelf on you,” Kili said. “You were coma-dose.”

“Coma _tose_ , sweetie.”

“We didn’t know if you’d wake up,” Fili added.

“Well, as you can see: I am awake and very much all right,” she said. Dis turned to Thorin. “Could you take the boys to get food? I want to talk to Bilbo privately for a bit.”

“Sure.”

“But Mom—”

“We want to stay with you.”

“I know, darlings, but there will be plenty of time for that afterwards.”

Reluctantly, the boys bid goodbye to their mother and went to eat. Thorin closed the door behind him and Bilbo sat down. “How about I start with what I did.”

“I think I can imagine,” she said, picking up the vampire book. Bilbo nodded. “So, what? Did you decide you wanted me rather than Thorin?”

“No. The media and popular culture has degraded vampirism for what it is. Thorin is my lover, and he was, in his past life, the vampire who made me, just as I made you. We were going to wait longer before we knew if you’d wake up or not, but that didn’t exactly happen. You were dying, Dis. I had no other option…”

“But you took the time to get my consent first.”

“I did. Only because I didn’t have that option myself and for a long I was angry with Thorin for that. I forgave him, eventually, and then I lost him. And now, by some grace or unseen force, he came back to me.” Bilbo took the book. “This covers some of what we are now, a friend of mine wrote it, so it should be fairly accurate.”

“Is Frodo…”

“No. Frodo is human. I am sorry if you felt pressured to make a choice. There wasn’t much time.”

“I understand that.”

“Thank you.”

“And may I ask…how long have you been alive. You couldn’t be more than forty to my eyes.”

“I was thirty-seven when I became a vampire, but I have lived without Thorin for a thousand years.”

From there, he told Dis his story and explained all that he could to her. Dis was a rapt listener curious and asking any question that came to mind. And Bilbo was the patient teacher who appeared to have more experience in this subject than most others might have expected…

#

Smaug frowned watched from the hallway as Bilbo talked to Dis about her new…condition. He huffed, annoyed. Well, he could try again when it was safe to do so again.

For now, he might as well stay clear of Bilbo.


	23. Chapter 23

“We won’t want to have blood bags,” Dis told Thorin. “A lot of that blood is broken down by anticoagulants to keep it from clotting.” She motioned to the blood bag hanging beside her. “I can’t taste that, but it makes me feel ill. Not that I can tell my doctor that…”

“So we’re still stuck with killing people.”

“Not necessarily,” she said. “I talked to Bilbo about perhaps establishing a regular feeding schedule and where would be the best hunting grounds to consider. He’s old, so he never really adapted, but,” she smiled. “Be prepared for the two of us having what I’m likely going to call ‘Vampire’s night.’ Sort of like a girl’s night or a boy’s night except the two of us just go hunting at rave sights and the like. Keeps the victim pool big and yet we don’t have to risk killing anyone.”

“I still like the blood drive idea.”

“So do I,” she said.

“You’re taking this better than I thought you would.”

“Honestly, it makes sense and in a way it is a little annoying, but all in all, I’m not…bothered by the fact that a vampire actually lives in that castle. And he’s been kind to my children. I’m still coming to grips with what I am now, but…over all, I don’t see many downsides.”

Thorin hummed. “I am going to become a vampire too,” he admitted, "but I wanted Fili and Kili to grow up first before I did.”

“Well, I can’t say I don’t like that plan, but what if something happens along the way?”

“I trust Bilbo will do whatever he must if something does. He’s a little bit…well, actually, he’s _very_ overprotective. More than I had thought he’d be. I’m getting used to it.”

“I have noticed that,” Dis said, smiling. “It looks like he’s ready to give you a transfusion any moment. Ooh, that’s a good way to talk about hunting without actually making people suspicious: transfusion.”

Thorin shook his head. “You’re having more fun with this than I have ever known you to have.”

“Well, excuse me for finding out that my future brother in law is a vampire. We all know you’re going to be together for the rest of eternity and now I can annoy you for the rest of eternity.”

Thorin stared at her, paling and shaking his head.

“You didn’t think it through, did you?”

“Nope.”

“You know, if we do this, the boys will likely want to as well.”

“Not till after college, I swear to God. I sending them to college whether they want to or not. They can be vampires after they graduate.”

“I don’t particularly care so long as they’re adults.”

“Yeah…”

The door opened, admitting the boys and Dwalin. Kili jumped onto the bed and Dis embraced him, kissing his cheek before accepting a hug from Dwalin.

“How are you, Dissy?”

“Don’t call me Dissy,” she said. “But I am doing so much better, Dwalin. Thank you for asking.” She let him go and he sat down.

“Don’t ever scare us like that again.”

“I don’t intend to,” she promised. “How are you and Ori doing?”

Dwalin blushed. “Well enough,” he said. “He’s…not what I expected. Nor am used to, but…”

“But you’re nothing short of smitten,” she said. “That’s good. You could use someone who’ll challenge you a bit. And he’s a nice man. I like him.”

“Same,” Thorin said. “You love him and he seems to like you at least.”

“Shut up, you dick,” Dwalin snapped. “I’d shove you if you were close enough.”

Thorin grinned and covered his heart. “You flatter me.”

Dis cleared her throat. “Not here, guys. Please? Especially not in front of the children.” Dwalin laughed, ruffling Kili’s hair. Kili squeaked a complaint and shoved Dwalin’s hand off, telling a story about some sort of adventure he’d gone on in the castle the other day.

Fili remained silent next to Thorin, who nudged him. “Smile,” he said. “Everything will be all right.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. Just a feeling,” Fili said. “Kili swears he saw someone. What if someone doesn’t want us here? What if—”

“Hey, kid, look at me: nothing is going to happen and even if something does, your mom and I are here to protect you and Kili. It was an accident. That was all.”

Fili narrowed his eyes. “Why would Kili lie?”

“I’m not saying he did. I never said he did,” Thorin said, startled. Dis cleared her throat.

“I think we shouldn’t worry about it so much, Fili. Okay, love? I’m okay, you’re okay, and Kili’s okay. We’re all okay so why not, instead, focus on that and not worry about what may have happened when I got knocked out.”

Fili sighed. He nodded and stood. “Kili, you want to go get a cookie?”

“No. I want to stay with Mum.”

“Fine, would you still like one?”

“Yes, please.”

“Be back soon, then,” he said, heading out of the room.


	24. Chapter 24

Returning to the castle had been near life-threatening as a storm threatened to throw the car off the road and down the hills. But, by some stroke of luck, they made it back just before the worst of it.

The boys escaped the vehicle and entered the house while Thorin gripped the steering wheel so hard he cut off the blood flow to his fingers and his jaw was so tight, he could feel his teeth being pressed into his skull.

Bilbo pried a hand off and kissed his knuckles. “It’s okay. We’re okay. And even if we weren’t, I’d have done what I could to get everyone back to safety.”

“I know,” Thorin sighed. He winced at the lightening. Bilbo kissed his hand again.

“Let’s go inside and have something to drink, hm?”

Thorin sighed again and nodded. “Some cocoa would be nice.” Bilbo smiled and let his hand go, leading Thorin inside the castle. They leaned against the door and Bilbo shed his coat before taking Thorin’s. “Maybe the drink should wait. I’m soaked.”

“So am I, but the weather doesn’t bother me as much anymore. Go dry off and maybe take a bath, love. We’ll have that drink in a bit.” Bilbo kissed him. “I’ll go check on the boys.”

Thorin nodded and went to his room while Bilbo sought out the boys. He found them in the kitchen, towels on their heads and shoulders as Bombur made them drinks. He smiled at Bilbo.

“Making cocoa,” he said. “Want some?”

“Yes. Thorin’s gone to change, as should you three.”

“After our drinks,” Kili announced.

 “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t tell you when you catch a cold.”

“We’ll be fine,” Fili added with an enthusiastic nod from Frodo. “Besides, you’re one to talk, given that you’re still drenched yourself.” Bilbo shrugged and took a towel from Bombur with a nod and a smile of thanks. He patted his face dry and put the towel on his head.

“Fair evaluation, Fili,” he said. “Bombur, if it’s not too much trouble, I’d like a cup of that cocoa as well and if you could make some for Thorin, too, that’d be wonderful.”

“Done and done,” Bombur promised. Bilbo sat down and removed the towel. “Strange weather we’re having today.”

“Not really,” Bilbo said. “This happens every so often. More so in the winter and fall, but to be honest, I happen to prefer it. So long as I’m indoors, of course.”

“I don’t. Thunder scares me,” Kili admitted. Bilbo wrapped an arm around him.

“Indeed thunder and lightning can be scary,” he said. “But that is the way of nature. It is beautiful and treacherous all at once, to be admired but never forget its power, little one: nature is not to be controlled, only admired and enjoyed. That said, I know a place where we can watch the storm if you lads want to see it.”

“Yeah!”

#

Dis pinned the man to the wall, kissing him. His hands bunched around the thin garb around her, pulling it up. Dis nipped his lips and nuzzled his neck as he gripped her hips and thrust his pelvis against hers. She bit down and he gasped.

At last, the nausea she had been feeling subsided. She let go of him and kissed him. “You like that?”

“Yes,” he said. She pecked his lips, lowering her hand to his groin.

“Then let me take care of you.”


	25. Chapter 25

Dis leaned against the wall as her victim was looked over.

She felt bad about what she did, but she couldn’t stand the blood bag! On the bright side, they took her off it and as long as she ate and proved she could walk, she would be ready to go in a bit.

The thing was…

He now had amnesia. She nearly wiped out the last decade of his life when she only meant to erase their encounter.

This…Vampire thing is going to take more practice than she thought.

_What would Bilbo say?_

She wished she knew. She really could use his advice.

Dis turned around to go back to her room when someone nearly bumped into her.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” the man said. “Are you all right, Ma’am?”

“Yes,” Dis said.

The man was a bit handsome. His hair was dark brown and a hint of curls. He was tall, slightly lanky, but firm. He had nice blue eyes.

“I’m fine, thanks. Are you?”

“I am.”

“Well. Good! Glad we got that taken care of.” She moved around him.

“Um, actually,” the man began. She stopped and turned to him. “Would you like to get a coffee with me? After you’re discharged, that is. I’m sure you’re tired of hospital food.”

“I kind of am,” she admitted. “Why not? I’m Dis Durin,” she held her hand out to the man, who gripped it in his own, smiling.

“Ormarr Smaug,” he said, taking her hand in his and kissing it. “It is an honor to meet you, Dis.”

“Likewise,” Dis said, grinning.

She was completely charmed by this man and she hadn’t a clue why…she passed it off as paranoia and asked him to join her for lunch anyway.

He accepted.

#

Thorin collapsed next to Bilbo, panting. He pressed the heel of his hand to his neck.

“We… _really_ need to get those restraints.”

“Yeah,” Bilbo huffed. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Thorin said, turning onto his side and kissing Bilbo’s shoulder. “You can’t be sorry for something you can’t help, love.”

Bilbo sighed. “Perhaps not, but I don’t want to drain you…”

“I know. We’ll get what we need tomorrow, okay?”

“The boys will want to go see Dis again.”

“Yeah, we can leave them with her for a bit. They won’t mind.”

“Or…” Bilbo propped himself up on his arms. “We could have the others distract them. I know Bofur likes kids. He won’t mind keeping an eye on them while we go shopping for sex toys.”

Thorin grinned. “I’d like that,” he said.

He pushed himself back up and straddled Bilbo’s waist, pinning his arms over his head.

“I can’t wait to tie you to this bed. The things I’ll do to you…” He leaned over Bilbo’s breast and kissed his nipple. “Maybe I’ll cover you in chocolate sauce and lick it off you. Or perhaps I’ll put a candy condom on your cock and suck you off till you weep. Maybe I’ll eat your ass out. Who knows?”

Bilbo wriggled under him, pupils blown wide. Thorin kissed him.

“Maybe I’ll ride you to completion, but you’ll not be able to, will you, given you’ll want, desperately, to bite me?”

He pinned Bilbo’s wrists down with one hand to allow the other to stroke Bilbo’s chest.

“I’ll gag you so I can kiss you and lick you all I want. I can stuff you with toys—beads, plugs, vibrators…anything that will turn you on and make you mad with want. I will fuck you into bliss.”

“Oh God, _yessss…._ ”

Thorin grinned and kissed him once more before climbing off.

“I’m going to clean up and dress. Meet you down at the car in an hour.”

Bilbo gaped at him. “You _tease_!”

“What? I need a little time to get properly hard again. Same to you. So come on and let’s get ready to go. And when we get back, maybe I can make good on those promises tonight.”

He winked and entered the bathroom.

#

If Bilbo and Thorin thought they were more discreet than Dwalin and Ori, they were greatly mistaken.

Frodo wasn’t about to tell them that, though, as he and Fili spotted the couple heading to the car, grinning and laughing. Thorin pulled Bilbo into a kiss before getting the door.

“What do you think they’re doing?”

“No idea,” Frodo replied, holding Fili’s hands as he helped him regain mobility in his legs. They were sore and his muscles strained, but it was getting easier.

“Maybe they’re going to see Mum.”

“I doubt it. Did you not see them? They looked like they were in their own world. Whatever it is, it’s got more to do with sex.”

Fili blushed and Frodo looked at their feet, feeling his cheeks warm.

“At least that’s my impression. I could be wrong.”

“I doubt it. You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.”

If he hadn’t been blushing before, he certainly was now. Frodo bit his lower lip and looked up to meet Fili’s gaze. Fili swallowed, cheeks still very pink.

“Um…is it okay if I kiss you?”

Frodo nodded, knees wobbling. “I’d like that, but can I sit back down first?”

Fili nodded and helped him back in his wheelchair before cupping Frodo’s cheek and pressing their lips together. Fili’s mouth is warm and slightly chapped against his and as soon as it had happened, he pulled away, face bright red.

“That was…”

“Nice.”

“Yeah.”

“Kiss me again?”

Fili grinned and kissed Frodo a second time. “I think I love you, Frodo Baggins.”

Frodo kissed him again. “I don’t know if that’s smart.”

“Why not?”

Frodo blinked back tears that welled his eyes. “Anyone who has ever loved me leaves…I’m cursed or something.”

“No you’re not.”

“How do you know? My parents died. I don’t have any living relatives except for Bilbo and…” _and even_ he _isn’t really living._ “I just know that I lose everyone who ever loved me.”

Fili knelt and took Frodo’s hands in his, kissing them.

“You won’t lose me,” he said. “You won’t lose me, Frodo. And even if I fall out of love with you, I hope we can be friends at least. Can’t we?”

Frodo nodded, weeping. Fili embraced him, finding it easier to sit on Frodo’s lap to do so, letting Frodo cry into his shirt, and muffling the sound somewhat.

#

“I do miss my husband,” Dis said taking a bite out of her ice cream. “But I’m not alone. My brother helps me with my sons and Kili, my youngest, sees him as a father figure anyway and Fili is attached enough to him to respect him.”

Ormarr hummed around his spoon. “You’re lucky to have them. They sound like wonderful boys.”

She grinned. “Thank you. I’m proud of them. What about yourself? I’m guessing you’re single,” she said, motioning to his bare hands.

“I am,” he said. “No children of my own, though.”

Dis hummed.

“But I do like children. We have a children’s tour at the museum I work at in Oslo.”

“Oslo? What brings you to Trondheim then?”

“Work, mostly. My employer lives here and he wanted to have a meeting.”

Dis hummed.

“What about yourself. You said you’re from Sweden?”

“Family heritage. An ancestor once owned the castle in the mountains.”

“Ah.”

“My brother and I are turning it into a hotel and museum.”

“Interesting. I like it.”

“Thank you.”

“So…who wanted the hotel?”

“Me. My brother loves history and having a vampire as an ancestor…”

“That would make anyone excited about history, I find.”

“Perhaps.”

“Dis!”

She turned and grinned. “Hey, Thorin!” She called as he and Bilbo approached. “I wasn’t expecting you two today. Where are the boys?”

“We were out on personal business. Didn’t want to have any awkward conversations,” Bilbo said, voice strained.

“And with that, I beg you not to question us yourself,” Thorin added. He looked at Ormarr. “Dr. Smaug, I presume?”

“I am.”

“You know him?”

“He was the one who offered his museum for Dr. Grey and his team.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

“I didn’t realize you were Thorin’s sister,” he said. “Silly of me.”

“Very,” Bilbo said. “What brings you here, Doctor?”

“Visiting a sick friend. Ran into Miss Durin and we had lunch together. No crime in that.”

“I suppose,” Bilbo said, swallowing. He sat down and turned to Dis. “You look better.”

“I feel better,” She said. “We were just talking about the castle.”

“I can’t wait to see the finished product,” Ormarr said. “I’m sure it will look absolutely spectacular.” He stood and kissed Dis’ hand. His lips were chilled from the ice cream. “I should go to that meeting, but I hope to see you again.”

“Same.”

He handed Dis a card. “Call me when you get out.” He winked and walked away.

“Quite the charmer,” Thorin mumbled. Dis elbowed him, giggling.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is just porn...

Bilbo didn’t consider himself the type to be suspicious of others unless they gave him reason to. He trusted Smaug, but seeing him with Dis made him wonder about him. What was he up to? Was he really just visiting a friend?

After all, he wasn’t completely tied to Bilbo. Bilbo gave him free reign to do what he wished so long as he was able to do his duty as Bilbo’s servant.

All thoughts about Smaug disappeared when Thorin came out of the bathroom, naked and smirking.

“Ready?”

Bilbo swallowed and nodded. Thorin approached him and pushed him down, tying his hands with the restraints they bought and moved to his feet. After that, Thorin fitted a ball gag in Bilbo’s mouth. Thorin kissed his chest.

“You,” Thorin whispered, “Are beautiful.”

He sucked at a nipple and Bilbo closed his eyes, letting Thorin do as he wanted, paying attention to his touch as he moved down to his cock and closed his mouth around it. Bilbo moaned around the gag, reminding himself not to struggle against the bonds. For a human, they were strong, but Bilbo could snap them easily if he wanted to.

After a while, Thorin straddled his waist and Bilbo opened his eyes to watch him stick his fingers in his hole. “I’m going to ride you, as I once did,” he promised.

Bilbo remembered those days before he became a vampire. The man Thorin was then insisted on Bilbo’s dominance. At the time, Bilbo just thought he was a bottom in every way. Now he knew that part of it at least had to do with Thorin not wanting to hurt him.

_But he had…_

Bilbo pushed aside the thought, eyes fluttering closed as Thorin sank down on his cock, moaning. _God, how I’ve missed this_ , Bilbo thought, wishing he was unbound so he could grab Thorin’s hips

“Tell me more about that,” Thorin said. “Tell me how much you’ve missed having your cock in my ass.”

 _I did not intend for that to be heard,_ Bilbo thought, blushing. He tugged at his bonds and blinked at Thorin as he moved, neck exposed as he moaned.

“Fuck, Bilbo, I thought of how _thick_ you are,” Thorin moaned. “I’ve not been so properly filled like this in a long time…”

_Oh, you fucking gorgeous wanker!_

Thorin snickered, squeezing around Bilbo’s cock, successfully pulling out a debauched moan from Bilbo’s throat.

 _I want to have you on your belly, ass in the air for me and legs spread, your cock and balls visible between them,_ Bilbo thought. Thorin moaned. _I would ghost my fingers over your skin before licking your hole. I’d have you scream my name in ecstasy long before I opened you up for my cock. I’d take you as a dog would his bitch._

“Fuck! Bilbo, yes!”

_Fuck! Thorin, I’m close! So close…I need to bite you!_

“We agreed no more biting.” Bilbo whimpered, hips bucking, Thorin gasped and squeezed around him. “I’m close too…” He rocked his hips a little more and gasped, moaning as he reached completion. Bilbo growled and tore at the bonds, sitting up and rolling them over, He ripped the gag off and bit Thorin’s neck, slamming his hips against Thorin’s.

Thorin cried out from the sudden pain and bit back hard enough to draw blood…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....
> 
> Well that happened.
> 
> This story is going in a direction I had not intended to...


	27. Chapter 27

_Oh God! Thorin! Thorin can you hear me?_

Thorin groaned, turning his head to the other side. His neck hurt. It seemed every part of his body hurt, actually. He opened his eyes to see Bilbo.

“What happened?”

Bilbo’s eyes filled with tears and a choked sob passed his lips. “I’m sorry, my love. I didn’t mean…I didn’t…I couldn’t stop myself.”

Thorin touched his neck, finding no mark and no blood.

“I did bite you, but it’s healed now.”

“How?”

“You bit me. Drew blood…and you swallowed it.”

“Oh.”

“That’s it?! Thorin, you’re a vampire now!”

Thorin sat up and embraced him. “It was an accident,” he said. “We didn’t think this would happen, but it did. No one is at fault.” He stroked Bilbo’s hair. “I’m not mad.” Bilbo gasped, shoulders shaking. “I’m not mad,” he repeated, rocking Bilbo in his arms. “I knew this could happen sooner or later. I had hoped later, but I can handle it. It’s okay, love. Don’t cry.”

Bilbo wept harder from that. Thorin remembered how the guilt ate at him when he turned Bilbo, who had been far less forgiving. Thorin repeated _I’m not mad, don’t cry, it’s all right_ in Bilbo’s ear. It really could be worse. Aside from hunger—not a normal hunger at that—he felt fine.

He could ignore it for now. Bilbo needed him…

#

Kili ran to Dis, who picked him up as soon as she was in the door and embraced him, kissing his cheek.

“Mommy, you’re back!”

“Yes, I’m back, my darling,” she said, giving him a small squeeze before setting him down. Fili, drawn by the sound of her voice, came around the corner and let go of his teenage inhibitions to also run and embrace her, whimpering.

“You did well, sweeties,” she said. “I know it was hard.” She kissed the top of his head. “Come on. I’m craving Thorin’s grilled cheese and tomato soup.”

Kili cheered and went to go tell Thorin while Fili composed himself. “I love you, Mom.”

“And I love you, Fili,” she said, cupping his face in her hands. “I can’t promise that nothing bad will happen again, but I promise you won’t have to live without me,” she said. She pressed her forehead to his. “It’ll be all right, Fili.”

“I know, Mum.”

“I’m told I’m supposed to make lunch?” Thorin asked, coming down the stairs in pajama bottoms and an oversized t-shirt. He carried Kili under one arm. “I just woke up, thanks to this pest.”

“And I want your grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup.”

“That does sound nice.” He set Kili down. “Fili, how about you invite Frodo?”

Fili grinned as though that was an excellent idea. Once both boys had gone, Thorin approached Dis and embraced her.

“You’re one of us now?” she asked. “How?”

“Long story,” he said, with a sigh, “And not something I want the boys to hear.”

Dis smiled, “This better be as good as it sounds.” Thorin grunted and scratched his belly as he and Dis went to the kitchen. “I suppose Bilbo’s been riding you hard in the bedroom?”

Thorin halted, blushing.

“Ah. So _that’s_ how it happened.”

“Well, thank you for sparing me the humiliation of actually telling you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dis said with a bright grin. “Now make me a sandwich.”

“Fuc-dge off,” he snarled on entering the kitchen.

“Fine, but may I ask? Where’s Bilbo?”

“Still abed. Said he’d get up when he wanted and no other time.”

“Well thankfully, the others are taking a day, I suppose.”

“Yeah.”

“Grilled cheese! Grilled cheese! Grilled cheese!”

“All right you brats, I’m making you grilled cheese and tomato soup, so shut it.”

“Uncle, be nice,” Fili sing-songed, making Frodo snigger. Thorin rolled his eyes and grabbed an apron, muttering under his breath.

The things he did for his family…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know chapters have been short lately and I have a good reason for that...  
> I've been creatively drained, so the more inspired I am the more I'll write. As it is, I think i'm doing quite well as it is. ;)


	28. Chapter 28

Smaug entered the mansion, straightening his suit nervously as he approached the parlor. The man within stirred his tea while viewing a paper. “Pity this new generation is so obsessed with technology. A good paper book and Times is really all one needs to stay entertained.”

The man looked up, dark eyes glinting. “Have you kept your eyes firmly on my stepson?”

“I have,” Smaug said, handing him a file. “Thorin is back and he remembers. It’s only a matter of time before Bilbo makes him a vampire.”

“Still insists on living in that old, drafty place, I assume.”

“It means something to him.”

“And you are sympathetic, Ormarr,” the man said, arching a brow. “I would think better of you.”

“Not sympathetic,” Smaug protested. “I’m worried, Sir. Bilbo believes you dead. He never mentions you—nor does he like to speak of his parents much. I only know so much…”

“Good,” he said. “I want to surprise him.” At last he opened the file and arched a brow. “You neglected to mention that a former hunter is in your midst.”

“Was. Gandalf Grey won’t do anything to us. He has warned me. That is all.”

“And who,” the man lifted a picture in his hand. He turned it over to Smaug. “Is this beauty? Has Thorin become a woman this time?”

“His sister, Dis.” The man hummed and looked at it again. “She is a vampire. I…”

“I thought I told you to make sure Bilbo remains in misery as long as possible.”

“I’ve been successful for nearly three hundred years, Sauron. Since the last started to sympathize.”

“You don’t think Bilbo’s been punished enough, have you?”

“Of course not! No one who does what he did deserves—”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Sauron said, smirking. He looked through the other portraits. “Dis is a whore?”

“She was married when she had her sons, Fili and Kili. The blond and the younger brunet.”

“And this third one? In a wheelchair?”

“A descendant of the Baggins clan who Gandalf is adamant that Bilbo take in.”

Sauron hummed, staring at Frodo’s picture. He leaned forward. “His name?”

“Frodo.”

“He’s a reincarnation, too.”

“Really?”

“This boy…he looks like Belladonna.”

“That’s impossible!”

“I don’t see why it would be,” Sauron said, setting the picture down and closing the file. He set it on the coffee table and picked up his tea cup. “Those who love each other dearly enough will always find a way to get back to them. When Bilbo finally returned, his mother was overjoyed. And even then, he killed her. He let her die.”

Sauron’s hands shook. Smaug swallowed. “He must _not_ take in that boy.”

“I will see what I can do.”

“And that Dis woman,” Sauron added. “I told you to kill anyone who is getting too close to Bilbo.”

“I thought that if he lost Thorin of Thorin’s or his own free will…”

“But she is a vampire.”

“Yes.”

“So you failed.”

“I’m doing what I can to rectify the situation.”

“Good.” Smaug turned to go and nearly touched the doorknob when Sauron called him back.

“Yes?”

“Don’t get attached to the woman. She’s just your type.” He winked and Smaug blushed, turning away from him and leaving. Once outside, Smaug massaged his forehead. He didn’t understand why Sauron was still so furious with Bilbo over what happened.

 _It was an accident,_ he recalled Bilbo saying when he asked about what happened to his mother. _It was never meant to happen._

Smaug didn’t believe that Belladonna was supposed to die the way she did and he certainly didn’t have enough information to hate Bilbo.

In fact, Bilbo was hard to hate. He didn’t blame his predecessors for turning against Sauron. He was nearly at that point himself. And self-preservation kept him tied to Sauron.

He was right though.

Dis was his type, if he had a type to have.


	29. Chapter 29

“Where have you been?” Bilbo asked as soon as Smaug entered his office, enjoying the way he jumped. “I expected to find you here yesterday.”

Smaug glared at him and pulled the rolling seat out from under him. Bilbo yelped and laughed. He liked those chairs. They were fun. “Despite what you think, I have a paying job which requires me to travel sometimes,” he said. “There was a Nordic dig sight discovered in Scotland. I was there for a couple days and got back last night. Now, _what_ can I do for you, Master?”

Bilbo held up a small black envelope. “Castle’s done. I figured I’d invite you. But you might want to come with this one,” he held up an identical second envelope. “It’s from Dis and a tad thicker. I suppose she wrote a letter along with it.”

Smaug hummed and took the envelopes. “So I suppose it’s the grand opening of the new Museum and Hotel?”

Bilbo nodded. “Erebor Hotel and Vampire Museum is the final name. Not only will some of the world’s remaining vampires be in attendance, but established…archeologists, professors, curators…you should be there.”

Bilbo winked and stood, stretching. It was then Smaug realized that, as casual as Bilbo had dressed, the clothes were slightly tighter than preferred.

“Are you going somewhere?”

“Nightclub, I think. Thorin and Dis said this would be appropriate to wear,” he added, looking at his clothes. “Were they wrong?”

“It’s not your style.”

“No, but they said it’d be easier to hunt this way. Not sure how.”

“It looks good on you,” Smaug said. Bilbo smiled.

“Thank you.”

“You best get going.” Smaug sat down. “And if you can, send me a picture of Dis.” Bilbo arched a brow. “What?”

“What is this fascination you have with Dis?”

“She’s…” Smaug cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “I like her, do I need to say more? She’s a handsome woman and she’s smart.”

“And you’re lusting after her enough to want a picture of her in a tight skirt, bosom bursting out of her shirt?” Bilbo asked.

“Must you say it like that?!”

“You are mad for her.”

“I admit that I happen to fancy Dis, yes, but that does _not_ mean that I will stand for you to speak in such a way of her—”

“Why not when you’re the one thinking that way?” Bilbo asked. “I’ll get you a picture if you like. Hell, if you have her phone number, you might get a picture from her anyway.”

With that, he left, chuckling. He fixed the collar of his shirt and went to the club where Thorin and Dis were to meet him.

#

Thorin checked his watch, scowling. It wouldn’t bring anyone close to him, which interfered with feeding, but he lightened up when a kiss pressed to his cheek. He looked at Bilbo and smiled.

“You made it.”

“Not too late, am I?”

“No,” Thorin said, gripping his hips and pulling Bilbo closer, kissing him. “Show me how to do this…I don’t…I’m nervous.” Bilbo kissed his nose.

“It’s simple. In this setting, well, it depends on what happens. Let it take its course. Where’s Dis?”

Thorin motioned toward the dance floor where a pair of men were already lured into her web, likely attracted to the black zip-up-the-front, barely mid-thigh length dress she was wearing, black hair left curled down her back and matched with gold jewelry and dark makeup.

Bilbo never understood women’s fashion. Not when he was human and not now. It seemed clothes only ever got more ridiculous and less practical. Especially women’s clothes.

But that was his opinion.

Thorin pinched his arm. “Are you eyeing my sister?”

“Just concerned,” Bilbo said, sliding onto Thorin’s lap and lacing his arms around his neck. “She is new at this and I wouldn’t want her first hunt to go badly.”

“I don’t think we need to worry,” Thorin assured him, kissing his hand. “She knows how to handle men. And if it _does_ get out of hand, well…” _We’d have our dinner_. “No one touches my sister with intent to harm her and gets away with it.”

“Agreed.” A third man decided to join Dis’ entourage. “I think we’ve enough for each of us, though one should be enough.” Thorin scoffed.

“We don’t want to kill a man, we want to feed and let them live without remembering what happened to them.”

“Fine, fine,” Bilbo sighed, leaning against him. Thorin locked his arms around Bilbo’s waist and rested his chin on Bilbo’s shoulder. “The one in the red shirt is getting too friendly.”

“She did shake her butt at him. I can almost smell the arousal off him from _here_.”

Thorin groaned, hiding his face in Bilbo’s neck. “Must you say that? That’s my _sister_!”

“Oh hush. You’re too cute,” Bilbo giggled. He kissed him again and met the eyes of a couple men who were eyeing them angrily, as if their very presence was upsetting them. “Though, if Dis choses one, we can have them,” he said, staring at the other men, who just glared back.

Thorin looked at them. He narrowed his eyes. “We could. And while you might be tempted, Bilbo, I still hold to the _no killing_ clause we agreed on.”

“Pity.” No one would mourn a dead homophobe.”

“No, but there are those who would mourn a murdered son, father, brother…they aren’t just homophobes.”

“Valid. Very well,” Bilbo sighed. “Let’s get them angry enough to follow us out.” He kissed Thorin again, sliding his tongue into his lover’s mouth. Thorin kissed back, stroking Bilbo’s bum. The offended men jumped up and left the bar. Bilbo nipped Thorin’s lip between his blunt, front teeth. “Now we wait a little bit and meet them outside.”

“And Dis?”

“We’ll take care of them, and then check on her if she needs help.”

“All right,” Thorin said, “Should we have a drink?”

“Let’s!” Bilbo said, moving to his own seat and asking for a beer. He could feel Thorin’s eyes on him and he smirked at him. “Whatever else you crave tonight will have to wait till we’re home, sweetheart.”

“I can wait,” Thorin said, laughing and pinching Bilbo’s bum. Bilbo slapped his hand away.

_Behave yourself._

Thorin chuckled.

* * *

Dis' Dress

 


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh! I can't believe I almost forgot about this story! Last week, internet was screwy and this week, I just...skipped it...won't happen next week! Promise!

Bilbo got off his lap and pulled Thorin up, leading him to the dance floor. Thorin gripped his hips and pulled Bilbo close, arms around him as they swayed to the music. The lights blinded him, but the smell of Bilbo kept him close. Bilbo turned around and wrapped his arms around Thorin’s neck.

“They’re still eying us like wolves.”

“Wolves who do not know they encounter lions,” Thorin whispered. Bilbo smiled, radiating joy.

“You remember that? You used to say that all the time.”

“It fits. And it’s sort of poetic.”

Bilbo eased up on his toes and kissed him. Thorin tightened his grip on his hips, pressing his arousal to Bilbo’s. Bilbo hummed, licking the seam of Thorin’s lips before putting a little space between them. “It’ll have to wait till later, love,” he said with a salacious wink.

#

Dis led her chosen victim outside into the alleyway. He pushed her against the wall and pulled the zipper of her dress down to reveal her breasts. He kissed her neck as he massaged her chest, leg pushed between her thighs.

She imagined this man was slighter of frame, taller, deeper of voice as he murmured promises of pleasure in her ear…

Dis threaded her fingers through his hair and kissed him once before embedding her teeth into his neck. He gasped and whimpered as she fed and once finished, she wiped his memory and he passed out on the ground. Dis fixed her dress and went to find Bilbo and Thorin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time for SURE I will finish the hunt! I promise! Hold me to it!


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: assault, homophobic attack. If this triggers you, you can skip it to the # where the sex scene begins.

They laughed as they left the club, arms around each other and kissing. Thorin nipped at Bilbo’s ear. “They’re following.”

“Good,” Bilbo said, rolling his hips against Thorin’s, and wrapping his arms around his neck. “Let them think they have the upper hand.” He rolled his hips again. Thorin took his face in his hands and kissed him, eliciting a moan out of Bilbo’s mouth.

He let go and was on the process of getting on his knees when something round and made of steel collided with his head. Bilbo screamed and he and Thorin were pulled out back into the alleyway.

One of them pinned Bilbo to the wall while the other two kicked and stomped on Thorin. He pretended to be in pain, but their attacks seemed more…

He knew it should hurt, but it was like they were stomping on stone. It only seemed like someone barely standing on him. What worried him most was how Bilbo reacted, begging them to stop. The sound of a slap or perhaps his head being banged against the wall.

Was he serious or was he simply that good an actor?

“Thorin! Thorin!”

_I think now’s a good time._

Thorin threw them off him and the men fell back, startled. Bilbo shoved his captor off and pulled his shirt collar far enough to expose his neck, biting down. One went to help him while the other attempted to make an escape.

Thorin went after the runner, seizing him and pushing him back into the alley to feed on, embedding his teeth into the jugular vein. Bilbo pushed his first victim away and seized the second, shoving him to his knees as Thorin finished and wiped out his victim’s memory.

“You’re not normal!”

“By… _not normal_ do you mean homosexual or vampires?” Bilbo asked. “In this context, I’m not really sure. Could be both.”

“True,” Thorin agreed. “But I would say you’re not normal either. Attacking two people just because they make you uncomfortable. That’s wrong. What makes you different from us in that sense?”

“Very,” Bilbo said. “We are simply feeding. And we happen to be lovers. You and your friends didn’t have to come after us at all.”

“I’m sorry,” the man blubbered. Thorin looked at Bilbo.

“You believe him?”

“No.”

“Neither do I,” Thorin said. Bilbo pulled him up and they fed on him, covering his mouth to keep him from screaming.

#

The three of them made it back to the mountain by dawn. Dis yawned and announced she was going to get some sleep before the boys woke her for breakfast. Bilbo and Thorin returned to their room.

“How was that? No one dead, memories erased. And we’re full. I suppose that’s better than how it used to be. Not easier, though.”

“No, probably not, but definitely better. More effective, I think.”

Bilbo hummed and straddled Thorin’s lap, unbuttoning his shirt. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered. “Tonight, you were gorgeous and I am loathe to wait longer for you.”

He kissed Thorin, who pulled Bilbo’s shirt out of his jeans and massaged his crotch, relishing in the hiss and gasp escaping Bilbo’s mouth. Thorin undid the fastenings of his jeans and shoved his hand inside, gripping Bilbo’s cock and feeling him shudder.

“I want you on top tonight,” Bilbo whispered. “Please, Thorin. Take me.”

“As you wish,” Thorin said rolling them over.

Bilbo laughed as Thorin pulled him free of his clothes. The laughter turned to gasps when Thorin shoved his knees up to his shoulders and licked his ass. Bilbo pulled free and rolled over, legs spread. Thorin spread his ass cheeks apart, swirling his tongue around the ring of taut flesh.

He pulled away, ignoring Bilbo’s groan, to grab the lube. He warmed it in his hands and pushed a finger into Bilbo. Bilbo gasped and arched his back, fucking himself on Thorin’s finger and demanding more. Thorin hushed him as he coaxed another finger.

“Not much longer, love,” he whispered. Bilbo whimpered. “Not much longer now.”

“Thorin…Oh Thorin!”

“I know, Bilbo, I know. Just a little more,” he pushed in another finger and kissed Bilbo’s neck. Bilbo whimpered and rocked his hips again.

“Fuck it, Thorin, just fucking _fuck_ me!”

“Such a mouth,” Thorin teased. He obliged and turned Bilbo onto his back. “If I thought it’d work a second time, I would gag you.”

“Shut up.” Bilbo gasped and arched his back as Thorin shoved his cock inside him.

“It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“No,” Bilbo said, shaking his head. “I’m good. Move. Please, Thorin, move.” Thorin rolled his hips, relishing in the feel of Bilbo’s ass tightening around him.

“Relax.”

“Trying. Please just fuck me!”

“I will when you relax.”

He stroked Bilbo’s cheek and kissed his chest as he waited for him to relax. Once Bilbo’s muscles loosened and his limbs slackened, Thorin pounded into him, bringing them both closer to the edge. When Bilbo bit him, nails digging into his shoulders, Thorin growled, needing to taste Bilbo’s blood himself.

Once Bilbo unlatched himself from Thorin’s neck, Thorin bit his shoulder as he pressed him into the mattress, clasping his hand around Bilbo’s and pinning it above his head.

 _I love you_ , Bilbo whispered in his head.

_As do I, Beloved. My dearest and greatest treasure. As do I…_

#

Bilbo slept peacefully on his chest as Thorin stared at the ceiling. _Treasure_. He remembered that. Why that? It seemed more possessive than loving.

_Who was I? What was I like before I died the first time around?_

He wished Bilbo told him more, but he seemed more interested in letting Thorin remember for himself what he used to be like.

 _My greatest treasure_.

“Stop thinking,” Bilbo mumbled, sitting up and poking Thorin’s nose. “Yes, you called me that when I fell in love with you. No, it never meant to be possessive. I mean, you were. But after years of being alone, getting possessive of your lover does happen. For instance, I’m _very_ possessive of you.”

“You are? You don’t act like it.”

“Because I have no reason not to trust you. I can feel your adoration and it is a comfort. It took us a while in the beginning because you lied to me for so long. But if someone else were to show interest in you…I swear, I would hate to see what I’d do to them. You took my heart and my soul and the only reason I live still is because it was your dying wish that I live for you and to remember that you love me. So I did. It was the least I could do, no matter the pain.”

“And I came back.”

Bilbo smiled, eyes shining. “Yes. You came back. Against my very beliefs, you came back to me. I don’t want to live without you again. I can’t do it again, Thorin. I can’t. It—”

“You’re not going to. We’re legend now. Hunters are rare. You survived this long and I’m by your side again.” Bilbo kissed him just as the door swung open. Kili jumped on the bed.

“Gandalf’s making breakfast! He said he’s making eggs and bacon and he wants you two down there to have some! Said it’s an English breakfast or something like that! Come on! Get out of bed!”

“We’ll be down in five,” Thorin said. “We’ll meet you at the table, you booger. Off with you.”

Kili jumped off the bed and ran out the door, yelling for Dis to wake up and have breakfast as well.

Bilbo laughed. “It’s certainly more lively now.”

“And you best get used to it.”

“I like it.”

“Good.”

“He’s a good lad. He’ll be a fine man.” With one more kiss, Bilbo got out of bed and began to dress. Thorin watched till he was swatted with a hand and ordered to get dressed himself.


	32. Chapter 32

Smaug fidgeted, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waited for Sauron to exit the airport. And when he finally arrived, Smaug ceased fidgeting and greeted him.

“Will you need assistance carrying anything, Sir?”

“No,” Sauron said, lifting his small suitcase. “This is all I need. I take it I have a room ready?”

“Yes,” Smaug assured him. “At Erebor, no less.” Sauron grinned. “I figured the sooner you see your stepson, the better?”

“Not really, but it would be entertaining if nothing else. And yourself? Not getting too attached to the lady, are you?”

“No,” he said, pushing down any thought of even _wanting_ to get closer to Dis. Especially a certain dream involving her the previous night. He didn’t want Sauron privy to his private thoughts if he could help it. Bilbo, at least, would just tease him a bit and leave him be. Sauron was more likely to destroy Dis if he guessed Smaug’s loyalty even remotely shifted.

Smaug led Sauron to the car and they left for the long drive Erebor Castle.

#

“Everything is ready,” Dis announced. Bilbo could smell the anticipation mingling with her perfume. “And the kids are getting dressed right now. Where’s Thorin?”

“Showering.”

“Good,” she said. “Good.”

“Dis, it’s going to be all right.”

“I know,” she said. “But I can’t help but worry…”

“There is nothing to worry about. And I think that’s our first guests.” Just as he finished speaking, the door opened and a family of three entered. Dis straightened her back and grinned.

“Welcome to Erebor,” she said grandly. “I am Dis Durin and this is Bilbo Baggins. We’re very glad to have you here tonight.”

“Is this really a vampire castle?” the little girl asked.

“Tauriel!” the father hissed.

“It certainly is,” Bilbo said, kneeling down. “Later, we’ll be giving a grand tour and that includes the basement where the vampires kept their victims. Their story, despite the gruesome part of it, is very romantic.”

Tauriel looked at her brother. “We’re more interested in the vampires,” he said. Bilbo laughed.

“Well, I suppose that alone is enough to warrant interest,” he agreed. “May I get your names, Mister…”

“Greenwood,” the father said, leading the children further into the castle. “Thranduil Greenwood.”

Bilbo arched a brow. _I wonder how many people are actually reincarnated…and how that even works!_ He found the name and led them to their room. “Dinner is at six,” he said. “And if you at all hear other children, that would be my nephew and Dis’ sons.”

“No other girls?” Tauriel asked, frowning.

“Not yet,” Bilbo said. “We should have some other families showing up eventually. I’m sure some of them will have some daughters and nieces for you to play with.”

“Legolas, Tauriel,” Thranduil said. “How about you go look around the new room? I’d like a word with Mr. Baggins a moment.” Bilbo furrowed his brow. Why would this man want a word with him? Did he also remember his past life?

The children ran off and the man turned to him. “You wouldn’t mind introducing the boys to my children, would you?” he asked. “Especially Legolas? He has a hard time making friends.”

“I’m sure we can come up with some arrangement,” Bilbo said. “And we’ll all be together at dinner. Ms. Durin had a brilliant idea of sitting the children with their own age groups from, uh, four and up. Four to six year olds, then seven to nine, ten to twelve, thirteen to fourteen, fifteen years and older have their own table as well, and eighteen and up can sit with adults.”

“She seems quite efficient.”

“She is very much so,” Bilbo said, smiling.

“Your wife?”

“What? No! I’m, uh, her brother’s my partner.”

“Oh. Oh! My apologies.”

“Does that…”

“No. I’m bisexual,” Thranduil admitted. “Well, thanks. We’ll see you at dinner.”

“Of course! At dinner it is.”

Thranduil extended his hand and Bilbo grasped it firmly, shaking. “Enjoy your stay.”

“I think we will.”

With that, Bilbo tuned and left, hearing the click of the door behind him. Dis was leading another family up. Another single father with three boys and a girl. The youngest looked to be about Kili’s age and he stood out among them with his freckles and wavy curls.

He looked at Bilbo and smiled.

Two blonds followed close behind, both clearly older, but elegant in their own way.

“Mr. Peredhil, Mr. and Mrs. Lorien, this is Bilbo Baggins, one of the co-owners of the castle.” Bilbo shook their hands.

“It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“And you,” Mrs. Lorien said, arching a brow. “Mr. Baggins.”

 _How many vampires and Half Ones do you think will be coming?_ She asked.

_Not sure. I sent letters to those I know, but you I do not recall._

_I would like to speak with you in time. Same as my husband and son in law._

_It would be an honor, Madam._

“Well, I will be downstairs to greet the next guests if you need me, Dis.”

“I likely won’t, but it’s good to know.”

Bilbo passed them by and skipped down the stairs, to find Thorin speaking with Smaug, who, it seemed, had brought a guest. Bilbo cleared his throat and the trio turned to him. His blood went cold when they tuned and the unknown man met his gaze.

“Bilbo, this is Mr. Sauron Annatar.”

“Ah.”

_You cannot be him. He is dead—_

_Is that any way to greet your stepfather?_

“Welcome to Erebor,” Bilbo said, trying to hide his discomfort. “Might I show you your room?”

“I would like that,” Sauron said, approaching him. “We have much to discuss,” he whispered.

“No, we don’t,” Bilbo hissed. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“Oh, but I have many things to say to _you_ , dearest stepson.”

_Smaug, I will have words with you in a bit._

_If you insist._

_I do._

“Follow me. I would love to show you your rooms,” Bilbo said, trying not to grit his teeth.


	33. Chapter 33

Bilbo closed the office door once he and Smaug were alone. Then he turned and seized Smaug’s coat and pulled him close. “Sauron is supposed to be dead. Care to explain how he still lives?”

“I…well…I…”

“You _are_ his servant?!”

“Bilbo, I can explain.”

“I do hope so,” Bilbo growled, shoving him back into a chair. “How long have you been double crossing me?” Smaug swallowed.

“Sauron sent me to you, as he had all the others before.”

Bilbo paused, gaping. “Every one?”

“Since Thorin died, yes.”

“And you’re telling me this now because…why?”

“I…you know he lives. He probably doesn’t care how much you know now.”

“Except his future plans, is that right?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. He never shared those with me.”

“Predicted this, then, I suppose. Probably thought it’d be funny.” Bilbo sat on the desk, massaging his forehead. “So you told him everything about me, I suppose?”

“I reported any changes in your routine, yes.”

“And what of my other servants? Did they really just leave? Disappear?”

“No. They would become sympathetic to your situation and when Sauron sensed their shift in loyalty, he killed them.”

“Did he send Azog to kill Thorin?”

“I don’t know.”

Bilbo sighed and sniffed. “Okay, then. By right, I should kill you, but Dis would be suspicious of your disappearance.”

“Sauron would sooner kill me anyway.”

“You were not loyal to me until her.”

“I love her.”

“You _think_ you love her. You don’t _know_ her, Smaug. A couple meetings, a couple dates, that’s not enough to know you love her. You might like her, but she is a vampire, Smaug. You’re a dragon, a Half One. Do you really believe you are worthy of her?”

“Of course not,” he said. _Who do you think pushed the shelf?_

Bilbo growled. “And why reveal that now?”

“You’re going to kill me anyway. Or Sauron will. What would be the point in keeping that secret? All I ask is that she not know it was me. I didn’t know her then.”

“You idiot. You sad, pathetic idiot. I’m not going to kill you. I want to use you to get back at my stepfather, probably kill him, as I meant to all those centuries ago. And if Dis happens to find out you tried to kill her, orphan her children…well, I won’t vouch for your change of heart.”

Bilbo went to the door. “I have no need for a servant who serves another master. You’re dismissed from my service.”

“You would send me to him?”

“You already work for him. True, you did my bidding, but you were first employed by him, Smaug. I hope you find him more merciful than I.”

“You know he isn’t!”

“That is not my problem anymore.” Bilbo left the room and massaged his forehead.

“He tried to kill my sister?” Bilbo looked at Thorin, registering the lividity in his stance and aura.

“If you want to kill him, I won’t stop you,” Bilbo said. “I didn’t know until now, myself. We have a bigger problem, though.”

“Like what?”

“My stepfather, Sauron Annatar, once known as the Lord of Mordor Rock, is here.”

“And?”

“He is a vampire. Your past self must have turned him accidently.”

“What happened? How does one…”

“I did, with you.”

“We were having sex, Bilbo, and I bit you.” Bilbo nodded, rubbing his shoulder where he’d been bitten. “Does it still hurt?”

“No, it’s healed, but it aches sometimes. It’ll go away.” Thorin nodded, massaging the shoulder.

“But still…”

“I don’t know how it could have happened. We were certain he was dead. I mean…we caught him beating my _mother_. You pulled him off while I tried to save her, but she was already…”

Thorin embraced him. “And he blames _me_. I sense it.”

“It wasn’t you.”

“She got angry when she learned I was a homosexual, but she still loved me, accepted us, and then he…why is he still alive?!”

Thorin hushed him. “We’ll rectify this, okay? It’s fixable. I’m sorry, Bilbo. I know it must be hard right now, but still, I’m so sorry…”

Bilbo shook his head. “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault…”


	34. Chapter 34

Fili eased Frodo back down into the chair. “Do you think it’ll be okay?” he asked. “I know our uncles will be fine, but there are others and…”

“I think we’ll be fine,” Frodo said, shifting into a more comfortable position. “And I want to walk.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I want to walk into the dining room if I can.”

Fili bit his lip, still unsure. “I’ll be right by you if you fall.” Frodo grinned.

“That’s all I can ask,” he said. “Thank you, Fili.”

“Yeah…”

“Ah, young love.” Frodo and Fili looked at the man. Fili swallowed, not liking the look the man gave them. “You’ve no need to worry, lads. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want ‘em to know,” he winked and it sent chills down Fili’s spine. “See you at dinner.”

He disappeared and Frodo swallowed. “I don’t know about you, but I didn’t like the feeling that man gave me.”

“I felt it too.”

“Should we tell Bilbo and Thorin?”

“Not yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter. I'm trying, but good lord, not only am I dealing with my hands, but I'm also creatively zapped! I'll likely put this one on hiatus for a bit, but at the same time, it's getting closer to the end....


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: discussion of spousal/physical abuse toward the end.

Whatever it was that he planned, Bilbo swore that Sauron would _not_ get away with it. For now, he played the host, gracious and happy to serve with Thorin beside him.

The children were getting along as well as hoped, though Legolas did not seem fond of Kili’s tiny crush on Tauriel. Dis and Thranduil both found it enjoyable enough to discuss more encounters in the future while Thorin’s gaze remained firmly fixed on Smaug.

Who, wisely, decided not to approach Dis. The longing stares did not help Thorin’s temper, Bilbo knew, but as long as he stayed away from her, Thorin would not attempt to kill him in front of the guests.

In the middle of the feast, Fili stood and cleared his throat, face red. “Um, Frodo and I have something to show everyone.”

“A few months ago,” Frodo began, “I was in an accident that left me comatose. When I woke up, my muscles had atrophied and left me unable to walk. But…well…with Fili’s help—and though it’s not as much as I hoped and it is taking longer than I’d like…”

“I think we should just show them,” Fili suggested when Frodo lost his words. Frodo stood. His legs shook beneath him but he took a few clumsy steps away from his seat and the dining room erupted with cheers. Bilbo felt like crying. Gandalf and Dis _were_ crying.

When Frodo sat back down, he was nearly completely engulfed in a sea of people—children and adults, humans and vampires and Half-Ones—wishing him best and congratulating his accomplishment so far. When Bilbo finally got to him, he embraced him.

“It doesn’t seem fast enough. It was just a few steps.”

“A few steps is always something to be proud of,” Bilbo said, giving him a little squeeze. “I’m proud, lad. I always will be.”

“We aren’t even…”

“Perhaps not, but does it matter? We are kin, even if only distantly. Eat! And get some rest tonight. You’ve earned it, Frodo.” He stood and returned to his seat, ignoring Sauron’s eyes on him.

#

Bilbo found Galadriel in the museum, perusing around the room. “Madam?”

“So many people died in this room,” she said. “You can hear the screams as you fed on their life blood.” Bilbo arched a brow.

“I needed to eat, Madam. We all do.”

“Of course,” she agreed, “But I fear this room might attract more negative attention.”

“Perhaps, but I have not let this fall to ruin and I do not intend to any time soon,” Bilbo said.

“Your stepfather does,” she said. “His mind is filled with ill intent toward you. He is angry with you because of what happened to your mother.”

Bilbo fumed. “ _He_ is the reason my mother died the way she did,” he growled. “He killed her. All I did was put her out of her misery. She _asked_ me to stop the pain, so I did. Thorin meant to kill him and still he…” Bilbo sucked in a breath and released it.

“I do not mean to bring up bad memories,” Galadriel said. “I seek the truth.”

“As do I. I only know my side of the story and that is it: Sauron beat my mother to the point where she was no longer my mother but a shell with her face. She begged me to end her life! _Begged!_ She was…she was too frigthtened to even try herself…”

Bilbo slumped against the wall and slid down it as his legs gave out. “I was a good son.”

“You were,” Galadriel said. “You saw no other option.”

“There _were_ other options! I just…I couldn’t…I…”

“At the time, there were no other options. There is no guarantee that your mother would have overcome her abuse. It is horrid what your stepfather did, but you saved her. In the end, you were the best son she could have had.”

Bilbo pinched the bridge of his nose, shoulders shaking. “Why is he alive?! He should be dead! Thorin killed him! He was supposed to kill him!”

He received no answer, save for Galadriel petting his head and trying to hush him as he wept.


	36. Chapter 36

“Frodo,” Sauron said, approaching him. Frodo halted, stiffening as Sauron approached. “I wanted to congratulate you again on your achievement.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

“May I ask how long you’ve been under Mr. Baggins’ care?”

“A few months. My godfather, Dr. Grey, insisted on it.”

“Oh? I wonder why.”

“Maybe he thought Bilbo would be a better guardian than he would. Gandalf’s—Dr. Grey—isn’t around very much.”

“A lack of judgment, I think. Bilbo isn’t exactly…”

“I know what he is. And I know what you are. The way you look at him made it easy to guess. I’d rather stay with Bilbo, thanks. I don’t know what you’re up to, but you should give up. I also don’t know what Bilbo did to you, but do you know his reasons? Maybe he had a good one.”

Sauron’s expression twisted to anger. “You know nothing, boy!”

“Sauron!” Bilbo shouted, storming toward them. “May I have a word privately? Frodo, this doesn’t concern you. Off you go, lad.”

Frodo didn’t have to be told twice. He left as fast as he could and only looked back once to see Bilbo poking Sauron in the chest. Sauron looked amused at Bilbo’s fury.

#

“You’ve been avoiding me all night,” Dis said. Smaug turned around and sighed when he realized it was her. “Is something on your mind?”

“A lot of things are on my mind,” he admitted. “Dis, whatever you find out in the near future, know I think differently now. I think I—”

“You were told to keep your distance,” Thorin growled, stepping between them.

“Thorin, what are you doing?”

“She approached me. What would you have me do? Push her away?”

“That’s _exactly_ what you should be doing!”

Dis pushed Thorin back, snarling. “Thorin, the only one who should be minding his own business is you! I love him!”

“Dis, you don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“I do. I know my heart.”

“Dis, you can’t love me,” Smaug said. “I lied to you.”

 Dis looked at him, brow furrowed. Smaug sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I tried to kill you at IKEA. I didn’t know you then and I was supposed to kill you. Bilbo’s stepfather…”

Dis roared and grabbed him, hoisting him over the rail and letting him dangle, an abyss of trees and darkness beneath them. Her hands shook. “You…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? SORRY?!!” She shook him. “If not for Bilbo, my sons would be without their mother!”

“I didn’t have a choice.”

“There is always a choice!”

Smaug sighed. “Maybe you’re right. So now what? Are you going to drop me? I won’t blame you if you do. I didn’t expect to fall in love with you when I approached you again. I was supposed to get close enough to finish the job, but I couldn’t…” He bowed his head, unable to meet her gaze. “I love you and I understand that I broke your heart. I’m sorry, Dis.”

Dis huffed and pulled him back over. “You’re right. You did break my heart. But I’ll let your master handle you, whoever that really is.” She stormed off and Thorin followed, glaring at him.


	37. Chapter 37

The night had had its ups and downs and now that everyone went to bed, Thorin found himself torn between comforting his sister and his beloved. He couldn’t tell who needed him more.

Dis had locked herself in her room and her boys were scared by the weeping seeping through the door. Bilbo had become catatonic, staring out the window, crying silently save for the occasional ragged breath and sniffle.

For now, he decided to leave Bilbo and Dis alone and focus on getting the boys to bed—especially Kili, who was very worried about his mother.

“She was hurt earlier today,” Thorin said, tucking him in. “And I don’t know how to make her feel better. She won’t let me in. But you know, she’ll be okay, Booger,” Thorin kissed Kili’s forehead and brushed his hair away. “You can give her a hug in the morning. I know she’d like one.”

Kili nodded and closed his eyes.

Thorin closed the door and approached Bilbo. He wrapped his arms around him and hugged him, hiding his face in the crook of Bilbo’s neck.

“I’m here, _Älskling_.”

Bilbo leaned into him, biting his lip.

“Don’t do that,” Thorin said, cupping Bilbo’s chin.

Bilbo sighed, letting Thorin kiss him. “Do you remember why you let him live?”

Thorin shook his head. “I wouldn’t have,” he said. “Something must have gone wrong and we weren’t aware of it. But,” Thorin squeezed him kissing his shoulder. “We can fix it now. We can stop whatever it is he’s planning and we can finally avenge your mother.”

Bilbo nodded. “I would like that.”

#

Kili couldn’t sleep.

Whenever he was sad or scared, he slept with his mother. Why should it be different now just because it was his mother who was sad?

He tiptoed past Thorin and Bilbo (who were kissing. Yuck!) and knocked on Dis’ door.

“Mum?”

The door opened and Dis appeared, wiping her eyes and trying to look less miserable than she was. “Yes honey? What is it? Can’t sleep?”

“Kind of. Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Dis nodded and led Kili into the room. He climbed onto the bed and Dis tucked him in with her. “I love you, Mum,” Kili whispered.

Dis hiccupped and smiled. “I love you, too, _min söt valp_ ,” she said, giving him a hug.

Kili pet her hair as she drifted to sleep, still crying. He didn’t know what hurt her, but he guessed it wasn’t a physical hurt.

He hoped she’d feel better soon. He really hoped so. It scared him to see his mother cry. Especially like this! He hoped Uncle Thorin and Bilbo would take care of whoever hurt her. No one hurt his mother and got away with it!

Not on Kili’s watch, no siree!

And that was his last thought before falling asleep at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Älskling (Swedish) = My love (http://www.yourlivingcity.com/stockholm/lifestyle/swedish-valentines-vocabulary-petnames-101-2/)  
> min söt valp (swedish) = my sweet puppy (Google Translate)
> 
> Feel free to correct me if any of this is wrong.


	38. Chapter 38

Bilbo woke, cocooned in Thorin’s embrace. He inhaled deeply, releasing his breath in a slow stream. Thorin tightened his hold around him and groaned against Bilbo’s neck, beard tickling Bilbo’s skin. Bilbo twisted out of his embrace and kissed him.

“Don’t go,” Thorin mumbled sleepily, pouting. Bilbo giggled and kissed him again.

“Someone’s got to see to the other vampires here,” he said. “And since I’m the senior of this family—” Thorin snorted at that. “It’s my duty. Besides, it’s no different from if the castle wasn’t renovated.”

“I don’t know how you managed before then.”

“Don’t need heat like I used to,” Bilbo said. He kissed Thorin’s hand. “Go back to sleep, love. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

He let go of Thorin’s hand and went to get ready for the day. Once he deemed himself respectable enough, he left their compartment and met with the vampires in the basement. Several were walking about, looking at the remnants of his and Thorin’s past. The rest of them were huddled in the center, speaking in hushed whispers. Along the wall was breakfast: humans shackled together. Some still jumpy and with some life, others who had long given up and resigned themselves to their fate.

Bilbo cleared his throat. “Thank you for coming,” he began, standing straight and smirking. “I did not expect such a turnout.”

“Why of course you’d have many guests!” Mary said, giggling. “How many of us here are your children?”

A cheer rose. Bilbo knew he made many vampires, but was this really all that was left of his kin?

It was more than he thought.

He grinned. “Well said, my dear,” he replied. “But I asked you to meet with me here so that we could figure out what to do with my stepfather.”

The room grew silent and even Mary seemed to pale more than usual.

“Sauron?”

“I thought he was dead!”

“All of us did,” Bilbo said. “Thorin meant to kill him, but something went wrong. What exactly, he doesn’t recall.”

Galadriel cleared her throat. “Sauron has lived for as long as Bilbo had. I took the liberty of finding out all his doings since becoming one of us,” she said. “Aside from manipulating Bilbo’s unhappiness over the years through his servants, and aside from abusing Bilbo’s mother, I have found that he was the one who sent the hunter Azog to kill not only Thorin, but Bilbo.”

Bilbo wished he wasn’t that surprised, but it made sense. “Well, as you can see, he failed to take my life, but indeed, after I took Azog’s head, Sauron made sure I remained miserable. It ends tonight. Tonight, we kill him.”

“I fear that would be more difficult than you think,” Celeborn, Galadriel’s husband, stated.

“Not if we work together,” Bilbo said. “We have a hunter on our side. Gandalf Grey may have hung up his weapons, but he is a hunter and a Half One. I trust him. He brought me the family I have now. If we ask his help, he will assist.”

“I am not convinced that a hunter, retired or not, would want to help us,” Mary muttered.

“Nevertheless, I will need all willing hands. Sauron hasn’t been a vampire as long as I have, but he is still an Old One. My guess is that he and I will be matched strength for strength. I cannot kill him alone.”

The others looked at each other and raised their hands in salute. Those who didn’t bowed their heads and wished them the best. With that, they turned to the humans chained together hungrily. The youngest of them was unlocked and brought to Bilbo as Tribute. Bilbo smirked.

“To the dark in all!” he toasted before sinking his fangs in the youth’s jugular.


	39. Chapter 39

Thorin could smell it on him when he returned to their room. “You fed?”

“I did.”

“And left me and Dis out of it?”

“You wouldn’t have wanted to be there,” Bilbo said. “It was more…ritualistic than you are used to. Younger Vampires don’t appreciate the old ways as much. You and she would have thought it too gruesome. Trust me, I did you both a favor leaving you out of it.”

He straddled Thorin’s hips and wrapped his arms around him. “Don’t be mad at me, love,” he purred, pressing their foreheads together.

Thorin sighed and licked Bilbo’s lips, tasting the sweetness of the blood that lingered still. Bilbo returned the kiss and slid off his lap, kneeling between Thorin’s legs, nose pressed to Thorin’s groin, sighing. Thorin ran his fingers through Bilbo’s hair as his fly was undone and his cock pulled out. Bilbo didn’t put it in his mouth, but he pressed his lips to it and darted his tongue out every so often.

He sighed, melting into Bilbo’s touch. Bilbo pushed him onto his back and ripped at his clothes. Thorin let him, hips bucking at his lover’s touch and strength. Bilbo ran his fingers over Thorin’s chest and belly, kissing as much skin as he dared. Thorin pulled at his hair, sinking his fangs into Bilbo’s shoulder. Bilbo stroked his cock as he fed, coaxing him to completion.

“That’s it, love,” he cooed, “That’s it…”

Thorin growled and detached his teeth from Bilbo’s flesh, rolling him over and yanking his clothes off and batting his hand away before biting him again. Bilbo’s legs wrapped around his hips and his nails dug into his skin.

Bilbo gasped, muscles tensing and grip tightening. Thorin pulled away from his neck, allowing Bilbo to bite him back, washing away the scent of whomever Bilbo fed on earlier. Once sated, Thorin pulled the covers over them and licked at Bilbo’s bloodied shoulder.

“Don’t ever feed without me again,” he whispered between licks. “I don’t like it.”

“Oh, you silly man,” Bilbo chuckled, kissing him. “If you insist on it, I’ll not keep you from such meetings.”

“I don’t like the idea of another touching you.”

Bilbo hit his arm. “It wasn’t _that_ kind of meeting! Goodness gracious, you’re the only one for me, Thorin Durin, and always have been!”

Thorin grinned and kissed him. “Thank you for reassuring me.”

Bilbo scoffed. “Like hell I’d participate in an orgy! Especially without you! Others can do that if they like. Not me.”

“Say I want to,” Thorin said, humming. “I kind of like the idea of watching you get fucked.”

Bilbo rolled his eyes and smacked his arm again, blushing.

“So, what _was_ this meeting about?”

Bilbo curled against him. “What to do about Sauron. I still need to have a word with Gandalf, but there are those loyal to me here. They’re willing to help me get rid of him.”

“And I couldn’t know about this why?”

“I figured someone needed to be there for Dis given what Smaug did to her, and you’re her brother, so…”

“Ah.”

“That and ritualistic feedings really aren’t for fledgling vampires. Too brutal. Especially for those who came about over the last couple centuries.”

“Got it.”

Bilbo pushed himself up and kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Thorin said, pulling Bilbo’s other leg over his waist. “And I want to make love to you again.” Bilbo grinned and reached for the lube.

“I’d rather you fuck me like the animal you are,” he said, shaking the bottle. Thorin swallowed, heart hammering.

_You’ll regret that._

Bilbo smirked. _We’ll see._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't had that in a while...hope it lived up to expectations.


	40. Chapter 40

Gandalf arched a brow when Bilbo voiced his request. “We could use all the help we can get and you are a hunter.”

“ _Was_ a hunter,” Gandalf corrected. “I haven’t hunted vampires in years! True, I do have my old things, but…” Bilbo touched his hand.

“Gandalf, I do not consider you my enemy. You brought me my happiness back and have entrusted me with Frodo despite knowing what I am. I trust you, son of Vlad. Help me preserve it. Help me stop him from causing more pain. Please.”

Gandalf sighed. “I don’t know if I can, Bilbo. Look at me. I’m old. My hunting days are over. But I can at least help set the trap for him. Hm?”

Bilbo nodded. “Thank you, Gandalf. Thank you.”

#

Gandalf opened an old trunk, pulling out silvers stakes wrapped in leather, silver rosaries, and daggers. “Take care not to touch the silver,” he said.

“I know,” Bilbo said, picking up a stake by the leather hilt. “I still have my sword. Somewhere.”

“What sword?”

“The same that killed Azog all those years ago. It might come in handy.”

“You have a pure silver sword?”

“No, it’s not pure, but I got it off a hunter that came after us before. It’s been handy. It works.”

Gandalf hummed. “I never knew partial silver worked.”

“Well, who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?”

#

Smaug sat with his head bowed and hands limp. A bottle of scotch and whiskey rested on the table just a reach away. He looked up at it and shook his head. The door opened and he started up, reaching for a book end.

Sauron arched a brow and shook his head. “That won’t work on me and you know it.”

“No, but it will at least give me satisfaction and you a headache.”

“Put it down and shut up. I’ve a job for you.”

“I won’t—”

“I’m still your master, Smaug,” Sauron growled, pressing his face inches away from Smaug’s. “I have killed others for less.” Defeated, Smaug set the book end down and waited for Sauron’s orders. Sauron grinned. “My stepson is up to something. I need leverage, so bring me Frodo Baggins.”

“What?”

“The boy could be useful, and he is someone I once loved dearly.”

“Belladonna?”

“Quicker than I thought.”

“He doesn’t remember. He shouldn’t need to.”

“Do it.”

“He’s a child. You can’t—”

“Do it or I will take one of your girlfriend’s boys and rip his heart out,” Sauron ordered. Smaug paled.

“Not the boys,” he said. “Not Frodo, Fili, or Kili.”

“Bring me Frodo, or I will feast on one of the brothers.”

“Please,” Smaug begged. “They’re children. Don’t bring them into this feud.”

“They already are in it. Now stop groveling and do as you’re told.”

Cornered, Smaug sighed and nodded. “I’ll bring you Frodo.” Sauron grinned and patted his cheek.

“Good dog.” With that, he left. Smaug sat down and grabbed the scotch. _What am I going to do?_


	41. Chapter 41

Smaug approached the Durins’ and Bilbo’s room. He knocked and waited. The door opened and Thorin stood in the doorway, glaring at him.

“I need to speak with Bilbo.”

“You have a lot of nerve—”

“Sauron wants me to bring Frodo to him,” Smaug interrupted. “And if I don’t, he’ll take one of your nephews.” Thorin blinked. “Let me help prevent that.”

“After what you did to us?”

“You can kill me if you like. I won’t even defend myself after what I did to Dis, but let me redeem myself first.” Thorin huffed and stepped aside to let him in. Frodo and Fili were at the table, reading, while Kili watched a movie with his mother, their back turned to Smaug.

“Where is Bilbo?” Smaug asked. Dis whipped around, eyes flashing.

“With Dr. Grey, setting whatever trap their planning.”

Smaug hummed. “The kids shouldn’t have to hear this. Is there someplace more private?”

“No,” Dis said, approaching them. “So speak quietly.” Smaug glanced at the boys, who now watched them intently. Thorin cleared his throat, motioning for them to leave it be. Kili obeyed, but the older two…well, teenagers…

Smaug sighed and recounted what Sauron demanded of him. Thorin then went to alert Bilbo while Dis sat down, hiding her face in her hands.

“Why are you doing this to us?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Smaug said, kneeling before her. “I’m trying to prevent more from happening. Dis, I was wrong. I know that now. I know you won’t forgive me, but let me help protect the children at least. And after we take care of Sauron, you don’t have to see me again.”

Dis lowered her hands and stared at him. “Okay. What do we do?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. Right now, I think we should wait for Bilbo to get here.”

Dis turned to face the boys and Smaug followed her gaze. Frodo and Fili were still watching them. They were pale and Smaug could see the fear in the boys’ eyes.

“He wants me, right?” Frodo asked.

“It’s not an option,” Dis said. “So put it out of your mind, Frodo.”

“But if that’s what it takes, then why not use me as bait? Why not take advantage of what he wants?”

“Because he is centuries old and not easy to trick,” Smaug said. “When Bilbo gets here, we’ll find another way.”

“But will there be?”

“Frodo,” Dis snapped. “You will not put yourself in danger like this.”

“But if I don’t, then Fili or Kili will be targeted, right?”

“Yes, but—”

“But nothing.” They looked at Gandalf. “Frodo is right, I’m afraid. And he need not go in unprotected. I’ve a few things that might keep him safe.”

“I don’t like this,” Bilbo growled, glaring at Gandalf. “It’s one thing for me and my children to go up against him, but Frodo isn’t a vampire. He’s not even an adult.”

“Unfortunately, I’ve put much younger children in danger for the sake of a hunt before,” Gandalf said. “Frodo can do this, with proper preparation.”

“Okay, what do I do?”

“No!” Bilbo yelled.

“He wants me, doesn’t he?! Then let him think he has me!”

“After everything, do you really believe I will allow you to go into unnecessary danger?!” Bilbo asked, seizing Frodo by the shoulders and lifting him out of his chair. “Boy, you are sadly mistaken!”

“Bilbo let him go!” Thorin shouted, prying Bilbo off. Frodo collapsed in the chair.

“Please,” he whispered. “I can do this. I know you know that I’m scared, so I won’t deny it, but I trust you. I trust all of you. So please let me help.”

“Then it’s settled,” Gandalf said. He pulled a crucifix out from underneath his shirt and put it on Frodo. “This is pure silver. Keep it on and he won’t be able to touch you.” Frodo nodded, stuffing it underneath his shirt. He looked at Smaug. “I think you better make it believable.”

Smaug sighed. “I’m sorry kid.”

“Just don’t get me killed,” he said. Bilbo shook his head and vanished.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character death in this chapter.

Smaug carried Frodo over his shoulder, hands tied behind his back and feet bound. Frodo had a burlap bag over his head.

“I knew you’d make the right decision,” Sauron said. Smaug carried Frodo a little ways further then disposed of him onto a chair.

“He’s heavier than he looks,” Smaug muttered. Frodo aimed a kick, though he was actually pleased he had gained weight. He’d been unhealthily skinny. Or so he felt. “What now? What are you going to do with him?”

“That is not your concern,” Sauron said. “Leave.”

“Just remember that he’s a child.”

“Some years ago, he’d be a man!” the bag was yanked off and Frodo looked up at Sauron. “Now, what do you remember, Frodo?”

“What do you mean?”

“Of your past life. Do you remember me?”

“Never met you before you came here,” Frodo said, glaring at him, trying to put on a brave front. Sauron chuckled.

“No need to act so brave, Boy. I can hear your heart and it is fast enough I can dance to it if I wished.” He placed his hand over Frodo’s heart and yanked it back just as fast. His flesh sizzled, smoke rising from his hand. “You’re wearing silver! And you!” he rounded on Smaug.

“Master, I swear I did not know!” Sauron approached him and shoved Smaug against the door. Frodo wiggled his hands, pulling free of the ropes tying them together.

“You told your whore didn’t you?!”

“I swear I did not!”

“Stop lying to me, Smaug!”

“I am not—”

Sauron plunged his hand into Smaug’s chest and ripped out his heart. Frodo watched, stunned. Sauron turned to him. “I think it’s time you remember who you are to me.”

Frodo glared at him, pulling his legs up. Sauron approached, bloodied arm outstretched. Frodo exhaled and, when Sauron was close enough, kicked him. Sauron backed away, more stunned than hurt.

“NOW!!!” He shouted. The doors slammed open, and a net was cast over Sauron. He shrieked, trying to rip it off as his skin sizzled and burned.

Bilbo stepped into the room, hands gloved and holding a silver stake. He slammed his foot into Sauron’s chin. Sauron grunted, falling backwards. Bilbo knelt over him and plunged the stake into his chest. Sauron gasped and stared at the stake before falling back. Bilbo jumped out of the way as he burst into flames. He looked at Frodo. “Are you all right?”

“More all right than Smaug,” he said. Bilbo turned to Smaug’s corpse and bowed his head. “Mary, untie Frodo and help him back to his room.”

She obeyed. Gandalf pulled the frayed net off and retrieved the stake and Frodo was pulled to his feet just as Dis entered and knelt by Smaug, pulling him into her embrace and weeping.

“What now?” Frodo asked. Bilbo turned to him and smiled.

“Now I wonder, with Sauron gone, if our lives will be disrupted by misery or blessed with joy. We will simply have to see. Go wash up, Frodo. You look like you could use some rest and tonight, we will celebrate.”

Mary lifted Frodo into her arms.

“Brave lad you are will have a place of honor tonight, that is certain,” she said.

The last thing Frodo saw before the door closed was Bilbo kneeling beside Dis, a hand on her shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...methinks we've a couple more chapters left. Stay tuned!


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some smut and humor in this last chapter. Thank you so much for reading!

~The Scandes, Year of our Lord 1006~

Bilbo leaned against the rail, trying to stave off the hunger plaguing him. He fed once before, but it was barely enough to satisfy him. He sensed Thorin outside the room. It was his smell; blood and rose and mint mingled together. And then Thorin’s scent was closer.

“I’m still angry.”

“I know,” Thorin whispered, “But you still need to feed. You haven’t had enough the other night, my love. There’s food in the dungeon for you.”

“I’m not hungry,” Bilbo lied. And he knew that Thorin knew.

“Please feed. And once you’ve done that, if you wish, I will let you leave.” Bilbo turned to him, frowning. “I’ve kept you here for a long time already and I was selfish.”

“Now just hold on,” Bilbo said. “Who said I _want_ to leave. I’m angry, yes, but I’m not abandoning you, Thorin. I’m not going to leave.”

“Before you were afraid of me whenever I…” he motioned to Bilbo’s neck. He hummed. “And now…now…Bilbo, I love you.”

Bilbo cupped his face in his hands. “And I love you, Thorin. I’m angry because you didn’t trust me.”

“You were afraid of me…”

“Well, what did you expect when you’d bite me? For me to just go along with it and not panic or want to ask questions. I’m not angry you turned me—well, not as much about that now. No, I’m more upset that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me that you were a vampire. I’m angry that you kept secrets from me. Important secrets. Did you not think I deserved to know?”

Thorin nodded. “Of course, but there was never a good time nor way to broach the subject.”

“Well, of course not! There never would have been. It’s not a light conversation, at least. But tell me the truth now. Is there anything else I should know?”

“I’ve lived for three centuries.”

“So this son…”

“Dead. I offered to…he refused.”

“And you could not offer it to me?”

“I was afraid you’d say no, same as he did.”

“I see…”

“As I said: I was selfish.”

Bilbo nodded. He pulled Thorin close and kissed him. “I’m not leaving you, nor would I abandon you now. Because I’ve been selfish too,” he replied. “I love you and I’m glad you saved me, even if…well…”

Thorin closed his eyes, gasping as he tried to hold back tears. “Forgive me, please. Please forgive me. I won’t hold back the truth again, but please…I can’t bear to have you furious with me. Not like this.”

Bilbo hushed him. “I’ll feed later.”

“You need to eat.”

“And I will,” Bilbo promised. “But I have missed you and I want you to rid me of my ire, Thorin. I want you to touch me again. I want your hands on my skin right now. It’s been too long since we made love. Don’t you agree?”

Thorin took Bilbo’s face in his hands, closing the distance between their lips. Bilbo’s hands moved from his face to his chest, pulling the laces free. Thorin lifted Bilbo into his arms and carried him to the bed, lowering him down onto the covers. Bilbo broke away to pull his tunic off and Thorin kissed his chest, moving down to his stomach and pulling the fur lined hose down.

Once Bilbo lay naked before him, he dove down and kissed his lips, squeezing the fat of his thighs and rutting against him. Bilbo pulled at Thorin’s clothes.

“Off,” he demanded between kisses. “All of it. Off. Now.”

Thorin growled and obliged. Bilbo moaned, back arching when their skin met, cocks rubbing together. Thorin kissed his exposed neck, teeth nipping gently. Bilbo rolled over, pressing his bum to Thorin’s groin. Thorin grabbed Bilbo’s hips, sandwiching his cock between Bilbo’s cheeks and rubbing, careful not to thrust too hard and hurt him.

Bilbo clutched at the sheets beneath him, panting. He pulled away and pushed Thorin onto his back, biting his neck. Thorin gasped, needing to bite just as badly. He pulled Bilbo away and urged him to bite his shoulder instead making it easier for himself to bite and feed as well…

~Oslo, Sweden, 2030 AD~

Kili knew he ought to eat something better than a bagel, but he simply hadn’t the time nor money to do so. Not with finals around the corner and being behind on this particular project for his archeology course. His phone buzzed and he answered.

“Hello?”

“ _Hey little brother!_ ” Fili’s voice called. He could hear Frodo as well, laughing, “ _We’re in town. Want to meet up?_ ”

“Can’t. I’m really behind on this homework assignment.”

“ _Too bad. We’re kidnapping you._ ”

“Fili don’t you—” The line clicked and ended. “Dare…” the window opened and Fili and Frodo climbed in. Kili massaged his temple. “Friggin’ vampires.”

“Don’t be like that,” Frodo said, sitting on the bed. “C’mon. Boys night.”

“No. You just want me to show you a new hunting ground. Last time, I was questioned by the cops.”

“Yeah, Mum wasn’t happy about that,” Fili said.

“Nor Bilbo,” Frodo added.

“Well, neither was I. You’re not supposed to kill. So just go to the usual hunting grounds and let me study in peace.”

“You need a break.”

“I’m gonna fail this course if you keep dragging me away…”

“Fine,” Frodo said, grabbing Fili’s arm and pulling him away. “If you really insist, we won’t drag you along. Have fun being boring.”

“I can have all the fun in the world with you guys when I graduate. If I graduate…”

“You’ll graduate,” Fili assured him. “See you around, Kee.” With that, his brothers left, jumping out the window and running off, laughing and joking. Kili closed the window, sighing.

_Vampires…_


End file.
